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Thread: My feelings for my friends are disturbing me

  1. #1

    My feelings for my friends are disturbing me

    So my concern is that I think I developed feelings for my friend... We only know each other for 3months but we always stay together like a sister and a brother always making fun of each others and laughing. We stay together all day everyday since we attend the same college. Everybody at college wants us to date because we always together. I really never thought of him as something more than a friend but he confessed me that he has a crush on one of my friends a month ago. I didn't really feel bad at first. I was actually happy for him and did everything I can to get them together. I still do but as time went by I started to feel bad. He REALLY cares for her and is clearly in love. At the start she really didn't care about him even though I tried everything to make her feel interested but now she's starting to open up a little bit to him and they are spending most nights on the phone talking. I want to be truly happy for him but it just hurts. And I really hate myself for feeling that way. I will never do anything to split them because I care more about his feelings than mine. But I'm just scared that I'll be left alone. I don't know maybe I am just scared that I'll lose my friendship with him.

    I just want to be able to be with them and feel genuinely happy for them.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    central Florida
    You should be expanding your friendship pool and not relying on him so much for daily get togethers. Male/female best friendships at your age are common but not meant to last too long because when one of you gets a gf/bf, the friendship will be placed on the back burner. And now that you've developed a crush, it's even more reason to distance yourself and start hanging out more with other friends.

    Friendships aren't guaranteed to last lifetimes. Some do, some don't, and many often evolve into very different animals than how they started.

    If you're afraid to lose a friend, you're relying on him too much. When you don't put all of your eggs in one basket, it's much easier to move on if the friendship lessens or ends when you have a full support system of at least a handful of friends.

    If it doesn't work out with the girl, decide if you want to speak up about your own interest in him, as it's always better to risk taking a chance whether or not it pans out, unless he's always made it clear he doesn't see you in a romantic way. Don't worry about ruining a friendship, because like I said, the way it is right now isn't meant to last.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Ok all the time you are hanging out in the friendzone is fine but make sure you have time to date guys who want to date you. It's clear you wish to be more than friends, so pull back from this.
    Originally Posted by happy saddy
    he confessed me that he has a crush on one of my friends a month ago. He REALLY cares for her and is clearly in love. I want to be truly happy for him but it just hurts

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