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Thread: How to be positive

  1. #1
    Gold Member LazyDaisy's Avatar
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    How to be positive

    Hi ENA,

    Its been a while since I posted on here, not really sure where to turn today. In a nutshell my negative thoughts are causing depression and ruining my life. I want to know how others stay positive when life seems very bleak.

    In a nutshell this is my situation:

    I quit my career as an accountant and decided to buy a franchise. I was told by the franchising company that it takes roughly 6 - 9 months to open a store. I had plenty of money at that time to hold me over for the 6 - 9 months. It has now been a year and a half since I signed the contract and I am still not open. I am now shooting for March of 2020 so about 4 more months. I haven't gotten a job in all this time because I was lead to believe I was close to opening for all this time. Everyone tells you 2 more weeks for this or that and it turns out to be 3 or 4 months. So I thought my opening was imminent and didn't see the point of getting an accounting job just to turn around and quit. So now I am almost out of money, I have no health insurance and I am very depressed. I got a job from a friend that owns a restaurant and bar as a waitress. I started last week. She knows this is just temporary as she knows my situation. I am 51 and finding waitressing at my age very difficult. I dread going to work. It is much too physical for me.

    I also work part time at another franchisees store, but only make 8.75 an hour, which doesn't come close to paying my bills, but I can't quit because then I will have to go through training again from the corporate headquarters which is far away and I can't afford a plane ticket.

    I have tried getting a temporary accounting job for a few months, but with the gap in my resume it is difficult. Haven't had any interviews at all.

    I can barely get out bed anymore, other than to go to work. My hair has turned totally white and its starting to fall out heavily. I am aging quickly.

    My thoughts are that I am going to totally run out of money before this store gets open and lose my home and everything else I once had.

    Any advice is appreciated. I am already on a very strong anti depressant which usually works but with all these worries its no longer helping.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry all this is happening. Under the circumstances you are surviving well considering. Can you have an attorney look over the franchise contract? Where is the hold up? Did they try to scam you?

  3. #3
    Gold Member LazyDaisy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry all this is happening. Under the circumstances you are surviving well considering. Can you have an attorney look over the franchise contract? Where is the hold up? Did they try to scam you?
    The hold up now is getting a building permit from the city. Their review which should have taken 2 weeks took 3 months, and now I was just informed that the health department has to review the plans prior to building, which I didn't know. So their review could take up to 6 weeks. After their review which I assume will be fine since this is a national franchise, then comes the build out which should take 4 weeks tops, then we have to hire and train and then we can open.

    An attorney really can't help at this point. I think we are getting close to opening now. Its just my money situation that is bleak. After I open it may take a while to start making profit and I don't have enough money to last. Tried getting loans, no can do. At least not until I am open and can show a few months of profit, which if I am profitable I won't need a loan.

  4. #4
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Maybe you can take out a small loan to get you through the rough times?

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  6. #5
    Gold Member LazyDaisy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Maybe you can take out a small loan to get you through the rough times?
    The only loan I can get is from my parents. I hate to do that. But its my only option. With very little income you can't get a loan from a bank. I could do a small business loan maybe, but its 2500 for the application and there is no guarantee you will get the loan.

    I guess I will borrow from my parents. I am 51 and so embaressed to do this, but I don't see any other choice.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I think you need to go directly to your CPA governing/regulatory body in your area and ask them how to update your license. Speak to them about what you're missing in the past year and half. You won't get hired if you're not properly licensed/updated or haven't been taking the required minimum pd or continuing ed modules each year. You can also ask for mat leave positions for example which are usually a year or less if you're searching for work.

    I won't ask for the details on your store/franchise. It sounds like a lot of hiccups there. Are you open to calling this a loss? You're already in debt. I'd speak with a lawyer specializing in franchise businesses at this point regarding your options.

