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Thread: How to start something with a worker in a store?

  1. #1
    Member Expression's Avatar
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    How to start something with a worker in a store?

    How can I get a conversation going with a retail worker in a store when I am just a random customer among many?

    There is a very beautiful retail assistant at a book store I frequent whom I'd like to get to know, but I am at a loss to how to do so in that environment.

    The store is a large one in a major city with a lot of people traffic - other customers and other assistants walking around constantly.
    Buying something and getting to her if she's at the cashier seems too small a window, given the immediate transaction that needs to happen and the inevitable queue behind me.

    I can only see approaching her when she's on the store floor, in the guise of asking for help finding a book (like any customer). But what could I say beyond that to get a rapport going?
    As a customer, she would presumably help me as efficiently as possible and that'd be the end of it.

    My aim is not to ask her for coffee or get her number immediately, as that seems too forthcoming and uncomfortable in her place of work among her colleagues.
    And since she is at her place of work, it is unlikely that she'd have an extended conversation with me when she could be helping another customer.

    So I have a very limited timeframe to create an interaction that's memorable, where I'd be more than just another customer she served that day. Accomplishing that, I would intend to return on another day and continue eroding the customer/worker barrier.

    But since I visit the store regularly (even before she started), I'm wary that there is a fine line between looking stalker-ish/creepy vs. a welcome face, depending on the interaction...

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You just have to be bold. See if she can help you "find a book" and while doing that, have your number written on a piece of paper ready and hand it to her and tell her that you'd like to go for coffee sometime and if she's interested, to text you.

    That's literally all you can do in this situation without coming off as a stalker.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Dont keep going back, don't prolong it and keep showing up. Trust me, she and all her colleagues will notice and it will look creepy.

    Go in, ask her, and cross your fingers.

  4. #4
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Yeah this is a tricky scenario. On the other hand, you got nothing to lose, she is just a random retail assistant at a shop. So, just man up and take the direct approach before you end up hovering around her so much that it looks creepy.

    "Hey there, I noticed you shopping here a few days/weeks ago and thought you were just beautiful! Can I buy you a coffee some time? I'd love to get to know you."

    I know, easier said than done. But as I said, nothing to lose.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    You just have to be bold. See if she can help you "find a book" and while doing that, have your number written on a piece of paper ready and hand it to her and tell her that you'd like to go for coffee sometime and if she's interested, to text you.

    That's literally all you can do in this situation without coming off as a stalker.
    That is what I would I would do too .

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by MirrorKnight
    Yeah this is a tricky scenario. On the other hand, you got nothing to lose, she is just a random retail assistant at a shop. So, just man up and take the direct approach before you end up hovering around her so much that it looks creepy.

    "Hey there, I noticed you shopping here a few days/weeks ago and thought you were just beautiful! Can I buy you a coffee some time? I'd love to get to know you."

    I know, easier said than done. But as I said, nothing to lose.
    Don't do this. When guys gush over looks it's very cringy, and I can imagine she's heard a looks based compliment a lot.

  8. #7
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    Don't do this. When guys gush over looks it's very cringy, and I can imagine she's heard a looks based compliment a lot.
    It is honest though.

    Given OP has barely had a conversation with her, and it is difficult to engineer an organic scenario where he could have one, I don't see how he could say anything besides commenting on how she looks. I mean he could compliment something more specific like her hair/eyes/outfit... but it's all still superficial. Given the scenario here, I think being direct and honest is the best approach.

    The closest personal experience I have with this is where I asked a girl for her number towards the end of a group tour day-trip. I went with an anti-social friend, she went with some of her girl friends. I noticed her early in the day, but had no chance to speak with her cos my friend wanted go off just by ourselves all day. Eventually towards the end of the day, when we bumped into her group again, I offered to take her picture at a scenic spot, she declined, so then I asked her to help me take a picture of me at the spot... That broke the ice, and then I prompted said something like, "I noticed you right away as the prettiest girl on this tour, can I have your number? Let's go see a movie some time soon."

    Straight to the point, and on that occasion, it worked. She was out of my league, but probably surprised that I could be so bold. To be honest, it was a bit out of character for me, I've chickened out of similar situations before... but I thought, "well if I don't say anything, I will never see this girl again 100%... if I say something and she shoots me down, then the outcome will be exactly the same... and there is a chance, however small, that she will say yes... So nothing to lose."

  9. #8
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    Do ask for help with a book you want to read. Learn her name. Go back a few days later & ask her for help picking a gift for someone. Ask what she's into. Somewhere in there find out if she's single, as in not in a relationship. Go back a 3rd time & ask her for coffee on her break that day or after work. If that goes well then you can ask her on a date.

  10. #9
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    Don't do this. When guys gush over looks it's very cringy, and I can imagine she's heard a looks based compliment a lot.
    I agree. It would be off-putting to me to have a stranger comment on my looks.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Try for more conversation about a book, the neighborhood, whatever. Ask her to order a specific book for you and call you when it's in. Never walk up to someone in their work place and hit on them with "coffee, here's my number" etc. 100 guys a day do this to her and she will view you, not as an interesting guy, but yet another dude hitting on her.
    Originally Posted by Expression
    I visit the store regularly (even before she started), I'm wary that there is a fine line between looking stalker-ish/creepy vs. a welcome face, depending on the interaction...

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