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Thread: Not sure if I am making a big deal or not with coworker...

  1. #31
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Originally Posted by LootieTootie
    Finally with everyone's vacations and holidays out of the way, I finally had my one-on-one with my Managers.

    And yes you guys are right. I am personalizing it... way too much. Ugh...

    A lot has happened so I'll try my best to type this out.

    During the xmas holiday, I applied for a job and got interviewed. They called one of my bosses as a references (not T) and I did give her a heads up. I didn't get the job but apparently word got around. My boss is in a cubicle so apparently when she was on the phone, some of my coworkers overheard the phone call. One of my coworkers told me my boss gave them a rave review so that's good.

    M came by and talked to me same week and said he doesn't like that I am looking and he just needs a couple of months to train others before he can train me. I told him that I applied for jobs if I think I would really enjoy the challenge and experience, and don't worry it was not because of him. However he kept saying half-heartedly and half-jokingly "Give me time ok? I am busy with different projects and tasks but give me a couple of months... and I don't want to do your job too."

    After I got back from Christmas vacation, I have been quite busy with my own work. But I was able to go to my one-on-one meeting with a framework of what assignments/tasks I would like to do and which assignments/tasks I am willing to give away. I expressed to both managers I wanted to do more data analytics duties and I wanted to give away some of my lead capacity roles - portfolio acquisition and portfolio reconciliation (which can be painstaking and arduous). They asked who I felt could do those two roles and I told them I was hoping we ask the staff and see if anyone volunteer. They looked worried... Long story short, they think it's better if I give away my other lead capacities in website building/digital marketing because others would jump for those leads. Insert sad face.

    They also encouraged me on my next one-on-one meeting they want to hear ideas from me - ideas how to make more space for documentations, ideas in marketing to target audiences, how to streamline x and y, how to be a 21st century company, etc. So it sounds all positive.

    I also found out that M is going thru a tough patch too. Him and his wife have been separated for some time and during the holidays they were not together. The kids were with her. I think a lot of his just wanting to train his close friend only could have been a lot to do with needing a friend.

    Any way since the meeting, I've been feeling great because I stood up and said this is what I want to do. I feel kind of sad because it may mean I will be letting go of some duties I enjoy - website and marketing :(
    Well done, in terms of being up front with your management team & owning your choice and power to direct your path. Well done.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Originally Posted by LootieTootie
    Batya, Let me make this very clear....I was at HOME for a week-long Christmas time off when I looked and applied for a job.

    I don't have time to look while I'm at work. I take a 30 minute break if I am lucky to remind myself and I always leave a couple of minutes later. & Thank you for your solid advices. I needed perspective from you all and I realized I was unnecessarily internalizing things that are insignificant.

    CatFeeder, if I had a choice, yes I am with you. Sadly this job chose to call my current employer for reference, which was a disclaimer when I applied.
    You wrote that your coworkers found out because they overheard you on the phone -that's why I made that assumption. Sorry if I misread what you wrote. Good luck!!! I love your new perspective.

  3. 02-09-2020, 09:19 PM

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