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Thread: BF Has Trust Issues

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by TeeDee
    Acknowledge his fear but try to gently remind him that you are not those other women. You can't promise you won't leave. Nobody knows what the future hold but reassure him in the here & now you are staying put, you like him & you want this to work.
    Yes, if she were his therapist or mom that would be a great response -that's what therapy is for - so he can have someone acknowledge what he is feeling and so he can be guided to a place where hopefully he decides on his own it is an irrational fear and self-sabotaging. It's inappropriate for her to say this again since she's already tried to "reassure" him. And a huge waste of time.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Yes, if she were his therapist or mom that would be a great response -that's what therapy is for - so he can have someone acknowledge what he is feeling and so he can be guided to a place where hopefully he decides on his own it is an irrational fear and self-sabotaging. It's inappropriate for her to say this again since she's already tried to "reassure" him. And a huge waste of time.
    Totally agree. She should not be doing this. She should be ending this, not coddling his insecurities.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Yes, you donít date people with unresolved baggage.
    - Figure nailed it. This man has anxiety or excess emotional baggage from the past. He would need counseling, you can't fix him.

    However, if it's not too bad and does not impact the relationship seriously, it might be okay? I would suggest trying not to worry about things you have no control over.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    - Figure nailed it. This man has anxiety or excess emotional baggage from the past. He would need counseling, you can't fix him.

    However, if it's not too bad and does not impact the relationship seriously, it might be okay? I would suggest trying not to worry about things you have no control over.
    But she does have control over it. She can choose not to interact with a person with those issues. And there is no relationship yet -she's been dating him for five minutes I mean a month. She knows about her socks' unresolved issues/holes/mismatched qualities more than she does about this guy. But she does know he's already raising serious concerns about whether she's going to betray him. And she can choose to walk away. Total control.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    - Figure nailed it. This man has anxiety or excess emotional baggage from the past. He would need counseling, you can't fix him.

    However, if it's not too bad and does not impact the relationship seriously, it might be okay? I would suggest trying not to worry about things you have no control over.
    This will only get worse.

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