Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 26

Thread: Introvert at work

  1. #11
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    1,555
    Gender
    Female
    hey I totally understand how draining it can be. I work with a lot of people with different personalities, quirks, and dysfunction.....and man it can be stressful. Sometimes I go hide elsewhere in the warehouse in the mornings to avoid the nonsense.

    My advice: just pull her aside and explain that if you seem quiet or distant, it doesn't mean you are having a bad day, just that you like to be your alone with your thoughts. It helps you to decompress, so you can focus on your tasks. It's just something that you need to do.
    I'm sure she will tone it down and be more respectful once you explain things to her. You see if you don't communicate, then nothing will ever change. It only takes one simple conversation.

  2. #12
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    272
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Don't be a grump 😋😉 Just look busy and be polite to coworkers. Don't be short or rude by saying things like: "please stop asking me if I'm ok. If I'm ill, I'll let you know". Being snippy or unprofessional like that won't endear you to anyone. ☕🎃🎄Find a reason to be happy at work or after work. Think about Louis🐵
    I don't think I'm grumpy, as I said I'm polite to everyone at work, I'm just more introverted than my bubbly coworker

  3. #13
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    272
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by smackie9
    hey I totally understand how draining it can be. I work with a lot of people with different personalities, quirks, and dysfunction.....and man it can be stressful. Sometimes I go hide elsewhere in the warehouse in the mornings to avoid the nonsense.

    My advice: just pull her aside and explain that if you seem quiet or distant, it doesn't mean you are having a bad day, just that you like to be your alone with your thoughts. It helps you to decompress, so you can focus on your tasks. It's just something that you need to do.
    I'm sure she will tone it down and be more respectful once you explain things to her. You see if you don't communicate, then nothing will ever change. It only takes one simple conversation.
    Thanks Smackie, great advice, I should talk to her if I want something to change. The reason I didn't talk to her yet its because she makes a big deal out of everything.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    6,244
    Hey Kim :)

    I am in the same boat as you, an introvert. I do not like small talk and I keep work strictly professional. My social life (friends) and work (in my opinion) are two seperate things and I like it that way.
    No need to apologize for it, no need to allow anyone to ever make you feel odd or weird about it.

    I would say to this woman, "Yes, Sue, I am doing just fine, thanks for asking. If it changes, I will let you know". In hopes that she would back off.
    I don't like pushy people either and although her intentions might be good, she is being pushy.

    Crossing fingers for you that she starts to take interest in someone else and lets you be.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    272
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Hey Kim :)

    I am in the same boat as you, an introvert. I do not like small talk and I keep work strictly professional. My social life (friends) and work (in my opinion) are two seperate things and I like it that way.
    No need to apologize for it, no need to allow anyone to ever make you feel odd or weird about it.

    I would say to this woman, "Yes, Sue, I am doing just fine, thanks for asking. If it changes, I will let you know". In hopes that she would back off.
    I don't like pushy people either and although her intentions might be good, she is being pushy.

    Crossing fingers for you that she starts to take interest in someone else and lets you be.
    Hi Sherry :)

    Thank you so much, the word pushy describes exactly how she behaves. She can be really nice sometimes but probably doesn't understand how introverts function. At least now I know how to approach this.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    22,652
    Gender
    Female
    I'm also an introvert, and one trick that has spared me such concerns in the first place is to make a regular habit of flashing smiles and swift hellos to everyone I pass. It's behavior that costs me zero in terms of time or effort and has become habitual with practice. During times when I'm stressed or preoccupied it's still effortless enough to serve as a privacy mask, and it's so automatic, I don't really even need to be 'there' for it, it just happens.

    That said, I really don't really view it as any skin off my back to appease anyone who is thoughtful enough to ask about me. I don't indulge them in anything beyond, "Thanks for asking, I'm good. Busy and focused, but otherwise good. How about you, are you okay?"

    While in most cases the responses are equally as quick as my own, if it happens that someone wants to nail me down to talk about how they are, then I consider that a rare enough occurrence to just pay my dues as part of the cost of doing business. Not everything is about ME. I can be generous enough to indulge others in a little kindness now and then. It prevents me from turning rusty--and rigid.

    It also helps me to consider that work is not a therapeutic environment, but it IS a social one. There's a difference between being introverted versus being antisocial. It only behooves me to adopt the resilience to play nice in the sandbox with all of the other people, who, incidentally, don't 'owe' me any catering to sensitivities that their otherwise social and caring nature may not be aware of.

