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Thread: Friends with a male coworker

  1. #21
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    It's possible his wife found out you two are like two pees in a pod, and had enough of him being emotionally invested in other women. I have a feeling he's had many "friendships" with his female coworkers, etc. Married 3 times, makes you wonder who really is the source of the issues.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    The ring thing sounds a bit dramatic, waving around a ringless finger. I think it just invites attention. If he had it off, that's his personal decision but to wave it around like a reason isn't necessary. I think you're a decent person anyway, OP, and just overly concerned over a rather dramatic person in general. Let him work out his personal issues and steer clear. If you have feelings from him, you can't control the way you feel but you can control the way you behave and act at work and in your own personal life. I wouldn't consider this person dating material at all, not for a long time. He needs time to sort himself out and outgrow his current marriage and its dissolution.

    Spend more time with your friends and family and I'd put out any thoughts of previous friendship you once had with this person. It's not very appropriate either considering the work place. Stay professional and polite and leave it at that.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He was announcing that he's ready to cheat again... (even though he claims all his ex battleaxe wives falsely accused him of cheating) lol. Marriages are over when people get legally divorced, not when every cheating soul takes their ring off..
    Originally Posted by TeeDee
    He's technically married but once he took his ring off he was announcing that his marriage is emotionally over.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by amandamichel
    He is in an unhappy marriage and we talk about that a lot. I have encouraged him to work it out because this is his third marriage. He says his wife is constantly accusing him of cheating. He is tired of it and wants out. He said he was going to try and stick it out for a few more weeks.
    It's really inappropriate to be confiding to female coworker about intimate details of one's personal life. It's often the gateway to an emotional affair.

    Having said that, I suspect the wife wouldn't be pleased that he had a female confidant at work that knew about all their personal details. It makes one wonder if her concerns about him cheating are warranted. He definitely has some boundary issues. You may too.

    Does your husband know that this man was intimately confided in you? Do you do the same in return? Is you husband ok with that?

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    The ring thing sounds a bit dramatic, waving around a ringless finger. I think it just invites attention. If he had it off, that's his personal decision but to wave it around like a reason isn't necessary. I think you're a decent person anyway, OP, and just overly concerned over a rather dramatic person in general. Let him work out his personal issues and steer clear. If you have feelings from him, you can't control the way you feel but you can control the way you behave and act at work and in your own personal life. I wouldn't consider this person dating material at all, not for a long time. He needs time to sort himself out and outgrow his current marriage and its dissolution.

    Spend more time with your friends and family and I'd put out any thoughts of previous friendship you once had with this person. It's not very appropriate either considering the work place. Stay professional and polite and leave it at that.
    This 100% I was thinking the same thing. He's acting like an immature tool. Run for your life!

  7. #26
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Another option would be to invite him over for dinner where he can meet your husband. Maybe he could use another friend?

  8. #27
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    I would in the future - whether male or female, do not allow a coworker to badmouth their spouse to you. Redirect the conversation. I mean, there are exceptons - if a coworker comes in obviously trying to cover up a black eye and is choking back tears - that's completely different - but you would direct that person towards helps or cover for them "if you need some fresh air, I'll go walk the report to the boss." But don't let them wallow or let a man confide in you

  9. #28
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    Some married men don't wear their wedding ring all the time, thus seeing someone not wear one means squat. Plus, actions speak louder than words. He requested space, respect that and focus on your life.

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