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Thread: Introvert at work

  1. #1
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
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    Introvert at work

    So Iím rather an introvert, Iím definitely someone who keeps a bit of distance at work. Iím friendly and polite to my coworkers, never had any issues, senior managers really like me, I just donít talk about my personal life at work. We are a small team, we all work in this open office which gets hard for me sometimes. I crave like 10 minutes of solitude sometimes, as Iím either talking to my coworkers (works related stuff), or at phone with clients all day. There are days Iím less chatty than usual, just because I sort of need tor recharge my batteries. Iím very involved in everything work related, but if my coworkers chat about their pets, or the next holidays destination, I donít necessarily engage in these conversations all the time. Now thereís this coworker who is super bubbly and likes to talk a lot. We get along for most of the time, I needed to set boundaries in the past though as she wanted to talk all the time.

    So last week I was a little less chatty, and this coworker was concerned I was sick or something, I told her I was okay. The truth is I was okay, just a bit tired, a lot was going on, and all these social interactions at work were draining me. So I arrive at work today, and she starts asking me if Iím doing better and if everything is alright. I didnít appreciate that she was telling this in front of other coworkers, I mean the fact I was a little quiet last week didnít affect my work performance. I told her I was fine, and she said she assumed I was not okay. I told her again I was fine, and that thereís nothing to worry about, I just donít like how she makes a big deal out of the fact I was quietly working on something, and not having meaningless chats. I wasnít rude to anyone, I didnít cry at the office, I was just a bit low key. Iím tired of her asking me if Iím okay every time Iím not super chatty. It makes feel as if something was wrong with me.

    I just needed to vent, hope this makes sense, and perhaps Iím not the only introvert at work out there.

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I imagine it's pretty annoying for someone to do that.

    Perhaps you could say to her next time, "Sally, please stop asking me if I'm ok. If I'm ill, I'll let you know." And say it with a smile.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Can you wear headphones at your job?
    Originally Posted by kim42
    Iím either talking to my coworkers (works related stuff), or at phone with clients all day.

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    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    I imagine it's pretty annoying for someone to do that.

    Perhaps you could say to her next time, "Sally, please stop asking me if I'm ok. If I'm ill, I'll let you know." And say it with a smile.
    Thank you Sarah, sounds reasonable!

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  6. #5
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Can you wear headphones at your job?
    No, not really.

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    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Introvert at work

    As someone who might be the kind of person to ask if someone is ok or if theyíre doing better: it comes from a good place. I know when Iím not doing well sometimes I want just SOMEONE to notice. So I try and be that someone.

    Talk to this coworker on the side and tell them itís stressful when they keep asking.

    ETA: donít tell them youíll tell them if youíre ill. That seems like a lie to me. You wonít REALLY tell them, will you?

  8. #7
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    As someone who might be the kind of person to ask if someone is ok or if theyíre doing better: it comes from a good place. I know when Iím not doing well sometimes I want just SOMEONE to notice. So I try and be that someone.

    Talk to this coworker on the side and tell them itís stressful when they keep asking.

    ETA: donít tell them youíll tell them if youíre ill. That seems like a lie to me. You wonít REALLY tell them, will you?
    I know it comes from a good place, it's just that it's too much. I think she doesn't realize that not everyone is as bubbly as she is, and that if I am quiet, it does not mean I am depressed. I might talk to her if she keeps asking.

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    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kim42
    I know it comes from a good place, it's just that it's too much. I think she doesn't realize that not everyone is as bubbly as she is, and that if I am quiet, it does not mean I am depressed. I might talk to her if she keeps asking.
    Exactly. Sometimes 'bubbly' people are annoying when they don't understand that not everyone needs to exhibit rainbows and unicorns every moment. Of COURSE you won't tell her if you're ill, but it might make her stop asking.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Don't be a grump 😋😉 Just look busy and be polite to coworkers. Don't be short or rude by saying things like: "please stop asking me if I'm ok. If I'm ill, I'll let you know". Being snippy or unprofessional like that won't endear you to anyone. ☕🎃🎄Find a reason to be happy at work or after work. Think about Louis🐵

  11. #10
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Exactly. Sometimes 'bubbly' people are annoying when they don't understand that not everyone needs to exhibit rainbows and unicorns every moment. Of COURSE you won't tell her if you're ill, but it might make her stop asking.
    Thank you Sarah, I'm happy that someone understands me

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