My son is in love with a woman 20 years his senior

[SherrySher]

I agree, Batya.

Children must be guided and protected...that's our entire job as parents. If we can't or don't do that, then yes, we fail as parents.

[missusAshley]

I'm sorry, OP, but I agree with the other posters. You had your chance to end this and to charge her.
She knew he was under age, I absolutely refuse to believe otherwise.
There is no way a 30 something woman wouldn't know she was having sex with a 13 year old.

You were more worried about him not liking you then protecting him from this sick woman.
You cannot stop it now and you can't do anything about it now.

They are both adults and it is no longer not your business. When he was a minor, it was 100% your business, but it no longer is.

I do understand that people might have some strong feelings about a young boy with an adult woman, I did too, but my son is fine, he really is. Other than getting ready to marry this weird woman who has been in love with him since he was 13, that is.

He is a type 1 diabetic and his blood sugar management has never been better. He is probably one of the most athletic nerds on the planet, into sports and healthy living...His career seems on the upward trajectory and he loves his job. He doesn't let me speak to her alone since I tried paying her off once if she agreed to leave him, and now I am not allowed to talk to her when he isn't there and when he is there I am on my best behaviour, but he told me recently that she said she had been helplessly in love with him from the first time they met and she spent years tormented over it and feeling guilty and that she was done with the guilt. That he is an adult now and she will no longer apologise for loving him. He, of course, thinks it all terribly romantic, I think she is a terribly juvenile weirdo.

At the time I chose to not press charges trying not to make it her and my son against the world, I can only hope I've made the right call.