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Thread: Most confusing story

  1. #11
    Really kind words *ThatwasThen* and I appreciate them a lot. I do absolutely see my own short comings and where I need to fix and while working through this I've stepped back from certain things in my personal life in order to get myself right, I need a lot of work and I'm afraid of putting in the effort in doing so because I have so much to do. I know mentally I'm tough but I've found each hit mark me more than the previous and I don't want to depend on being mentally tough and just repeating the same cycle over and over as I know it could eventually be detrimental to my mental health as it's easy to become isolated even within your own mind and a man as I am living alone and working and I look after everything as that's what I've been used to I've taken that also into my dating practices, I'll buy you that, I'll fix that, I'll take care of your child, I found whenever I asked about something I may like it was shut down and I'd accept it but that's not even normal, you have to be able to speak without fear.

    I'm most certainly stepping away from searching for my "one" for now, I'm going to figure myself out better than I have done and I've got other areas I would like to fix including career wise and I'm renovating my home in march those plans are already well advanced so maybe next year is a year for me, it can't hurt right 😊

  2. #12
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    It sounds like a great year ahead in which you are going to get to complete some goals and keep you busy which will help you get past this breakup. Time and what you do with that time gets you there.

    Of course if you need to sort it out more here, we are here to listen and hopefully give you some guidance along the way.

    Take care.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Sorry about all this.

    Lots of wise words hereódonít want to retread. What stuck out to me in your posts is a lot of frustration about ďpeople todayĒósome idea that people treat others as disposable, and so on. Iíd be mindful of that, since if itís a hypothesis youíre eager to confirm youíll keep investing in people who will confirm it. Trouble is what comes with that confirmation: hurt. Canít help but think some of that was at play in this whole scenario, right from the start.

    Think of dating, to put it in a crude metaphor, like car shopping. If you invest only in fixer-uppers that are barely running in the parking lot, you are very likely going to start thinking the world is filled with cars that can barely go from A to B, let alone a real road trip. But thatís false. Lots of great, functional vehicles out there of all makes and models. You just have to genuinely want one, rather than whatever you get from seeing if you can get a questionable one up and running again.

    You sound like a great dude. Sorry about this chapter, but keep embracing your inner-awesome. Youíre likely to find that a funny thing happens: youíll be drawn to the ones who are doing their own version of that, and naturally turned off by the ones who make less than awesome choices in their own lives.

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