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Thread: Guy Question

  1. #11
    Silver Member LootieTootie's Avatar
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    Well if you think phone number is too close to comfort, ask him for his new work email address.

    The only reason why I suggest this is because I used to work with this guy. We always had great chemistry and there were attraction. We both knew we were both single but neither one of us wanted to make the move. Well right before he left he sent a mass email and gave everyone his new work email address. I bumped in to him years later at a grocery store and he asked why I never emailed him. I apologized and he laughed and said "I was hoping you would have emailed me so I could have asked you out."

    It was sweet and wow if I was single, I would have been so happy. Sadly I was with someone (who is now my husband) when we bumped in to each other. So if giving your phone number is too close to comfort, ask him for his work email address so you can keep bugging him.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Usually guys will make the first big moves so why should a woman risk rejection?

  3. #13
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    if he doesnít ask me itís obviously because he doesnít want to, right? I should take that as a huge sign when he leaves. He knows heís leaving and isnít going to see me anymore so if he really does like me or wants to keep seeing me - he will.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    Usually guys will make the first big moves so why should a woman risk rejection?
    if he doesnít ask me itís obviously because he doesnít want to, right? I should take that as a huge sign when he leaves. He knows heís leaving and isnít going to see me anymore so if he really does like me or wants to keep seeing me - he will.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok so you don't want him to stay in touch, or? What is it you want from him? Why can't you wait until he leaves? If he were interested, maybe he's too smart to make an overture at a coworker. Relax and learn to use better dating skills and "rules". Why don't you have a bf/dates outside of work?
    Originally Posted by Rkriley
    if he doesnít ask me itís obviously because he doesnít want to, right?

  7. #16
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    Do what I did. I figured I was never gonna see him again so I waited till my last day at the job. I didn't ask him out, I just said we should keep in touch and gave him the opportunity to do so.

  8. #17
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    Well considering he's leaving you don't have much to lose. If he rejects you, you probably can just never see him again! I would just say it's such a shame you won't see him around the office anymore and would he like to go for a coffee? Seriously if nothing happens you are no worse off than you were. I asked most of my partners out myself and some were long 2+ year relationships because they said yes!

  9. #18
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    Give him a farewell card or even a post-it note with your number and tell him you'd like to keep in touch, and let the cards fall where they may. If you're already connected on social media, now that the restrictions of dating in the workplace are removed, he might reach out without any more extra effort on your part. If you're connected through social media, you can write him and ask him how the new job is going and lament a little at how you miss your daily chats while wishing him well on his new adventure. Toss out the bait. You have to work a little for it. He's probably as confused as you are on the level of attraction and willingness to take it up a notch. Give him something...give him your number.

  10. #19
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    He informed me that he is staying at our job 🙂

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Rkriley
    if he doesnít ask me itís obviously because he doesnít want to, right?
    Not necessarily. It's a brave new world in once sense but it's a minefield for men who might want to date co-workers. In this era of #MeToo I can understand his reluctance to ask you out. In the back of his mind he may fear repercussions. Also men are sometimes afraid to ask out attractive women; they fear rejection too. Thus it can be incumbent upon the woman to make it really easy for the guy. I don't see you doing that. He may be clueless that you are open to a date.

    Originally Posted by Rkriley
    He informed me that he is staying at our job 🙂
    That is actually not good. If he informed management that he's leaving but then stayed they may view him as disloyal. Continuing to be co-workers IMO actually dampens the prospects that you will date. It's generally a bad idea to date co-workers.

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