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Thread: How to start something with a worker in a store?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    TBH I never liked being hit on or asked out while I was working. Sure when I worked at a night club it was part of the job, but when I found a new job working in a warehouse, and a client hit on me asking for my number....it was down right embarrassing.

    The best thing to do is to strike up a conversation about what she would recommend to read, get her name/introduce yourself and develop a more of professional relationship first. Go in there again, wave say hi, don't forget to say her name, ask how she is doing, and tell her how much you enjoyed the book. Tell her she has good taste, and say you will ask her again next time you are looking for a good book to read. Then go about your business. Don't stand there like an oaf waiting for her to do something. Always keep things short, and on the upswing. Then disappear for a week before you show up again. Wash rinse repeat. Once you get a good rapport going (about a month or so). Hopefully by that time she is excited to see you, and that's when you ask her where a good place to go for coffee, then ask her if she would like to join you.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    TBH I never liked being hit on or asked out while I was working. Sure when I worked at a night club it was part of the job, but when I found a new job working in a warehouse, and a client hit on me asking for my number....it was down right embarrassing.

    The best thing to do is to strike up a conversation about what she would recommend to read, get her name/introduce yourself and develop a more of professional relationship first. Go in there again, wave say hi, don't forget to say her name, ask how she is doing, and tell her how much you enjoyed the book. Tell her she has good taste, and say you will ask her again next time you are looking for a good book to read. Then go about your business. Don't stand there like an oaf waiting for her to do something. Always keep things short, and on the upswing. Then disappear for a week before you show up again. Wash rinse repeat. Once you get a good rapport going (about a month or so). Hopefully by that time she is excited to see you, and that's when you ask her where a good place to go for coffee, then ask her if she would like to join you.
    - This is great advice.

  3. #13
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    I'm on the "be bold / direct approach" boat. Having said that I would not ask for her number in front of colleagues and clients. I'd feel awkward if someone did this to me. Very awkward and most likely uncomfortable. Giving her your number on a piece of paper is less intimidating. Preferably on the slowest of days that way she may have some spare seconds to chat to you. In my experience, retail assistants are chattier if there's a lull.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Try for more conversation about a book, the neighborhood, whatever. Ask her to order a specific book for you and call you when it's in. Never walk up to someone in their work place and hit on them with "coffee, here's my number" etc. 100 guys a day do this to her and she will view you, not as an interesting guy, but yet another dude hitting on her.
    I can guarantee you that no, there isn't 100 guys a day who do this. Why? Because it's anxiety provoking and it takes a lot of courage.

    But to keep returning to a shop over and over, is noticeable (in a bad way) and is creepy. It won't be received well and most often, it becomes unnerving and annoying for the workers as they will notice the same guy slinking in..again.

    You really do have the option to ask for a date or hand a number over or leave it. But to creep in over and over, won't be attractive.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Being a regular "customer" is NOT creepy. When you become a regular you get instant recognition when you walk in, faster service, extra perks, etc. Why? because you have established rapport.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    In my opinion is it.

    I have worked in retail and as a waitress. We did notice if the same gentleman showed up and was being flirty or staring or trying to talk to a certain worker.
    It's more than obvious.

    Most times it was embarrassing for the employee.

    Yes, if you go into a shop as a regular customer with no ulterior motives, than it's not a big deal. But some guy returning over and over and trying to talk to the same worker??
    That IS noticeable and it is creepy.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by MirrorKnight
    It is honest though.

    Given OP has barely had a conversation with her, and it is difficult to engineer an organic scenario where he could have one, I don't see how he could say anything besides commenting on how she looks. I mean he could compliment something more specific like her hair/eyes/outfit... but it's all still superficial. Given the scenario here, I think being direct and honest is the best approach.

    The closest personal experience I have with this is where I asked a girl for her number towards the end of a group tour day-trip. I went with an anti-social friend, she went with some of her girl friends. I noticed her early in the day, but had no chance to speak with her cos my friend wanted go off just by ourselves all day. Eventually towards the end of the day, when we bumped into her group again, I offered to take her picture at a scenic spot, she declined, so then I asked her to help me take a picture of me at the spot... That broke the ice, and then I prompted said something like, "I noticed you right away as the prettiest girl on this tour, can I have your number? Let's go see a movie some time soon."

    Straight to the point, and on that occasion, it worked. She was out of my league, but probably surprised that I could be so bold. To be honest, it was a bit out of character for me, I've chickened out of similar situations before... but I thought, "well if I don't say anything, I will never see this girl again 100%... if I say something and she shoots me down, then the outcome will be exactly the same... and there is a chance, however small, that she will say yes... So nothing to lose."
    I can tell you don't have much experience with females.

    Commenting on looks comes off sleazy. Guys do it often with me, and it's not flattering, regardless of how attractive they are lol. If someone said that to me I would not have agreed to a date.

    He can find something else to talk about.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Don't think about it so much. Just ask her for a coffee. The whole eroding the customer/worker barrier is insidious and way too deep, if you don't mind me saying. This is a simple meet and greet. Don't overthink it.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    In my opinion is it.

    I have worked in retail and as a waitress. We did notice if the same gentleman showed up and was being flirty or staring or trying to talk to a certain worker.
    It's more than obvious.

    Most times it was embarrassing for the employee.

    Yes, if you go into a shop as a regular customer with no ulterior motives, than it's not a big deal. But some guy returning over and over and trying to talk to the same worker??
    That IS noticeable and it is creepy.
    If you read my post, I stipulated that he have a "professional" rapport with her. Nothing about being flirty, hitting on her. Just be an appreciative customer.

    I get it I have been hit on a my jobs too, and it's annoying. I do have clients that specifically ask to deal with me....nothing creepy about that if someone likes your good service.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I would ask for a book recommendation on whatever topic interests you. Then I would ask if she would like to discuss the book over a coffee or dessert.
    And count me in with those who say do NOT say anything about her beauty or whatever. That's so superficial.

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