Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Should I attend my friends dads funeral?

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    76

    Should I attend my friends dads funeral?

    My friends dad passed away. I am conflicted whether to attend the funeral or not. I dont know his dad and have only met him once. If I attend it would be to support my friend.
    The thing is he is a friend from college and we have caught up over the years but lately I have not been feeling close to him. When we do see each other he likes to talk about himself and rarely asks about me. If his dad didnít pass I donít think I would want to see him again. I feel truly saddened that his dad has gone and feel guilty not going as a few college friends are attending.

  2. #2
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    203
    Gender
    Female
    Is there a viewing & a funeral? If so go to the viewing. Hug your friend. Express condolence to the other members of the family & leave. You don't have to go to the funeral or the repast. If you can't bring yourself to do either, send a card & in a week or two show up at your friend's house with food.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    22,824
    Originally Posted by TeeDee
    Is there a viewing & a funeral? If so go to the viewing. Hug your friend. Express condolence to the other members of the family & leave. You don't have to go to the funeral or the repast. If you can't bring yourself to do either, send a card & in a week or two show up at your friend's house with food.
    Good advice

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,694
    Show up at something since you are showing up out of respect for the family's loss. It's not a time to let feeling slighted get in the way of showing up for a funeral.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    3,538
    Gender
    Female
    It's up to you. There's a very high likelihood the hours and days are passing by in a blur and he might not respond to seeing friends or people he knows very well in the usual manner considering the circumstances. If you're expecting him to recognize all of you (or you in general) and be completely 'with it', leave room for grief and any emotions he's going through. If what you're looking for is friendship in a time of loneliness (your own loneliness) and you don't have it in you to do something like this, don't go. It'll be a waste of your time and it's insincere.

    If you do feel moved to be there and say your prayers and offer your last respects to the deceased, then go. There is no pressure here and don't worry about what your other friends are doing. You're not joined at the hip.

  7. #6
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    479
    Reverse the situation. How would you feel if your friend from college didn't attend your dad's funeral? That might give you the answer you are seeking. Also, should you choose to not attend, you can send flowers or whatever is appropriate.

    TeeDee gave some nice pointers.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    6,510
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Show up at something since you are showing up out of respect for the family's loss. It's not a time to let feeling slighted get in the way of showing up for a funeral.
    I agree with Batya33.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    39,183
    Gender
    Male
    If you can not attend simply send whatever condolences are in order, flowers, food basket, card, whatever. You are not obligated to be there in person.
    Originally Posted by soulsista29
    My friends dad passed away. I am conflicted whether to attend the funeral or not. If his dad didnít pass I donít think I would want to see him again. I feel truly saddened that his dad has gone and feel guilty not going as a few college friends are attending.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    2,308
    If you have to travel and it's inconvenient to attend the funeral, then I would postal mail a sympathy card and send a small bouquet of flowers. I would handwrite a note in the sympathy card and offer your sincere condolences. I would behave graciously if it were me.

    If the funeral is local, I'd attend because it's an act of kindness and respect to be selfless during your friend's grief, mourning and bereft state.

    I agree with others. I'd bring a homemade dinner or take-out / carry out dinner to your friend. There are times in life when "doing the right thing" is the way to behave because life is too short. BE KIND. A few college friends will attend. It's a time to reconnect, bond, reminisce your nostalgic youth, catch up and band together in moral support even if you part ways forever with your friend(s).

    You'll be glad that you did something as opposed to ignore completely.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    The emerald city
    Posts
    1,137
    Gender
    Male
    I went to my ex-mother in law's funeral. My ex wife looked a bit shocked, but I wanted to pay my respects to the ex father in law outside the church. Having done that, I politely declined his invitation to the wake, and took my leave.

    You may want to do something similar. Just enough, but not too much. Granted the circumstances are not as severe, so you might not need to draw such a firm line.


Videos


Most Women Rather Not Date Unemployed Men

Why Young People Don't Rush To Marry? They Fear Divorce

Why People Lie On Online Dating Services?

Relationships During Quarantine

Cheating Husbands Are at Risk of a Heart Attack

Romance At Work: Yes Or No?
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •