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Thread: Introvert at work

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    I disagree, Catfeeder. It does not work.

    I can say that for sure, because I too have tried that approach. In my experience, all it does is invite people to bother you more.

    No, I don't see work as a "social" thing either. People are there for a paycheck, end of. There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep work professional and nothing more
    It does not make anyone "rigid" or "rusty".
    It means certain people have boundaries to which they are comfortable with and do not prefer to mix business with pleasure.

    Nothing wrong with it at all.
    No one should be shaming anyone for it, nor should anyone be forcing someone to do things they don't want to do.

    I also don't see anyone wrong with telling someone that you're fine but also letting them know that you prefer to be more on your own.
    Again, nothing wrong with it.

    People should be allowed to be introverts, at work or elsewhere...and no explanations needed.

    People have different ways, values, boundaries, things they are comfortable with and not comfortable with.
    The bottom line is for everyone to respect our differences.
    I agree and especially with your "bottom line" - I take time to feel people out -no, not by talking to them -by observing. So one of my supervisors is a very private person and I do my utmost to respect that in all my interactions with her even though I am chatty/tend to the bubbly -just not with her. There are people who prefer to meet with me in person and others with a strong preference for e-mailing. I work with someone who shared with me that her father is very ill. I observed how much information she shared (not everything but actually quite a bit) and she told me she was going out of town to spend time with him. So, a week later, as part of a work related email I inquired about how she/her father was doing but not in a prying/pushy way. I spent time crafting that part of the email so that I ht the right tone. She was appreciative of the concern and shared some of what had occurred. I feel it's important that if things delve into the more personal to let the person who is sharing take the lead in boundaries/how much AND not to share too much of your own personal stuff because to me, in most work environments, that can feel overwhelming/uncomfortable to the listener.

    I don't think workplaces have to be social. They do have to be polite/civil/courteous. But if you do choose to be social sometimes it can be challenging to cherry pick. So if in your example you have lunch with male coworkers that might give the impression that you are more open to chatting/socializing/ your health being inquired into, etc. So it's a balance. Good luck and i can imagine that you must be frustrated with the "interrogation" into your emotional health.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    They do have to be polite/civil/courteous
    Absolutely. Never an excuse for not having manners, at the very least.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    I disagree, Catfeeder. It does not work.

    I can say that for sure, because I too have tried that approach. In my experience, all it does is invite people to bother you more.

    No, I don't see work as a "social" thing either. People are there for a paycheck, end of. There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep work professional and nothing more
    It does not make anyone "rigid" or "rusty".
    It means certain people have boundaries to which they are comfortable with and do not prefer to mix business with pleasure.

    Nothing wrong with it at all.
    No one should be shaming anyone for it, nor should anyone be forcing someone to do things they don't want to do.

    I also don't see anyone wrong with telling someone that you're fine but also letting them know that you prefer to be more on your own.
    Again, nothing wrong with it.

    People should be allowed to be introverts, at work or elsewhere...and no explanations needed.

    People have different ways, values, boundaries, things they are comfortable with and not comfortable with.
    The bottom line is for everyone to respect our differences.
    In the broadest sense, working with others is a social agreement, regardless of whether or not we make it personal.

    We each get to decide the degree to which we wish to integrate socially into the workplace. This is not the same thing as forming personal relationships, it's a choice of how well we wish to navigate our professional relationships in a social business environment.

    We can handle our exchanges with kindness as we consider them part of routine business, and we can become better at that over time, or we can allow simple exchanges with coworkers to derail us and become barriers to our focus and peace of mind.

    The choice is up to each of us to make for ourselves.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Recognize she痴 trying to be nice and either accept it or communicate that you need something else. Otherwise she will keep doing it.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Just my take on it, I tend to think with people like your coworker, it's less about her being concerned for you and more about her being uncomfortable with people keeping to themselves. She just wants to engage.
    I tend to use humour and put it back in their direction. She really just wants you to pay attention to her!

  7. #26
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Introvert at work

    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    Just my take on it, I tend to think with people like your coworker, it's less about her being concerned for you and more about her being uncomfortable with people keeping to themselves. She just wants to engage.
    I tend to use humour and put it back in their direction. She really just wants you to pay attention to her!
    That痴 not how I am :/ if people keep to themselves, I leave em alone. If they seem sad or otherwise distraught, I ask them about it.
    Last edited by mustlovedogs; 11-27-2019 at 09:46 PM.

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