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Thread: Pregnant from my FWB

  1. #1

    Pregnant from my FWB

    Background information: I have been friends with this guy for almost 6 years. We worked together and would just hang out and chill all the time. He became one of my closest friends. We drank too much one night and ended up sleeping together 4 ish years ago, but we both really enjoyed it. It didn't make the friendship weird, so we just kept sleeping together every once and awhile. We don't live in the same area anymore, so about once or twice a year now one of us will go visit the other for a weekend. In between those, we have a pretty consistet communication, and sometimes we exchange nudes. We aren't exclusive. I've dated guys between our visits, and he's had hookups.

    More background: I love this man. I'd give up anything to be with him. My relationships never work out because no guy can be him. He's made it clear he cares a lot about me, but he's not looking to be in a relationship. Our relationship isn't just sex, we actually hang out and do a lot of fun stuff together and have pretty deep life conversations. I realize I'm the sad, pathetic one in the situation, and this makes him seen like a but there's always more to the story, right? It's just too much to type it all.

    Anyway, the real reason I'm here... We had one of our weekends a month or so ago. We rarely use protection, and I'm not on birth control. He just pulls out. I've honestly wondered if I'm even able to get pregnant because I'm just generally careless about using protection of any sort. (I'm not here for a lecture, I realize this is my fault for being careless). Turns out I can get pregnant. THIS WAS NOT PLANNED. I repeat, I'm not a crazy person that would purposely try to get pregnant to rope a guy into committing to me. I promise. And let's skip all the "here are your options" talks because I'm keeping the baby. I have a very nice paying job, supportive boss and family, and one of my best friends has a nanny service in her home with her own 4 kids, so I'm not worried about childcare. I'm terrified of pregnancy. I'm terrified of being in charge of another human's life. I'm scared of the young, single mom stigma from society. So I know this won't be an easy walk in the park kind of thing. I just know I'm keeping the baby.

    I haven't told him yet. I honestly can't decide how he'll react. It'll either be a ghosting situation or he'll want to get together. I've met his mom a few times, and I know she'd want to meet the baby. She's literally had conversations with me about how I should convince him to have a baby with me so she can be a grandma. She'll probably be the happiest person in this situation. He's in the army, so having him be in the baby's life would mean me moving to him, which wouldn't be horrible because I've lived in that area before.

    I know this doesn't sound tragic, but I'm just looking for advice on how to tell someone about this. He's gonna freak and suggest abortion, which I just can't do (again, not interested in hearing your opinion on abortion). Is texting too informal? Honestly we usually just Snapchat or Facebook each other, so a phone call would make it weird.

    I like to have a plan with all possible outcomes prepared for.. Can someone lay out some scenarios for me? Worst / best cases .. Has anyone been in any similar situation?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Iím sorry you didnít get a reply, this isnít a very active subsection. What did you end up doing?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Just tell him what you wrote here. You're pregnant, keeping it and you think it's his.
    Originally Posted by Liljcutie
    We aren't exclusive. I've dated guys between our visits, and he's had hookups. I've met his mom a few times, and I know she'd want to meet the baby. She's literally had conversations with me about how I should convince him to have a baby with me so she can be a grandma. He's gonna freak and suggest abortion.

  4. #4
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    You need to tell him.

    you need to tell him. you need to tell him you are keeping the baby.
    I think you should go visit him in person and tell him in person. No snapchatting.
    If he's deployed somewhere and he can't meet you, figure out a time when he has some private time to talk to him on the phone.

    Do not be attached to an outcome. The main thing is he is in the child's life and if he wants to be in a relationship with you, that's the best. But you can't attach to the outcome. And when you tell him, give him a chance to percolate. Don't ask for an immediate answer about what he wants to do as far as your relationship.

    In the meantime, you need to drop all other guys and focus on your pregnancy and child.

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  6. #5
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    whooops i didn't realize this was old...

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    She's literally had conversations with me about how I should convince him to have a baby with me so she can be a grandma.
    Then she's as irresponsible and foolish as you and your FWB are.

    As for your question: You say, "Hey, that last hook up ended with me being pregnant" what are your thoughts on that. Then you let him talk. No matter how it ends up, he owes his child monthly child support. Since you lax in general with your sexual health/safety you should tell your doctor so he can make sure you're STI free because some of those nasties can affect your baby before and during birth.

    Since this is from November... What did he say when you told him?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    We missed her :( She hasn't logged on since early December.


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