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Thread: My son is in love with a woman 20 years his senior

  1. #21
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    13 is NOT an adult no matter how mature they look. Physical development does NOT correlate to advanced emotional and mental maturity.

    She is a predator. Period.

  2. #22
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    I am shocked she didn't notice the lack of mental maturity , I mean at 33 how an earth can you even begin to be on the same lavel as a 13 year old ....a childs body might mature , sure , but their mind , their language , their interests ...worlds apart .

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    I am shocked she didn't notice the lack of mental maturity , I mean at 33 how an earth can you even begin to be on the same lavel as a 13 year old ....a childs body might mature , sure , but their mind , their language , their interests ...worlds apart .
    Exactly.......

  4. #24
    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    I am shocked she didn't notice the lack of mental maturity , I mean at 33 how an earth can you even begin to be on the same lavel as a 13 year old ....a childs body might mature , sure , but their mind , their language , their interests ...worlds apart .
    I actually asked her the same. She is a weird person to put it kindly. Perhaps I am being too harsh on her and it simply didn't go on for long enough for her to notice anything. She was operating under the impression that there was an 11 years age difference anyway, so maybe that threw her off...Mind you, she's a 41-year-old woman who never had children has been dating a 20 years younger teenager for last couple of years and she seems blissfully happy. She can't wait to marry my son. So yah, weird to say the least.

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  6. #25
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    I'm going to guess they didn't do much talking the first go round.

    A 17 year old former coworker started secretly dating the 33 year old wife of another coworker years ago. The relationship was a mess and fraught with conflict including her abortion and suicide attempt.

    Today they are happily married (about 18 years so far). They never had children.

    I know you want your son to be happy so I'm sure you're not hoping for a miserable marriage and a contentious, emotionally wrenching divorce for him.

    I'm sure this is difficult for you. I hope for the best for your family.

  7. #26
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I'm going to guess they didn't do much talking the first go round.

    A 17 year old former coworker started secretly dating the 33 year old wife of another coworker years ago. The relationship was a mess and fraught with conflict including her abortion and suicide attempt.

    Today they are happily married (about 18 years so far). They never had children.

    I know you want your son to be happy so I'm sure you're not hoping for a miserable marriage and a contentious, emotionally wrenching divorce for him.

    I'm sure this is difficult for you. I hope for the best for your family.
    I want my son to be with the best woman for him and to be deliriously happy. He assures me he is both. Thank you for your reply. I appreciate the story with a happy ending as well.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by missusAshley
    @Batya33 My son started his own company at 12. He was making 3K pounds a month at the time he met this woman. I didn't want him to get emancipated at an early age. It has nothing to do with me not wanting to cross him. Your son is ten and I hope once he starts puberty and adolescence you have it much less turbulent than we have had it, but my son at 12 was bigger and taller than most men ever are and he was sexually mature. With all do respect if you've never tried to parent a sexually mature 12-year-old than you cannot possibly imagine the challenges that parents of such kids go through. Regarding the woman, she didn't know he was 13 and once she realised he was a child she left him. I did not feel it was moral to try and put her in prison for something she didn't do. She didn't realise he was a child and she wasn't the first adult convinced by my son that he is 21/22.
    Your story doesn't make a lot of sense to me - I mean factually - and that plus your defensiveness means I have nothing more to contribute- once you required people to state their age it now becomes clear to me that you insist that unless someone was in your exact situation they cannot give an opinion -so why ask in the first place? you wrote "What should I do? Please state your age, I'd want to have some idea of the age of the people who are giving their input." - So you asked and I gave my opinion and complied with your request to provide my age. FWIW I don't think it matters a bit what he physically looked like at 12 or whether he started his own company or whether he lied. If only someone in your particular situation -in your opinion - can provide an opinion why ask for just our ages -how about 'please only respond if you parented a boy who was sexually mature and big for his age and started his own company and lied about his age".

    I didn't suggest putting her in prison -I suggested notifying the authorities if your son would not cut things off or could not cut things off.

    Best of luck with your adult son and his adult fiancee from here forward. I don't believe you wanted to know what you should do. You wanted validation and reassurance for your parenting decisions back then.

  9. #28
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    I get your timeline. Iím clear on that. It changes my point 0%.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    How did they even meet?

    Him being sexually mature doesnít make the relationship right. And frankly, itís insane that you didnít know about it or allowed it to continue if you did know...

    You had your chance 8 years ago. Now itís done. He makes his own choices.
    I agree with you.

  11. #30
    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    I get your timeline. Iím clear on that. It changes my point 0%.
    You don't seem to get the timeline. Otherwise, you wouldn't ask me how I could let my adult son date someone.

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