Originally Posted by Lisa Love
Thank you everyone for your feedback I truly read each one carefully. I think if I had my families support I would of left a long time ago but the truth is I donít. When I would tell my mom whats happening she would just nod and say nothing at all. I call home very rarely now. Iím aware that Iím losing control but from now on Iíll keep my distance with him as much as possible and hopefully find a job to become self sufficient. I like the advice about talking my toddler for a walk I will try that. Thanks you all for your words of encouragement 🙏
Saying nothing doesn't mean lack of support, it's more likely that she is leaving you to make a decision. Too often, when people are in a bad situation, speaking up and urging them to leave has the opposite effect - they'll become defensive. It's possible your mom simply fears to speak up so that she doesn't push you in the wrong direction. It would be different if she urged you to work things out, stick it out, etc. If she isn't doing that, you might have more support than you realize. Bottom line being that if you want help, you will need to spell out for people in your life what it is that you need from them and how they can help you. They can't read your mind and what you need from them.

That said, definitely work on becoming self sufficient. Also, quietly consult with a divorce lawyer or two. Pick the best and have a consultation. Learn your rights. Most consultations are free. If not, pay cash so your hubby doesn't get wind of your plans to leave. You have no idea how he may react or how vindictive he'll try to be. Get educated so he can't gaslight you.

Finally, for your own sanity, don't bother trying to please someone who refuses to be pleased. He is abusive and he means to be just that. Only defense and response to that is grey rock. Look up that term. It's basically zero reaction. You have to distance yourself emotionally completely and go into neutral mode. Make no mistake about it - when someone goes out of their way to criticize you no matter what you try to do, they are intentionally toxic to you and if you continue on with them, they'll wreck your life. Time to quietly create an exit plan and start executing it.