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Thread: I've not been happy for ten years and it's finally getting the better of me

  1. #1

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    I've not been happy for ten years and it's finally getting the better of me

    I don't know what it's like to be a happy teenager, and considering I'm now 17 and going to be an adult, I don't think I ever will. I've not been happy since I was 7 years old, when my dad left because just when sunshine starts coming over the hill, something always gets in the way. There isn't really isn't even much to say about it. I was bullied all my way through secondary school. I've been harassed for trying to stand up for people who end up disappearing when they're done anyway. Then, even when I've been away from School, there has been something. Whether it be my father taking mum to court, or something else, there is never a break. I've had time periods, some lasting months, where I could call myself a happy person, but then something always ruins it. I know that's life, I know there are people with bigger problems, but guess what? I'm not as strong as them because I've come out of everything, and I don't care anymore. I have college assignments that need doing that I have no motivation for as well as work to do around the house.

    I've not thought about suicide in awhile, but I feel its getting to the point where its either me or someone else. I'm not going to do it any time soon, but man oh man, it's been added to the list of options again. Because I'm sick of life and I'm sick of people.

    Sorry if anyone found this distressing to read or wasted their time.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It's a common time to have a lot of confusing thoughts and feelings. Ask your mother to take you to a doctor for a checkup and to speak to an adolescent psychologist. See there are specialists in this because what you describe is a common transition.

    Conflicts with friends, crushes, parents, etc, hormones leaving high school etc are all part of it. Also if you can't talk to your parents find a trusted adult teacher, relative etc to confide in.
    Originally Posted by Shjrg
    I don't know what it's like to be a happy teenager, and considering I'm now 17. I've had time periods, some lasting months, where I could call myself a happy person. I'm sick of life and I'm sick of people.

  3. #3
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    Everyone is miserable as a teenager. I was. It does get better but you have to be alive to find that out.

    Please tell your parents or another trusted adult that you feel this way. Ask to see a therapist or counselor. Most colleges have mental health services for just this reason. Avail yourself of them. You will feel better.

    Hang in there.

  4. #4
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    I also am sincerely sorry that you feel like this. Know this: we are here to listen. I think at some point in everyone's life they encounter bumps on the road which may seem insurmountable. In addition to asking your mother (as one poster suggested) to take you to a doctor or therapist, I would like to suggest that you keep some sort of mood journal listing all the joys in your life that happen. I bet you can come up with a few things if you really think about it, right? Or how about listing your accomplishments? Small things like taking a shower, reading a book, playing some on-line games, etc. These accomplishments should not be Nobel prize worthy. Just simple every day things. They do make a difference.

    Personally, I find that the fall and winter months can be dark, dreary and downright depressing. Perhaps you should consider buying a sun lamp. Heck, I should follow my own advice here! I understand they really help some people. Additionally, you may consider eliminating grains and sugars to some degree and taking some vitamin supplements (especially vitamin D). This all may sound silly, but why not try some of these suggestions? Sending you hugs.

    I totally agree that life sucks at times but it's up to each one of us to do our best to make oneself happy. You are only 17 and that's one heck of a hard age. Hopefully, the bullying will stop to some degree as these idiots who bully people will grow up and realise how hurtful that is. These bullies are miserable people who feel miserable about themselves so they take it out on other people in an effort to feel better about themselves. They think they're hot sh*t but they are small pathetic people who are insecure. Please hang in there, Shjrg. You can do it, OK?

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  6. #5
    Silver Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    As a former miserable teenager and current content adult: Iím sending you good vibes, my friend. Youíre pretty smart for getting these thoughts and feelings out in the open and I believe youíre going to absolutely THRIVE as you leave behind the BS of adolescence and come into your own as a young adult.

    Much love, friend.

  7. #6
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    The one benefit of becoming an adult is that, soon, you will be totally free to make your own life choices. Which means the freedom to choose your own path, choose who to keep in your life and who to stay away from. You won't be a child trapped in an unhealthy and unhappy environment.

    I don't know where you are from, but if you have then option, go to university/college in a new city, start life afresh with an open mind. The unknown is scary, but also exciting and filled with promise. You are so young, you have so much potential to write your own story, instead of being a chapter in somebody else's.

  8. #7
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    You sound like me at 17.

    I don't know what you want to hear, my friend. You know the most positive thing? - that you said 'it's me or someone else.'

    I'm not advocating you do either, but you know what? Anger is the most positive thing you've got. Because there's a voice in there saying that you don't deserve this. That you don't want to check out of the hotel and why the should you. That you've got some fight left.

    You've already seen that you have times when things make you happy. But it always ends. Yes, and you know what? It always will. I met someone, got married, I was happy. She developed mental illness and made my life hell. But we had children. They made me happy. Then we got divorced and I was unhappy because the court said they had to live with her. Now my children are older and we have a really close relationship. I got happy. I met a lovely lady and we adored each other for three years. Right at the start of the Christmas holiday she changed her mind and dumped me. I am now unhappy. Yes, I've thought of jumping in the lake with a kettle bell in my rucksack. What stopped me? I've not seen season four of Rick and Morty. I don't know why that mattered so much.

    But this I do know - I will be happy again in a couple of weeks. And I'll probably be miserable at some point during this year. And then happy again. Maybe we only break even by dying when we're laughing?

    You've almost reached the age when you can make your own choices. Go to university. Move away from your family. You have so many chances for things to improve. You've already hit rock bottom - what have you go to lose by sticking around a while longer and seeing if stuff gets better?


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