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Thread: Football dude

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Andrina

    If you have conversations like: "When do you feel loved by me most?" You can get insight about each other and use it like a manual.
    Fantastic idea. I like this a lot.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How did you meet? Why is it long distance? How often do you see each other? Why pursue a LDR when you "want to be with him all the time"? Perhaps being in a LDR is why you're starved for affection. Reconsider this relationship if you notice incompatibilities on top of the distance gap.
    Originally Posted by Blacksheep09
    I've been with my bf for a year now. we were doing long distance for most of our relationship.

    I have to initiate it usually. I usually end up pouting and saying something like "you don't care about me" blah blah blah. I just want to be with him all the time

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Speak in the positive to be encouraging rather than negatively to breed discouragement, or you'll come off as an exhausting whiner. Replace the pouting and complaining with, "I love it when you ..." or "I would love it if you would ..." as natural part of your vocabulary. Learn enough about him to offer trades with behaviors that are valuable to him in exchange for the behaviors that are valuable to you.

    Using negativity to get what you want gets neither of you any place good.

  4. #14
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    EACH and EVERY one of these comments are EXCEPTIONALLY helpful and EXACTLY what I needed to hear... Sometimes you just gotta say it out loud.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Blacksheep09
    Ok so it's been almost 9 years since I came on here, it just popped in my head.. enotalone!

    SO I've been with my bf for a year now, and we are still getting to know eachother's quirks and feeling each other out since we were doing long distance for most of our relationship. The issue I'm having is that, he is a great, warm, loving boyfriend, sweet and sings to me and is silly. He is such a genuinely good person, and I feel like the lucky one. But he is also a super laid back football player type that will kiss me in public but I have to initiate it usually. I always seem to interpret his laidbackness as rejection of me. What can I do to be able to receive his love the way he is showing it to me rather than always feeling let down if he's not all over me every second? I usually end up pouting and saying something like "you don't care about me" blah blah blah, I cringe at myself after lol. I need advice! I just love him so much. Like the undeniable, forever type of love, like I just want to be with him all the time and take a bite out of him love.

    help
    Yikes
    Don't be that person that complains and says those things. I've dumped ppl for that reason alone. It's a big turnoff.

    Also he shows his love differently, there is nothing wrong with that. Not everyone wants to be making other ppl awkward in public.

  7. #16
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    blacksheep

    You need to revise your thinking. PDA is not the only nor the best expression of love. Some people don't like it. If your BF kisses you when you initiate appreciate that & stop trying to force him to be somebody he's not although you should take the suggestion for positive reinforcement telling him how much you enjoy certain behaviors you like.

    he's not rejecting you. He is being true to himself. You really don't want him to change, do you if he did he wouldn't be the man you fell for.

    Focus on the good stuff.

  8. #17
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    I would not want to be with someone who was all over me in public. If things are great in private, i would be fine with that. i don't want a guy pawing me or tongue kissing out in public. Sounds like he is being respectful of you and not trying to "mark his territory" in public

  9. #18
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    It's true that most women..........despite what the Love languages book tells you, need affection to stay in love.

    Usually the problem relationships are where the guy pulls away from the woman when she makes affectionate advances, but that's not happening here. Still, he should give you those warm, hugs, and lingering kisses that excite you from time to time, just like the first kiss.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    . Still, he should give you those warm, hugs, and lingering kisses that excite you from time to time, just like the first kiss.
    But not in public...

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