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Thread: Overreacting or am I being inconsiderate?!

  1. #1

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    Overreacting or am I being inconsiderate?!

    I have a reckless and sometimes do what I want mentality without realizing the consequences. This irks my boyfriend to no end and heís told me repeatedly. Iíve tried to be more aware of it but sometimes itís just annoying and I think heís overreacting. He says that I only think about myself but he also doesnít give me a chance to try to do something together or make plans. When heís in a mood he blames it all on me and my lack of empathy. I admit that I could communicate more and not assume but I also donít think itís fair that he makes me feel like because of it. Can this be changed or is this something we have to accept in each other? It causes strain in our relationship And his retaliation is to just go out and do his own thing which I feel hurts it even more.

  2. #2
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    Can you provide some specific examples of what you do that he perceives as reckless? And what do he go and "do" in retaliation?

  3. #3
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Examples please. This is far too general.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Along with specific examples, I wouldnít mind known how old you both are and how long youíve been together and dealing with this clash. With a bit more context it will be easier to offset some perspective and advice.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Along with specific examples, I wouldnít mind known how old you both are and how long youíve been together and dealing with this clash. With a bit more context it will be easier to offset some perspective and advice.
    I agree with bluecastle. Awaiting your answers.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    You two are just too far apart personality wise. He expects you to be a certain way, and you want to be yourself....it will never work between you two.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Without examples, it's hard to gauge.

    But, if you're only thinking of yourself, and if you're only considering your own feelings or assume everyone around you wants the same things you want and don't ASK and don't consider their feelings, then yeah...you're the problem.

    Can it be changed? Yes, it depends on if you want to change and to grow as a person and be a better version of yourself.

  9. #8

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    We live together and in our mid 30ís. Some examples include:

    Me not apologizing for taking up both parking spots and him having to wait a few minutes for me to move. I didnít know he was coming home. He says I never listen.

    When he has 3 days off of work, I made plans for a few hours with a friend and planned on spending rest of time with him he says itís not enough and I should have asked what we were doing first cause heís rarely off. I even had surprised him with tickets to a game the next day and had to tell him early cause he was upset.

    I took the dog out for an hour and he left saying heís not my doormat and heís not waiting around for me. It was early and I figured when I got back weíd do something. Itís a Sunday and he does watch the games. He says by taking dog out I cut into our time together cause heíll be gone most of day. Again he didnít give me a chance to suggest something. He says I assume too much.

    I feel like I canít do anything right. Is it me?!

  10. #9
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    I agree that examples are needed here. Too general.

    Have other people ever told you that you are reckless, impulsive or inconsiderate? A brother or sister or friend?

    If no one else finds you this way, then itís either that heís sensitive or you are incompatible. If youíve heard this feedback before - maybe itís worth considering that itís you.

  11. #10

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    Please see respond below.

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