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Thread: Why is Ex gf mad at me when she broke it off? Should I do something?

  1. #1

    Why is Ex gf mad at me when she broke it off? Should I do something?

    My Ex (18F) and I(20M) had a breakup because apparently she has not warmed up to the idea of being in a relationship after being in a relationship for 3 months. I gave her 2 opportunities to tell me how she felt about being in one because she always acted aloof, but she said she was interested and wanted more. I put a lot of effort into this "relationship" but she didn't. when she ended it, I was rather nonchalant about it, but internally raging for all my wasted effort. Regardless of that, she didn't show up for our class the following day despite not having a reason to not be there. Why is that? We had our next class together and she was staring at me though the corner of her eye even though I sit right behind her (not my choice) for the better part of the class. after that, I was pulling out of the parking lot, and she was walking to her car all while her eyes were tracking me pulling out with a angry look on her face. I was very amused but found it very strange. I feel like this is not bothering me at all, but I don't know why she keeps staring me down. The other day I have the hunch that she was attempting to follow me. Today, She was all like making faces like she didn't like looking at me. I didn't do anything. She is the one who broke up with me and she has the nerve to be mad at me? In addition she still follows me on social media. C'mon what joke.
    I haven't spoken to her since.

    Any theories on her strange behavior? Also should I do anything about it?

    Thank you very much in advance

  2. #2
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    I have to wonder if you're reading into these vague "signs" too much, and seeing anger that just isn't there.

    Nothing you have written is really evidence of her being mad at you. She sounds a bit awkward and immature in that she doesn't quite know how to handle being around you after dumping you, but that's about it. After all, she's only 18. She doesn't have a good grasp on dating/breaking up yet. The rest sounds like projection on your part, unless you're leaving out significant details.

    If she ended it, there is nothing for you to do but go about your life. It will be unpleasant having to see her all the time but you will both eventually move on from that.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Seems a bit intense. Giving her two opportunities sounds like you gave her ultimatums to prove to you that she cares about you. Unfortunately that kind of approach just brings out the worst in people. You end up getting the deer in headlights type of scenario or the middle finger if it's someone who's less afraid of you and your intensity. I think you can safely chalk it up to not being on the same page for whatever reason on both sides. The vibes were all wrong. It doesn't mean either of you are bad people. Take it easy.

    People follow other people on social media all the time. Perfect strangers follow other strangers on social media. Exes follow exes on social media. I think you're very hurt but try not to overthink this. If you don't like it, delete and block her. You have no obligation to keep her there or let her look into your life.

    Her behaviour doesn't sound too strange but I feel for you because you're upset. You're two people who came together, thought there was a spark, there wasn't much of it in the end and one person decided to pull the plug. It happens... a lot. Let go. It doesn't have to be so awkward on both sides. Try not to get angry at her and leave her alone. Start hanging around your other friends and chat with the other girls.

  4. #4
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    ďapparently she has not warmed up to the idea of being in a relationship after being in a relationship for 3 months. I gave her 2 opportunities to tell me how she felt about being in one because she always acted aloof, but she said she was interested and wanted more.Ē

    You were dating for 12 weeks and twice in 12 weeks you questioned her feelings about being in a relationship?
    She was interested in dating you , why add pressure by asking about relationship status?
    At the 12 week mark itís fine to ask about exclusive dating especially if having sex , but anything more than that is just needy. And off putting.

    As for the interactions post break up , itís quite likely she just doesnít know how to act around you since you both go to same classes etc. Avoiding the class the next day was simply avoiding having to act differently around you.
    And the supposed angry looks were quite likely not angry , just not smiley that you were used to.
    My dad always told me I looked angry when I wasnít smiling but it was my natural resting face lol

    You seem upset that she ended it , but you need to accept that there was valid reasons for her ending it and that she is fine , just a bit awkward atm.

    As for still following you on social media , well thatís just silly and goes to show that she is not angry.
    She hasnít even given it a second thought because she is that indifferent.

    There is a big difference between remaining on someones social media and actively following.
    Since you havenít said she has interacted with you on social media , I can only assume itís the former.

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  6. #5
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    Sounds like you tried too hard or were too intense whether that was your intention or not. I think it's scared her off. Why be like this at 20? You are young so you shoild just be enjoying life and each others company.

    Nothing turns people off more than demanding partners.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It's not worth the drama after 12 weeks of dating. What was the discrepancy? Did she want sex? Did she want some sort of exclusive, bf/gf/ designation? It sounds like she is too inexperience/immature to give you what you wanted.

    Act normal and don't stare at her. Just go about your business, go to class and move on. Leave her alone, just treat her like any other fellow student. Don't walk around with a grudge. You may want to date girls a bit older/more experienced.
    Originally Posted by DerFeind1940
    My Ex (18F) and I(20M). I gave her 2 opportunities to tell me how she felt about being in one because she always acted aloof, but she said she was interested and wanted more.

  8. #7
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    If you want her off your social media, block her.

    She's 18. You are older & presumably more mature. You pushed too hard, too fast for something you defined as a relationship without meaningfully sharing with her what you needed. You scared her & she didn't trust what you were offering her. Yet you kept pushing, demanding more then she knew how to give. At 18 you have to be one of her earliest relationships & her first "adult" relationships, at university not HS. The more you pushed & insisted without giving specifics the more she shut down.

    She may be looking at you now because she is trying to figure out where it all went wrong.

    In the future when you want something from a partner you need to be specific. I'd like you to call me 2 times per week. I want a good morning text. I want to hold hands when we go out. I'd like you to plan 1 date per week & I'd like to see you x times per week. I bet you didn't do that & you just asked her these vague broad philosophical questions she had no idea how to answer.

    When my husband & I got serious I point blank said to him I expect a kiss hello & goodbye & I also expect to say I love you every time we part or hang up a phone. Granted we met shortly after 9/11 so those lessons were still fresh in everybody's mind but I wanted to make sure that in the event of a tragedy our last words were always sweet ones. We have carried that throughout our marriage. Over the years we had to have discussions about gender rolls, how we handle holidays & birthdays, etc. In short we have to specify our expectations so that our partners could meet them rather then disappoint us. Without that level of communication you end up where you are -- broken up with no understanding of how it happened.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    This sounds like, "Maaa, she's looking at me!"

    I'd put my eyes back on my own paper and finish school.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    The only Ďjokeí here is the overinflated egotism going on right now.

    Step off the ledge.

    Youíre projecting, big time.

    You are seeing things through a foggy lens right now.

    Try to recognize that, as hard as it is, especially given your ages, instead of acting aloof or whatever, simply be cordial, surely given your ages youíre in college so your classes together canít be that much longer. Tough it out, let go.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    She's angry because you didn't get all sad about the breakup, so her ego go butt hurt. It's kid's stuff, so don't sweat it. Plenty of opportunity to meet someone new in your future.

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