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She ghosts me while having quarter life crisis


Bungaro

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Hello Guys!

 

I need some help from you, some advice and tips on my case. So the following happened. I met a girl in October, I felt we clicked. We live far away but I was planning our future together and she did so. We did not say that is is a LDR but we called every second day for hours and we felt great with 'each other'. It felt that it will be a LDR than we will solve it. Than she started to initiate contact less and less and there was a point she completelely dissapered for days. We talked about this and she has an overthinker personality and a quarter life crisis. 3 weeks has passed and she only replies with a few words every few days than dissapears and it is not personal. She told me it is because of her crisis, and will get better.She acknowledges my intentions for her and appreciates my care but a lot of time has passed. I believe that she does this to her friends as well, even to her mother. I showed her how much I care about her and also offered to travel there and help, but no reply. I really love her and want to help. This situation is driving me crazy, sometimes I take it personally even though I should not. I felt that we are really a good match but I am clueless what to do. I can not force myself on her but I can not move on either.

 

we are both 25.

 

Any advice is appreciated, thank you guys.

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The outlook isn't too good with LDRs. Usually one person starts to allow reality to sink in a little faster than the other and it's natural for things to fade over time. Be more realistic with yourself if you can.

 

Right now you're dealing with hurt and neglect. When the dust settles and your senses kick in, start hanging around more local friends and meet people locally. Are you also spending a large amount of your time online? How did you meet this person? Was it through online dating or a gaming app or ?

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Realistically, who will move if it continues?

 

If a person shows you that they have other commitments, it means that person has other commitments. You cannot force someone to talk to you or place you higher on their priority list. From your thoughts, it seems you're impatient and upset. I understand that.

 

I think you have several choices. If you think it's worth this much time and energy, be patient and don't pester her. I have a feeling you're impatient for change and want her to go back to the way things were before. There's NO guarantee for that. Not even in marriages when times hit a low point. You have to be comfortable with the feeling of uncertainty and have faith.

 

If you don't feel that faith or have trust in your partner, forget about it. You deserve every right to live your life fully here or elsewhere in a relationship with someone else.

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Ummm.....dude you met once, you've chatted some. You have no idea who she really is or what bs she is feeding. You are buying way way too deeply into some quarter life crisis nonsense - there is a more accurate description for this - a person who doesn't have their act together when they already should at their age, aka flake.

 

Basically, you don't have a relationship, you aren't dating, you live far away, you've only met once at a conference - she owes you nothing. If she decided to stop wasting her time chatting with you, met another guy locally, that's her business. She doesn't even owe you an explanation. Please get your head out of the clouds and place it firmly back on planet earth and stop playing captain-save-a-ho in your head. Her issues, assuming she even has any, are not any of your business.

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It was far too soon to be planning a future, OP.

 

You hardly know her and you had only met once. That isn't enough to build a future on. My guess is that she's not being honest about this "quarter-life crisis" and there's some other reason she's fading that she doesn't have the cojones to be honest about. Maybe she felt it was too rushed, maybe she's got someone local she's interested in. In any event, if she's not replying and seems to have lost interest, there really isn't much you can do. You don't know her well enough to help her through it.

 

I know it sucks and it's disappointing, but try not to get too attached too early on next time. Give a relationship room to unfold and grown before trying to plan a future.

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It always amuses me when girls in their 20's say they are having a quarter-life crisis ...I think to myself wait till you hit 50 and your face drops 3 inches , you notice the skin swinging on your arms when you hoover the stairs ,you find yourself in a constant state of sweat and then one day you will be shopping at the asda and a 70 yr old starts chatting you up ....now that's a crisis :eek:

 

I'm not mocking her op , just having fun at the expense of my own realisations .

 

I agree with Miss C that there is probably another reason she has faded out . Don't be so quick to want to rescue girls who really owe you nothing in life , you sound like a decent guy and there are plenty would snap you up buddy .

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Sorry to hear this. She may have a local bf, so be careful. Don't invest this much time in someone you have only met once. You have not seen her in her native milieu, so you really don't know who she is.. It sounds like she is making up this "quarter life crisis" bunk in order to tiptoe out of things.

 

You need to date locally and have relationships with real life real people, not phone pings. Get out more, get on some dating apps and start talking to and meeting women you can see on a regular basis. Usually extreme loneliness or being isolated or depressed can lead to this type of thing.

I met a girl in October, I felt we clicked. We live far away but I was planning our future together and she did so. 3 weeks has passed and she only replies with a few words every few days than dissapears and it is not personal. She told me it is because of her crisis, and will get better.
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