    So instead of having any 'talks' that attempt to scold Ms. Nosybody, the best way to dissuade her from latching onto you with concern is to reassure her kindly, with a smile, and with gratitude for her efforts to let you know that she cares.

    Head high, but not too high. ; )

  8. #17
    Bronze Member kim42's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    272
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    I'm also an introvert, and one trick that has spared me such concerns in the first place is to make a regular habit of flashing smiles and swift hellos to everyone I pass. It's behavior that costs me zero in terms of time or effort and has become habitual with practice. During times when I'm stressed or preoccupied it's still effortless enough to serve as a privacy mask, and it's so automatic, I don't really even need to be 'there' for it, it just happens.

    That said, I really don't really view it as any skin off my back to appease anyone who is thoughtful enough to ask about me. I don't indulge them in anything beyond, "Thanks for asking, I'm good. Busy and focused, but otherwise good. How about you, are you okay?"

    While in most cases the responses are equally as quick as my own, if it happens that someone wants to nail me down to talk about how they are, then I consider that a rare enough occurrence to just pay my dues as part of the cost of doing business. Not everything is about ME. I can be generous enough to indulge others in a little kindness now and then. It prevents me from turning rusty--and rigid.

    It also helps me to consider that work is not a therapeutic environment, but it IS a social one. There's a difference between being introverted versus being antisocial. It only behooves me to adopt the resilience to play nice in the sandbox with all of the other people, who, incidentally, don't 'owe' me any catering to sensitivities that their otherwise social and caring nature may not be aware of.

    So instead of having any 'talks' that attempt to scold Ms. Nosybody, the best way to dissuade her from latching onto you with concern is to reassure her kindly, with a smile, and with gratitude for her efforts to let you know that she cares.

    Head high, but not too high. ; )
    We all have to say a quick hello in the morning, it's part of our work culture, so I'm definitely not antisocial, I like having lunch or coffee with my male coworkers, it's not like I'd be at my desk all day. I appreciate your point of view, but the thing is that this coworker does not ask me if I am okay every now and then, she sort of keeps pushing for an answer (I'm sorry if this sounds rude, I don't how to describe it), and I already told her last week twice I was doing okay, so for me this level for caring is just too much. I don't want to be rude to her, or scold her in any way, I know her intentions are good, but it does make me uncomfortable.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    22,652
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by kim42
    We all have to say a quick hello in the morning, it's part of our work culture, so I'm definitely not antisocial, I like having lunch or coffee with my male coworkers, it's not like I'd be at my desk all day. I appreciate your point of view, but the thing is that this coworker does not ask me if I am okay every now and then, she sort of keeps pushing for an answer (I'm sorry if this sounds rude, I don't how to describe it), and I already told her last week twice I was doing okay, so for me this level for caring is just too much. I don't want to be rude to her, or scold her in any way, I know her intentions are good, but it does make me uncomfortable.
    I get it--it's about the repetition. Okay, with a smile, I'd say, "I appreciate your concern. How about if we just always assume that I'm okay unless I say otherwise?"

    If it STILL persists, rinse and repeat. Maybe with a laugh I'd add, "I'm not the team patient around here, am I?"

  10. #19
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    18
    I'm also an introvert so hear what your saying, there is nothing wrong with being comfortable with your own company as and when you need.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    6,244
    I disagree, Catfeeder. It does not work.

    I can say that for sure, because I too have tried that approach. In my experience, all it does is invite people to bother you more.

    No, I don't see work as a "social" thing either. People are there for a paycheck, end of. There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep work professional and nothing more
    It does not make anyone "rigid" or "rusty".
    It means certain people have boundaries to which they are comfortable with and do not prefer to mix business with pleasure.

    Nothing wrong with it at all.
    No one should be shaming anyone for it, nor should anyone be forcing someone to do things they don't want to do.

    I also don't see anyone wrong with telling someone that you're fine but also letting them know that you prefer to be more on your own.
    Again, nothing wrong with it.

    People should be allowed to be introverts, at work or elsewhere...and no explanations needed.

    People have different ways, values, boundaries, things they are comfortable with and not comfortable with.
    The bottom line is for everyone to respect our differences.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •