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Thread: Guy Question

  1. #1
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    Guy Question

    my co worker and I spent the summer getting pretty close. Some of our coworkers think weíre dating, all of them think we like each other a lot - when heís in the office heís constantly at my desk, he even joined my sand volleyball team this summer. Heís always finding reasons to be at my desk or in the same places I am. Unfortunately, he put in his two weeks and is leaving our company. I donít have the guts to ask him out (and that wonít change), but I have told him several times I donít want him to leave and itíd be miserable if he left, heís also told me he doesnít want to leave bc he likes working here (but he has to). Iíve always gone by the rule of - if he wants to ask me out, he will. Am I wrong?

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    What does he mean he has to? Is he being forced out (poor performance review in the last review) for wasting time and chatting too much flirting with coworkers? Or does he have another job lined up (offered and accepted a position elsewhere)? Ie. Not jobless.

    I ask because your level of interest should be directly related to what kind of man he is (whether you care or not if he asks you out should be related to what kind of man he is). I don't think it's a good idea to think of starting any romance with a person who needs to work on him/herself. This means getting a career back on track or finding a job.

    Cajoling him into staying in this company tells me that it doesn't sound like you know him very well either. Otherwise you'd be supporting his choices if you felt he's capable of making sound choices in the first place. 1) you either don't know him very well or 2) he has a track history of not making good choices. Which one is it?

    What are his reasons for leaving the company?

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Stay in touch via social media. See what happens after he leaves. Do you know if he has a gf?
    Originally Posted by Rkriley
    my co worker and I spent the summer getting pretty close. he put in his two weeks and is leaving our company. I donít have the guts to ask him outIíve always gone by the rule of - if he wants to ask me out, he will.

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    He is leaving because he is being talk being advantage. I do support him leaving I just also donít want him to go.

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    He doesnít have a girlfriend nor does he have social media

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Give him your contact info so if he decides to stay in touch after he leaves, he can reach you.
    Originally Posted by Rkriley
    He doesnít have a girlfriend nor does he have social media

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rkriley
    He is leaving because he is being talk being advantage. I do support him leaving I just also donít want him to go.
    Let him go. If he doesn't have a job lined up or sounds confused about what he's doing he needs to figure himself out. You can leave your contact with him but if you've been hanging out all summer, he likely already has your cellphone number.

    I wouldn't get my hopes up with him because he needs to work on himself now that he's out of a job.

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    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    "Hey before you leave lets go for lunch or drinks after..." then give him your number, and say "keep in touch, maybe we can hang out sometime". If he doesn't take the bait, then there is something wrong with him, or is not interested.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Before he leaves exchange phone numbers and remain in contact. Ask to meet him for lunch sometime. Establish friendship first and get to know him better. You may or may not like everything about his personality and character. Observe, take good mental notes and take it from there. Be nice but tread cautiously.

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    I did this with a co-worker a few years ago that I ended up going out with a few times.

    Write your number on a piece of paper and say, before you go here's my number. Let's keep in touch :)'


    He ended up texting me and asking me out.
    You don't need to ask them out. I think it's better to leave it to the guy.

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