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Thread: Advice needed please.

  1. #11
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    I know I can't reach out to her because she was the one who chose this and walked away. She knows where I am if she wants to talk. It hurts to think I am forgotten and I am finding it extremely hard. I guess from your comment you think there is no chance she may reach out to me? I love this woman more than anything and I just wish I could show her how much this can work. Is 4.5 months too long? You don't believe she would reach out?

  2. #12
    Member PerkyGreek's Avatar
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    Rethink that last statement that she easily disposed of you. Did she? In any relationship trust is what makes or breaks it. Maybe you have reason to be jealous or maybe you have none. If you have reason to, then maybe you should look for someone else whom you can really trust. But if you have none, you need to mature a little more. I had been jealous when I first dated and it just messed everything up and pushed her away. I know scores of people who felt liberated when they left the jealous partner. You have to see it from their side, how suffocating it can be. It seems she is really over you. If she had to make up an imaginary date, that is just as bad. She really want to end it.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LonelyGuy201
    Thanks for your replies. It means a lot because I am struggling. I know it's probably too late but I still harbour hopes that she may reach out because I miss her immensely and I will never love anybody the way i do her.
    That kind of thinking is what is keeping you stagnated in hope. You have to let go of that hope or you will never heal and you will be one of the schmucks that come here telling us they are still hung up on an ex of 20 (or more) years ago. You WILL love someone BETTER than you loved her because you will have worked on your own jealousy issues (with the help of a therapist if you can't overcome through self help and introspection) and you'll be so much happier because you're not filled with anxiety and fear that she is with someone else when she's not with you.

    Time to stop romanticizing the relationship. If you look at it realistically instead of with those romantic goggles you are wearing, you will see that you were not with the right person. You need to heal and find someone who does not trigger your insecurities and if you find yourself feeling jealous, mistrusting, insecure of her devotion to you when she's not been showing you any suspect behaviour then its on you to get yourself into therapy to work through those negative feelings you harbour deep within.

    You will get over her if you stop the hope and you take her down off the pedestal you hold her on. You are not yet even at the stage of acceptance that its over and that is why you still hurt like you do. Time to accept.

  4. #14
    Member simple cure's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LonelyGuy201
    I know I can't reach out to her because she was the one who chose this and walked away. She knows where I am if she wants to talk. It hurts to think I am forgotten and I am finding it extremely hard. I guess from your comment you think there is no chance she may reach out to me? I love this woman more than anything and I just wish I could show her how much this can work. Is 4.5 months too long? You don't believe she would reach out?
    It sounds almost like you hope someone can give you a magic"cure" to ease how bad you feel. I understand, it does hurt. I have been there.
    It does get better over time.
    And it changes you. But, if you pull yourself together a bit, try to see, we all have experienced it sometime or other in life, it is part of the human condition.
    Maybe these things help us grow into a better partner ourselves so we appreciate it more when we have it.
    I bet next time you will not let so much time pass before trying to resolve a problem with your partner.
    It sounds like, from what you said, she was done.
    So I think, you can try to make peace with that.
    I don't know if she'll try to reach out to you. I don't have a crystal ball.
    But, I know if you don't think in terms of moving on, it can drive you crazy. And not allow yourself to heal

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I hope that "next time" you don't hook your star to a woman that "wants to help her ex boyfriend get over her." That there is a RED flag that tells you to back off and instead get with a chick that is totally over her ex and is ready to meet someone new because she's totally over the last guy, has learned from the relationship and is going to be open in mind and heart to be able to emotionally commit.

    No ex's hovering around in the background to be worried about at all.

  7. #16
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    Thank you for your replies.

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