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Thread: Uncomfortable comments

  1. #21
    ok so I’m keeping my distance from her. I feel like I’m giving her the silent treatment. I do talk to her but only about work. The problem is she seems now more to want to interact. She’s sending me unnecessary emails and doing stuff she wouldn’t normally. She’s trying to make me acknowledge that she’s there I think. What is wrong with her?

  2. #22
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    What is considered an "unnecessary email?" What "stuff" is she doin the she wouldn't normally do?

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Continue to leave her alone and act professional. That means answer any emails promptly, professionally and succinctly. Do not play silent treatment games. She told you in writing "your communication makes her uncomfortable", and that all you need to know.

    If you are thinking of starting things up again or playing silly ignoring games, it may be better to look for a new job before a sexual harassment situation ruins you for good or you get fired for being unprofessional. It doesn't matter "what's wrong with her" what matters is stop flirting with her, go to work and work..
    Originally Posted by geomeo123
    I’m keeping my distance from her. I do talk to her but only about work. She’s sending me unnecessary emails and doing stuff she wouldn’t normally. She’s trying to make me acknowledge that she’s there I think. What is wrong with her?

  4. #24
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Continue to leave her alone and act professional. That means answer any emails promptly, professionally and succinctly. Do not play silent treatment games. She told you in writing "your communication makes her uncomfortable", and that all you need to know.

    If you are thinking of starting things up again or playing silly ignoring games, it may be better to look for a new job before a sexual harassment situation ruins you for good or you get fired for being unprofessional. It doesn't matter "what's wrong with her" what matters is stop flirting with her, go to work and work..
    That doesn’t make any sense what so ever. I’m not playing games. I stopped talking to her about anything unless it has to do with work. Thus feels like silent treatment. I keep my distance now and her behavior starts to be bizarre. I would like to know what possible motive she has for her behavior. Because I want it to stop. You posted this “harassment idea” before on this thread and it made me feel uneasy. But now that I know you don’t know what on earth your talking about then I’m actually feeling a lot better. In future I’d appreciate it if you stop posting stupid things like that thanks. Wiseman..rolls eyes.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    We don't know her "motives".

    The recommendation remains the same...be professional no matter what she says or does. No texts, no messages outside of work related emails.

  7. 11-24-2019, 12:01 PM

  8. #26
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by geomeo123
    ok so I’m keeping my distance from her. I feel like I’m giving her the silent treatment. I do talk to her but only about work. The problem is she seems now more to want to interact. She’s sending me unnecessary emails and doing stuff she wouldn’t normally. She’s trying to make me acknowledge that she’s there I think. What is wrong with her?
    Often the thing that makes a person uncomfortable after they've dumped an emotional onslaught onto someone else is not so much about the response, but rather the embarrassment they feel about their own behavior.

    So she projected that onto you. While that might be forgivable in another context, at work it's dangerous and shows you her capacity to misunderstand you and potentially get you into trouble.

    So stay away from her beyond pleasant business exchanges. If she corners you about backing off, do NOT respond to any personal topics in writing--EVER again. Those can be used against you. Instead, you can just tell her in person that you will always enjoy working with her, but her remark about you making her uncomfortable has raised your best judgment about keeping your interactions at a business level.

    If she doesn't 'like' that, too-bad-so-sad. You need to take her flaky about-faces as a warning that your job could be at risk if you continue any kind of friendship with her.

  9. #27
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    Originally Posted by geomeo123
    ok so I’m keeping my distance from her. I feel like I’m giving her the silent treatment. I do talk to her but only about work. The problem is she seems now more to want to interact. She’s sending me unnecessary emails and doing stuff she wouldn’t normally. She’s trying to make me acknowledge that she’s there I think. What is wrong with her?
    Instead of wondering "what is wrong with her," have you taken some time to reflect why are you so curious about her motive etc? Why the obsession if you believe you have done nothing wrong? "The silent treatment" sounds like a manipulative move used for retaliation, punishment, or provoking some sort of reaction. Since you said you have no interest in her whatsoever, there is no need for such maneuver. Just go back to business as usual.

    Originally Posted by geomeo123
    I would like to know what possible motive she has for her behavior. Because I want it to stop.
    You can't control others' behavior. You can only control your own. If she is doing/saying something inappropriate, you could respectfully tell her that her comments/behavior made you uncomfortable, or report her if you'd like. That should stop it.

  10. #28
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    Originally Posted by geomeo123
    I keep my distance now and her behavior starts to be bizarre. I would like to know what possible motive she has for her behavior.
    What exactly does this bizarre behaviour consist of?

    What sort of unnecessary emails is she sending you, and what are the other things she has done that she hadn't done before?

  11. #29
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    If you sincerely want her behaviour to stop there is no need to wonder where her motive is coming from. Just ignore it as you are and address her only in regards to work. It doesn't matter what else she chooses to do or where she wants to sit or talk to others or whether she's making eyes at you or waving at you or what she's emailing you. Just ignore or put the inappropriate or unwanted emails in a separate folder in your email account and store it for HR if you need to when the time comes. Don't respond to them.

    If she says hello, say hello back. Don't ask her questions about her weekend or her day. If she asks you questions about yours, be cordial with short answers, "Doing fine, thanks. See you around or have a good day." You can answer someone and respond to them without inviting any other questions about yourself from the other party. Practice doing that and keep the contact to a minimum if you really want her behaviour to stop.

  12. #30
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    The less time and thought given to these kinds of situations the better. You left a book open and there is a drive to turn the page and see what's on the other side. Just close the book.

  13. 12-01-2019, 11:48 AM

  14. 12-01-2019, 12:16 PM

  15. 12-01-2019, 08:07 PM

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