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Thread: How to start something with a worker in a store?

  1. #31
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    D&D...gasp.

    He he.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    This is a toughie. What would I do? After asking her for help on finding what you need, I'd say: "I've been coming here for x amount of years (can mention the genre you normally read as the reason, or not), and it's the first time I've seen you here. How do you like it so far?"

    Then just listen and smile and if a brief conversation ensues, great, but do keep it brief because she needs to go back to work. I'd then say: I'm (name) by the way. I hope you have a great holiday season.

    And then I'd just go back to the store on your normal timeline. No more and no less. I'd leave the ball in her court to approach you.

    To add to the advice about telling a woman she's pretty and then ask her out. It's very redundant. Since you're a reader, you know about show don't tell. Of course we know a guy thinks we're pretty if he's asking us out. There's a right time to say certain things, and this is a time it's not right. Even when I was a teen and didn't have much experience in dating, I would avoid smooth talkers who so easily spurted those sorts of compliments, thinking how easily it rolled off his tongue. I figured he had a lot of practice. I went for more earthy types--guys who weren't so slick and aggressive.

    I'd try the route I've suggested for a while and see if she notices you on subsequent visits and waves or says hi and wants to talk more before diving in to give her your number, since I haven't known any success stories with this tact, although they might exist. I know that one guy said something fun to me at a Panera Bread to denote his interest. My ego was stroked, but he was not my type and I also had just started dating someone. I do know that my friend is now married to a man who sold her a car at his dealership and he asked her out, but that was different because it was his workplace and they'd spent several hours together before he asked for her number.

    It could be that she already has a bf or husband, so if you want a gf and have been having a hard time meeting women, try Meetup.com in the meantime. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by MirrorKnight
    It is honest though.

    Given OP has barely had a conversation with her, and it is difficult to engineer an organic scenario where he could have one,
    Goodness, what more organic can you ask or than being in the middle of a bookstore! It is one of the best places to try and talk to someone where there are infinite ways to not be creepy. Ask for a book recommendation - better yet, tell someone about a book you liked and ask what is similar. read the latest book reviews and new releases online. If the bookstore has "staff picks" and her name is on one, there is something to talk about! Its Christmas time, surely someone has a book on their list you need to find. I have been a customer and have had people talk to me (hey, do you see X title over on your side?") or if someone sees me look at a book "Have you tried the other cookbooks in that series? Would you recommend them for a kid/my mom/someone who hasn't tried the series).

    Even if you don't end up dating her, ts great practice!!

  4. #34
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    btw, when i was in my 20s, it would have been the ultimate dream for a bookworm to have met a guy at a bookstore and end up dating him. I was not into bars. And i DID go to bookstores often, especially ones that were open late. Be open minded - you might strike up a convo with another customer. Maybe it won't go further than that one conversation, but you never know!

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I used to work in a bookstore. If she's as young as I was back then it wasn't a big deal and quite flattering to be complimented. I never took it in a bad way and I got hit on by men and women (customers and coworkers). I was also making minimum wage and I doubt that's changed today for people working in retail. From my memories working at a bookstore, she's probably also inundated with a lot of existing questions already about whether books are in stock, what titles are coming out, what's the release date of so and so, where can I find this or that, what's your opinion on this as a gift et cetera. The last thing I'd have wanted especially in this busy christmas season are fake questions coming from a fake dude who just wants to hit me up and wastes my time asking 1001 questions that I already have to answer because it's my job... for every single customer. I remember I also used to work double time and double my shifts back to back to make up for the holiday season and coworkers on vacation. That meant long shifts sometimes because I also worked in receiving and started at 5am and then worked the opening and some of the afternoon shift. If that wasn't enough whenever there was a free moment, I'd pick up after the kids and the customers making a mess on an hourly basis.

    I'd still go the direct route. Mention you've seen her working the few times you've been there and would love to take her out for a coffee if she's not doing anything after work one day. I think the simplicity of asking someone out is lost these days. There's a definite allure for me when a person is more direct (no bs) and says exactly what's on his mind. People have lives and when you're asking someone out at work, you're already crossing a few boundaries. I wouldn't hover about it or create grand dialogues. Be respectful of that space and move on if it doesn't work out.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree. Unless she never gets asked out and is rather desperate, it won't be welcomed. Some women who can't get a date or a bf or even a compliment or second look from a guy may jump on the 'direct approach' but this doesn't seem to be the case here.
    Originally Posted by waffle
    Don't comment on looks, it's a turn-off. It's creepy and unoriginal and screams "I'm a player wannabe looking to get into your pants."

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