Travel with an ex

my ex and I were together for a year and half. We broke up because i found out he was being inappropriate with his kids mother and he wasn’t truthful about a lot of things. We did not end on good terms. I was angry and I cut all communication with him because I felt betrayed and hurt. I didn’t block him but just ask him to not reach out to me again. Two weeks ago, after not speaking to him for 8 months, he reached out For the first time to invite me to a trip with another couple. I’m over him but i don’t know how I’ll feel when I see him in person because I really loved him. The conversation was brief and we only spoke about the trip and not us. I told him I’ll think about it and give him an answer by the end of the week. The next day he text saying “I really hope you can make it.” I’m thinking about going Because I had a stressful couple of months and really need an escape. Although we ended on bad terms he’s really a sweet guy and he’s a lot of fun. He just needs to mature up. I know its not going to be Any drama. I don’t want to get back together but I’m scared it might change if we end up spending too much time together. bad idea? Or just enjoy? I’m okay with us going back to living our lives separately once we get back home.

You're lonely, it's close to the holidays, you're thinking about his good sides, not bad.

It's pretty obvious what's going to happen.

The sad part is, you'll end up right where you were before. With a man who's not mature, not honest and not faithful.

It's always tough when a person is 70% Mr.Right and 30% Mr.Wrong,and the wrong is really wrong, but you want to keep hoping it will change somehow or the good will out weight the bad.

You've healed a great deal, it's seems like a really bad decision to walk right back into a situation where you know this person is no good for you.

People don't change that fast.

You’ve had a stressful few months and did nothing about planning a break UNTIL your ex called you?

My best guess is that he planned on going on that trip with another female who bailed on him. Hence the call to you.

Are you willing to be his plan B? Really?

Geez girl , if you want a break , book a solo trip or a trip with friends that actually care about you !

Why spend your annual leave with people you don’t know or care for and an idiot you do know?!

Unfortunately it seems he wants to keep the Fwb connection but not much more.

my ex and I were together for a year and half. We broke up because i found out he was being inappropriate with his kids mother and he wasn’t truthful about a lot of things. We did not end on good terms. I was angry and I cut all communication with him because I felt betrayed and hurt. I didn’t block him but just ask him to not reach out to me again. Two weeks ago, after not speaking to him for 8 months, he reached out For the first time to invite me to a trip with another couple. I’m over him but i don’t know how I’ll feel when I see him in person because I really loved him. The conversation was brief and we only spoke about the trip and not us. I told him I’ll think about it and give him an answer by the end of the week. The next day he text saying “I really hope you can make it.” I’m thinking about going Because I had a stressful couple of months and really need an escape. Although we ended on bad terms he’s really a sweet guy and he’s a lot of fun. He just needs to mature up. I know its not going to be Any drama. I don’t want to get back together but I’m scared it might change if we end up spending too much time together. bad idea? Or just enjoy? I’m okay with us going back to living our lives separately once we get back home.

I think that if you go, you need to draw a very strong line of friendship WITHOUT benefits and stick to it. Otherwise, you are at risk of getting hurt.

If you feel like you will cave into temptation, don't go.

Will you be able to resist WHEN he gets cozy and wants to be intimate?

Alternatively, can you HONESTLY be intimate with him and not have feelings?

Do you wish you two could work things out?

And I agree, if you had a rough few months getting into a potentially complicated situation with an ex isn't going to make things easier.

PS: could it be you're still upset over this guy and are looking for something to make you feel better? https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=562585

I think he's looking to get laid. I also think you'd be a fool to go on a trip with this guy when your relationship broke up so badly. Why put yourself in this position again? If you need a holiday go with a girlfriend.

That sounds like an exercise in torture. You will reignite feelings. You two will have sex. You will think that means something. You will be worse off then you are now.

If you want to travel go alone, with a friend, in a travel group . . . anyway that does not involve him.

Are his kids going? Will you be watching them? It sounds like you will be sharing a room. It's far from a free trip. There are clearly strings attached.. Go on your own vacation with a new man or friends.

For the first time to invite me to a trip with another couple. we ended on bad terms he’s really a sweet guy and he’s a lot of fun.

Seems very awkward and it's not as if he's great company either. How do you spend time and look at someone like that after the things he's done behind your back?

Is he paying for the entire trip? I can see the allure there. Make your own plans, I think. This guy shouldn't even be in your rearview mirror or anywhere on your radar. What a waste of space.

Sounds like an awkward trip at best or, probably worse, a traumatizing experience. What good can possibly come out of it, if you have no intention of getting back together? Even if you might still subconsciously harbor that idea, jumping from no contact to traveling together - and with "another" couple - is probably not the best way to get there.

If you need an escape, book a trip alone or with friends you can trust. Traveling with an untrustworthy ex is unlikely to relieve your stress.

my ex and I were together for a year and half. We broke up because i found out he was being inappropriate with his kids mother and he wasn’t truthful about a lot of things. We did not end on good terms. I was angry and I cut all communication with him because I felt betrayed and hurt. I didn’t block him but just ask him to not reach out to me again. Two weeks ago, after not speaking to him for 8 months, he reached out For the first time to invite me to a trip with another couple. I’m over him but i don’t know how I’ll feel when I see him in person because I really loved him. The conversation was brief and we only spoke about the trip and not us. I told him I’ll think about it and give him an answer by the end of the week. The next day he text saying “I really hope you can make it.” I’m thinking about going Because I had a stressful couple of months and really need an escape. Although we ended on bad terms he’s really a sweet guy and he’s a lot of fun. He just needs to mature up. I know its not going to be Any drama. I don’t want to get back together but I’m scared it might change if we end up spending too much time together. bad idea? Or just enjoy? I’m okay with us going back to living our lives separately once we get back home.

Foolish!

Why doesn't he ask the ex he was being inappropriate with?

Why would you want to go away with someone that treated you badly? Needing an escape isn't a reason to go away with someone that treated you badly IMO.

How about you go on escape with your female friends and leave your ex where you left him... out of your life and in the past.

Really sweet guys are inappropriate with other women, eh?

OP, at the risk of being blunt, you need to give your head a good shake. This trip is a terrible idea and he is not a sweet man.

Don't make excuses for yourself to go. It will almost certainly end badly for you.

Tell him to hit up his kids' mom if he really needs a female travel/bed buddy.

I can think of at least 100 people who I'd rather travel with instead of someone who has mistreated me.

Raise your bar.