Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 34

Thread: Never asks me about me?

  1. #1
    Bronze Member dizzygirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Northhampton
    Posts
    129
    Gender
    Female

    Never asks me about me?

    So I met a guy of a dating site and he seems fine but heís never asked me anything about me. He even banged my ICD the other week and never asked my why I have it? I asked him how come he doesnít want to know anything about me and he says, no rush heíll find out in time, Is this a red flag?

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Florida Panhandle
    Posts
    790
    Gender
    Female
    He banged your ICD? I'm afraid to ask.

    Yes, it's a bit of a red flag when someone doesn't ask about you and talks mainly about himself.

  3. #3
    Bronze Member dizzygirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Northhampton
    Posts
    129
    Gender
    Female
    Just find it a bit strange, Iíll give it another week and see.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,731
    I'm impressed that you actually asked him... that said, it would seem he isn't being completely honest with you.

    Typically people find themselves and their thoughts, feelings and stories more interesting than they do other people's. Listening actively takes skill, patience, and empathy... and typically these things will come more naturally to some than they do to others.

    This is emphasized even more if the one doing all the talking happens to be an extrovert while the other is an introvert.

    I ran into this all the time when I was dating... guys that would go on and on about themselves, never asking me a single question about myself. I mean I am good with people that like to talk, as I am an introvert and I find that it takes the pressure off, but to never ask me one thing or show any interest in getting to know me? Big red flag. I always sent them to the "next" pile.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,818
    Gender
    Male
    Have you arranged to meet in person?
    Same guy? [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by dizzygirl
    He even banged my ICD the other week and never asked my why I have it?

  7. #6
    Bronze Member dizzygirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Northhampton
    Posts
    129
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Have you arranged to meet in person?
    Same guy? [Register to see the link]
    I have met him 5 times in the last two weeks, he does take an interest in me and always calls be to see how my day is going, we had a cuddle thatís when he caught my S-icd. We havenít slept together, Iím not making that mistake again until I feel 100%. On the 2nd date I did warn him that I will be asking him lots of questions and some I didnít like the answer to, but not bad at all. Heís been very honest.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    10,058
    Gender
    Female
    Is it possible that you are talking so much that you are pretty much bombarding him with information about yourself unasked? You may not be conscious of it, but you might be doing it out of nerves, past baggage, coming across as super jittery and insecure, etc. It might be showing like a red flag, so he is telling you straight up that he is in the wait and see what shakes out mode. In other words, he is either waiting on you to calm down or waiting to see if your actions and words match up, or both.

    I've been on many dates like this where the date talks so much, you can't get a word in edgewise and then they suddenly ask why I'm not asking them anything. Brutally honest answer would be "because you won't shut up long enough".....but you know....that's quite rude, so you gloss over it with something more benign. Still comes down to the same thing - waiting to see what you might be like once you calm down....if you'll calm down.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,818
    Gender
    Male
    Ok just take it slowly and relax. If you're ok with the device he should be fine. Is that what you are so self-conscious about him asking about or think he should be the one asking?

    There is much more to communication than texting or questions/answers. For example demeanor, actions, attitude, etc will tell you a lot more that trying to rush the get-to-know-you process with too many questions.
    Originally Posted by dizzygirl
    I have met him 5 times in the last two weeks, he does take an interest in me and always calls be to see how my day is going, we had a cuddle thatís when he caught my S-icd.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 12-02-2019 at 01:28 PM.

  10. #9
    Silver Member BecxyRex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    329
    Gender
    Female
    What happens when you talk about stuff and instead of waiting on him to ask you a specific question, you volunteer some info that fits the topic? Does he listen or interrupt to talk more about himself? I find organically talking about something when it comes up a little more relaxed than questions-answers.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,631
    What the heck is banging ICD?

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •