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Thread: Legit or Ghosting?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I would back off. Perhaps she's busy with her job search, stressed, overwhelmed with school and doesn't have time for texting or messaging. Give her and people in general a lot of space and time. They'll eventually come around and contact you and if not, they're not interested. Never hound her or others.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mardoth20
    No no, I was asking to go over to help her search jobs to possibly cut the time down.

    I am just really honestly anxious because I have no idea what is going on since I haven’t heard anything since Saturday.
    I'd keep my distance and remain understanding of the situation. Avoid inviting yourself over. It sounds a bit overeager/inappropriate for the level that you both know each other (don't seem to know each other well or for very long). You're also not obligated to keep seeing her while she handles her own business. Do you think you're a tad too attached at this point? It's ok if you are. Just recognize the signs and pull back a little. I agree with the others making a soft/subtle offer to touch base again but her job situation (breaking it to you easy here) is really none of your business. Take it easy. All in good time.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    What's the benefit in assuming the worst? Anxiety and feeling lousy? Skip that, take the woman's explanation at face value, and recall any times in your life when you went through some tough experiences and were grateful that you didn't need to be accountable to anyone during that time.

    Move your focus onto your own life and develop the resilience necessary to roll with dating. Most people are NOT our match--that's just natural odds. It's doesn't make anything 'wrong' with you whenever someone needs or wants to divert their focus from you.

    Head high.

  4. #14
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    Do not contact her again for at least a week, possibly two.

    When you do, ask her how she is doing, did the job thing work out, let her lead the conversation.

    Then leave the ball in her court. You contacting one more time shows her you are interested. That is all you should do.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RayRay63
    Do not contact her again for at least a week, possibly two.

    When you do, ask her how she is doing, did the job thing work out, let her lead the conversation.

    Then leave the ball in her court. You contacting one more time shows her you are interested. That is all you should do.
    I agree with this except for questioning. It demands an answer. Unemployed people tend to isolate because they don’t want to answer questions, especially about their job search. Just send a message in a few weeks that says you’re thinking of her and hope she’s well. Then leave her be. She knows how to reach you if she wants to. Read my sig.

  7. #16
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    If she was sane and seriously interested in you, her work drama would have brought you two closer together, not further apart. I smell a rat, and it's her.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    I agree with this except for questioning. It demands an answer. Unemployed people tend to isolate because they don’t want to answer questions, especially about their job search. Just send a message in a few weeks that says you’re thinking of her and hope she’s well. Then leave her be. She knows how to reach you if she wants to. Read my sig.
    I couldn't agree more with catfeeder here ^^^. You shouldn't be taking this situation personally. Right now her main focus is (and should be) establishing herself employment wise. It isn't easy dating when you're in employment limbo. We all want to feel put together and settled when dating, and being in the midst of a job search can bring on feelings of inadequacy, stress, and gawd knows what else.

    I second catfeeder's suggestion on reaching out in two to three weeks and letting her know you're thinking of her and hoping all is well. I wouldn't ask her how her job search is going. If she wants to bring it up, let her take the lead. But, I wouldn't broach the topic if I were you - it's a sensitive topic, to say the least.

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