Breakup after 7 years, been through lots. Two questions. (huge post w/TL;DR)

I'm not sure how to explain my situation without typing for hours on end but I'll try giving a breakdown of what's currently going on. My boyfriend and I had been together for 7 years, and we've been through a lot together. We're both 25, so we got together when we were in our late teens.

Our relationship hit off like a textbook romance after being set up with each other by a mutual friend due to having similar interests. At first he was a little shy as this was his first serious relationship, but he ended up taking the risk and biting the bullet. Our relationship flourished and we enjoyed each other's company so much we were spending almost every day together. The cuddles were great, the intimacy was great and I was extremely satisfied sexually, emotionally and spiritually.

A couple of years in, and I started struggling with depression and anxiety. I've had big problems with these demons in the past, but at the time when I met him I was in a really good place mentally. I had recovered due to a combination of medication and intensive CBT and I was able to do outdoor activities with ease, however, they came back to haunt me and have ruined my entire relationship and destroyed my self-esteem. At one point, I felt I was dragging him down with me and I requested we go on a break. I wasn't going out on dates, I wasn't meeting his friends with him, I was staying in and allowing the illnesses to consume me. This break absolutely crushed him and I could tell, the poor guy had so much love to give and I, due to my self doubts, completely ruined what we had. During this break, I did something stupid and experimented with another guy. I did this because I wanted to check if I was missing my boyfriend or missing the closeness of another person. It turns out I really was missing my bf after all. I came to him and I was completely open with him about my experience, and felt ready to try it out again, but it had left him shattered. I don't think he has ever gotten over this experience to date, but despite this, he took me back at the time and we started working on our relationship.

After a while, again, my mental health issues strike. This time my anxiety takes over and I'm finding myself regularly admitted to hospital with severe panic attacks. He spent these tiring nights with me, stayed by my bedside every single time I was stuck in that damn hospital bed. He did his all to make me feel better in the moment. I started being very obsessive due to my high anxiety levels and if he was out with friends I'd constantly ask how long he would be or when he's coming home. I really wanted to be there with him too, and wanted to feel included, but didn't feel like I was able to. I also felt like I was smothering him with my constant questions.

We both LOVE gaming and we've gotten on well with each other due to it, we played almost every game together and enjoyed every minute of it. It is a hobby, a passion of ours. Although I started using this as my ONLY form of bonding time with him, as escaping the real world was super exciting for me and I started living in a fantasy world with him, rather than inside the real world. This obviously started to take its toll on the flame inside of him and he had expressed this to me, but me being ignorant to his needs thought "yeah we can try going out more when I feel a little better". I also had it in my mind I needed to feel "better" to even go out, when actually it was going out that would've made me feel better. I was stupid and couldn't see what I was doing until it was too late.

Now, 7 years in, he's exhausted and told me he has lost the spark. We were so deeply in love, and he does still love me as a person, he has confirmed this, but the flame is gone for him. I know a large part of this is the fact I have struggled a lot and not been able to create new memories or treat him the way a serious partner deserves to be treated, whilst him putting in a lot of effort to be a brilliant partner. Because he has been by my side through so many moments, I'm really desperate to improve myself to show him I can treat him better, but right now he doesn't seem interested. He said he wants time for himself to re-discover who he is and he wants to do that single. I'm obviously devastated and have been crying almost the entire week non stop, and I've tried reasoning with him and promising changes but he won't budge. The only thing he has agreed that I put forward is to focus on ourselves, avoid searching for other partners, and re-evaluate our personal changes and feelings in a month or so's time once our emotions have settled and we can think straight. (January at the earliest).

Now, I'm not stupid and I am very aware this might have been the straw that broke the camel's back. He at this point in time seems very set on wanting to be alone, so I'm trying not to pressure him into testing the waters with some significant relationship changes in place (going on dates, spending time outside together) and I'm just giving him this month to enjoy his time free and away from me.

I can't begin to describe how awful I feel when looking back in retrospect. I threw away the ideal partner for myself by being a stupid, ignorant person and forgetting he has needs too. I took his love for granted. He is a genuinely amazing friend and super loyal, I even would go as far to say I don't deserve him back. After everything he has done for me, and all he's helped me with, I personally wouldn't feel right shutting him out of my life, so that doesn't currently feel like a viable option. He's my only friend right now, my other friends have all moved a plane flight distance away and I'm unable to visit any due to costs. I have spent almost every single day of the past few years in his presence for multiple hours a day.

So, this all leads me to my two big questions.

1) How do I impress him enough after the month apart, prove to him I can change my ways, making him feel comfortable enough to try again?

I'm fully committed this time to changing for good, but I have promised change in the past when he's had a short few day breakups with me, but never given it enough thought or effort to make noticeable changes, so he would be finding it hard to believe me.

2) If he only wants to remain friends and is certain on that, how do I deal with this sensibly?

After being in love with him for 7 years and him being so important to my stability, I'm unsure if I could let go of those feelings, but I don't think I could cope without him being there.

Thanks for reading this whole post, if you got this far. I appreciate you taking your time to attempt to help me.

TL;DR

I was in my late teens and met the love of my life, he stuck with me through my deepest depression and highest anxiety. He sat with me in hospital every night I was admitted, comforted me and soothed me. I took all this for granted and didn't give nearly as much care and attention back without realising it, even when he pointed it out being an issue, and now after 7 years he's exhausted, lost his spark and wants to be single. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with it and have no one to turn to as my friends are all living hundreds of miles away from me now. We both share the same interests and hobbies, and have been able to enjoy each other's company in doing such things together. We've also spent almost every day together for years on end. How do I convince him to come back after our month break and prove it will get better? How do I accept his refusal to come back if that's his choice instead? I'm very stuck on what to do and need advice because if he doesn't give me a final chance to try reigniting the fire inside of him I'm never going to live it down. I don't deserve it, but I would do anything for him.