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Thread: What is love?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Love is respect. Love is kindness and being unselfish. Love is being a conscientious and empathetic person. Love is being a decent, honorable, moral human being. Love is treating other people right.

    Love is not only saying "I love you." Love is backing that word through your actions and everyday, consistent, habitual behavior.

    Love is about core values. It's the key to compatibility.

    Anything else is a struggle and doomed for failure. Love is being in lockstep.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Love is everyday behavior.

    Between two people, love is conscientious mutual respect, kindness and consideration.

    Love is trust.

    I'm very blessed and fortunate. My husband and I have everything I've mentioned and two great sons. I'm very lucky indeed.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dcris
    I want to preface this by saying that this post may be a bit all over the place. I just got off what I believe to be the last phone call with my now ex girlfriend. I'm 55, she's 50.

    I don't seem to know what love really is anymore. I thought I was in love with a girl I was dating for 5 months, but I felt awkward saying it. We seemed to have great chemistry, mutually attracted to each other...

    We both came scarred from past marriages, so I attribute a lot of my issues to that. She definitely has self esteem issues, which I have as well, but not as much as I used to.

    She recently mentioned that she was in love with me, and it seemed like saying "I love you too" was just the easy thing to say back, then it turned into an awkward pause. Then I tried to explain myself and it all got effed up from there.

    Things went downhill from there.

    I really want to see a counselor, but I really don't think I can afford the additional expense right now. So here I am.
    Sorry but it's not your time to be in love. We hang onto something desperately when we have been so lonely, starving for that feeling of being whole again...but this wasn't it. Looking in from the outside, you both were in it for the wrong reasons, and so it falls apart. Disillusioned by hope, it hurts to let go. It was for the best even tho it feels like you have lost everything. Grieve, heal, grow, move on.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    If she ‘broke up’ with you over quite a small issue, that doesn’t really bode well for the long term anyway...

    If you struggled to just say ‘ILYT’ then you probably don’t....

    Definitely sounds like you are still harbouring wounds from the past though*

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
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    Some people have a hard time saying the words "I love you" but that doesn't mean they don't love the other person. Conversely, some people say "I love you" when they don't really mean it or it is still the honeymoon phase of the relationship. Love doesn't necessarily have to be expressed verbally...it is the actions that speak love more than words. The caring and thoughfulness. The little things that are done and said, the special glances and special touches. Love between two people can be felt even if "I love you" is not stated in words.

  7. #26
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    OP, would you take a bullet for this woman? If yes, then you love her. chi

  8. #27
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Crazyaboutdogs
    Some people have a hard time saying the words "I love you" but that doesn't mean they don't love the other person. Conversely, some people say "I love you" when they don't really mean it or it is still the honeymoon phase of the relationship. Love doesn't necessarily have to be expressed verbally...it is the actions that speak love more than words. The caring and thoughfulness. The little things that are done and said, the special glances and special touches. Love between two people can be felt even if "I love you" is not stated in words.
    Wow!!! CAD!! It has been forever!

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Wow!!! CAD!! It has been forever!
    Thanks Seraphim! Got busy with work. It is nice to be back!

  10. #29
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Crazyaboutdogs
    Thanks Seraphim! Got busy with work. It is nice to be back!
    I used to be Victoria66.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I tried to explain that I'm not sure what it means to be in love anymore. I thought I was in the past and I'm twice divorced now.

    Well, a person could actually have truly loved a person and divorced them because of a dealbreaker such as a partner cheating.

    What were the reasons for your divorces? Did you miss red flags about your partners? Or, did you fail to make the effort a husband should make in a marriage? If neither of these, giving us insight on the actual causes might help us give better advice.

    Since you can't afford therapy, try reading library books and articles on getting rid of toxic emotional baggage. There is even a library app you can download to borrow free audio books onto a smart phone or a computer. Getting rid of useless scars should give you better success for any present or future relationships.

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