  8. #7
    Gold Member LazyDaisy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I think you need to go directly to your CPA governing/regulatory body in your area and ask them how to update your license. Speak to them about what you're missing in the past year and half. You won't get hired if you're not properly licensed/updated or haven't been taking the required minimum pd or continuing ed modules each year. You can also ask for mat leave positions for example which are usually a year or less if you're searching for work.

    I won't ask for the details on your store/franchise. It sounds like a lot of hiccups there. Are you open to calling this a loss? You're already in debt. I'd speak with a lawyer specializing in franchise businesses at this point regarding your options.
    I have thought about backing out of the franchise entirely, I would lose so much, I would have to get an attorney and sue everyone involved. I just want to get open. My only other thought is to let my husband finish up with the franchise and go back to accounting. But how should I explain the gap in Accounting experience? Should I include the experience of trying to open a franchise on my resume?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LazyDaisy
    The hold up now is getting a building permit from the city. Their review which should have taken 2 weeks took 3 months, and now I was just informed that the health department has to review the plans prior to building, which I didn't know. So their review could take up to 6 weeks. After their review which I assume will be fine since this is a national franchise, then comes the build out which should take 4 weeks tops, then we have to hire and train and then we can open.

    An attorney really can't help at this point. I think we are getting close to opening now. Its just my money situation that is bleak. After I open it may take a while to start making profit and I don't have enough money to last. Tried getting loans, no can do. At least not until I am open and can show a few months of profit, which if I am profitable I won't need a loan.
    None of the above timelines sound even remotely normal. Daisy....have you actually personally gone to the building department and the health department and asked them personally what's the issue and talked to them about it? Building permits do not take months, unless it was never filed on time. Health departments do not take months to review....and why would this even be a surprise to you that you'll need it if you are dealing with an experienced franchise, aka they should know what they are doing in your state.

    Yes, you do need to speak to an attorney and have them review what on earth is going on. What you are describing makes zero sense and ..... makes me wonder just how much have you actually been involved with this personally and how much you were just coasting along assuming things are being done for you without supervising and doing proper due diligence yourself. If you are just assuming that just because you bought into a national franchise that somehow things will run themselves, you are in for a world of hurt and disaster. Every business requires you to be neck deep in it and to have your finger on everything and checking what's going on. That's your job at all times and you don't get days off on that.

    This project is more than a few days behind and that's not normal at all. Most contracts have time is of the essence clauses along with penalties for not meeting time deadlines in it. Check for that because....duh...time costs money. If you signed a contract without that....you are learning a very painful lesson about it.

  10. #9
    Gold Member LazyDaisy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    None of the above timelines sound even remotely normal. Daisy....have you actually personally gone to the building department and the health department and asked them personally what's the issue and talked to them about it? Building permits do not take months, unless it was never filed on time. Health departments do not take months to review....and why would this even be a surprise to you that you'll need it if you are dealing with an experienced franchise, aka they should know what they are doing in your state.

    Yes, you do need to speak to an attorney and have them review what on earth is going on. What you are describing makes zero sense and ..... makes me wonder just how much have you actually been involved with this personally and how much you were just coasting along assuming things are being done for you without supervising and doing proper due diligence yourself. If you are just assuming that just because you bought into a national franchise that somehow things will run themselves, you are in for a world of hurt and disaster. Every business requires you to be neck deep in it and to have your finger on everything and checking what's going on. That's your job at all times and you don't get days off on that.

    This project is more than a few days behind and that's not normal at all. Most contracts have time is of the essence clauses along with penalties for not meeting time deadlines in it. Check for that because....duh...time costs money. If you signed a contract without that....you are learning a very painful lesson about it.

    Yes I have been personally involved every step of the way.

    Signed contract June 2018
    Found a property a few months later. It had to be split because it was too big for my franchise.
    Started to work on a lease, then all of a sudden landlord backed out, didn't want to split the space.
    January 2019 found new space. Used a broker and drove around day and night. Found many spots but the Franchise company didn't like any until this one.
    took landlord 3 months to create a lease. Signed in March.
    Hired an architect took 2 months to create plans.
    Hired a general contracter.
    Submitted application for building permit May.
    Because my building in on the beach FEMA regulations come into play. Very complicated. Long story short my contractor was too expensive had to go cheaper.
    August 2019 resubmitted application with new lower priced contractor.
    Heard back in November from city. Because of FEMA calculations need to be a little different. My contractor is currently working on new application. Also need changes to architect drawings. She is currently working on changes.
    Just found out this week that I need to send drawings to health department myself. I thought city was doing this. I am waiting for new drawings from my architect. Health department by law can take 45 days to review plans.

    This is where I am at a year and a half later. Along the way I visited the city every few days. They kept saying they were short staffed and they would get to my application. Finally I called the mayor and we had a meeting on Tuesday. Believe me, it takes a long time when you are dealing with property on the beach. Its very complicated and there is politics involved. Because I never did this before I made many mistakes along the way. The franchise company has been very little help. You are basically on your own. They help with website and marketing and not much else sad to say.

    Now depending on health department things can go much quicker. Health department for Florida is 5 hours away from where I live. You can't speak to anyone when you call and visting is out of the question. Maybe they will do the review in a week, maybe 45 days. Who knows? I am trying to be positive but based on how things have been going with this project its hard to be positive. That is my question on here....how can I learn to think positive when so far everything has taken way longer than it should have? How can I stop worrying that the last of my money won't be eaten up by this taking several more months? I have exactly enough for 6 months. I have exhausted all of my savings, my 401K and my pension. I have one small college fund for my son left. I really don't want to cash that in. He is 15 so there is time to save again, but what if I finally open and my franchise isn't profitable? I have no guarantees. What if it takes a few months to get going?
    Last edited by LazyDaisy; 12-05-2019 at 03:51 PM.

  11. #10
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    So I would think that there are message boards and facebook groups for franchise owners -have you joined one or gone to in person meetups with people embarking on this process to get a better feel of what's normal where you live?

    You don't learn to think positive. Obviously if it was that easy to learn to "stop worrying" people would do it in a heartbeat.

    Here is what I suggest -aside from the good input you've gotten from a business/employment/financial perspective.

    Take care of your basic needs -enough sleep, increase water intake to 10 glasses a day. Cut out soda, fruit juices, alcohol and if possible limit coffee. Make sure you are moving your body briskly to get your heart rate up 30 minutes at a time -once a day -or at least 20 minutes. Can be walking, dancing in your living room ,running up and down the stairs, whatever. No need to go to a gym or buy anything other than make sure you have comfortable sneakers.Spend as little time a day sitting. My recommendation is if you choose walking or running get earbuds and listen to music or a podcast. Eat as healthy as possible -do not eat your feelings.

    Practice 4-7-8 breathing every time you feel negative thoughts or triggered -google the Weil method. When you feel overwhelmed by the "what ifs" force yourself to focus on what you are doing right then - whatever it is -are you washing a dish? scrubbing a floor? getting dressed? If you're sitting still doing nothing get up and notice your body moving. Move your body. Do not try to stop the negative thoughts - they will recede naturally into the periphery if you make a choice to focus on what is going on around you at the present moment.
    Make lists of the small, teeny-tiny goals you want to accomplish each day. Cross off each item as you do them.

    I think it's reasonable to worry about this franchise and your finances. But you can choose not to react to those worries and fears and stresses in a different way so that they don't overwhelm you. It's not about thinking "positive" - you can try "what is the worst case scenario" kind of thing but don't go all Pollyannish and "try" to tell yourself to "look at the bright side! at least I have my husband and son and health!!" -that's a short term bandaid. Just let the negative stuff exist but in a reasonable way so it doesn't stop you in your tracks. I gave you some suggestions as to how.

    On the business/financial front I think that you have to factor in a very long time before you will see a profit. So I would get a job ASAP until that time, have your husband help with start up stuff or even hire someone but get a job with a steady income.

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