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Thread: Mother-In-Law keeps not taking her meds

  1. #1
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Mother-In-Law keeps not taking her meds

    For the third time this year my MIL has landed her butt in the hospital because she decides taking her meds is not something she needs to do based on side effects and the fact that doctors are stupid ( based on the fact that well she knows everything since she went to school till she was 15) ( sarcasm🙄)

    She admitted as much yesterday to me. She didnít take her meds three times this year and ended up in the hospital. Sheís so stubborn and stupid to the point sheís probably going to kill herself.


    This is more of a rant than anything. She is causing my husband so much grief and worry.

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    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Hey my elderly mother is difficult as well. She request that I take over handling her accounts, and finances. Big mistake. She is a bully, won't take my advice and still treats me like a child. I totally had to abandon any responsibility just so I could sleep at night. She's got her BF's daughter handling her affairs, and I don't care what happens tbh. I'm fortunate that she's in a seniors residence with medical care provided. Maybe this is something your husband may consider.

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Hey my elderly mother is difficult as well. She request that I take over handling her accounts, and finances. Big mistake. She is a bully, won't take my advice and still treats me like a child. I totally had to abandon any responsibility just so I could sleep at night. She's got her BF's daughter handling her affairs, and I don't care what happens tbh. I'm fortunate that she's in a seniors residence with medical care provided. Maybe this is something your husband may consider.
    Unfortunately, she wonít go. My SIL even set up home care and my mother-in-law called and cancelled it and since sheís in her right mind we canít make her do anything . And my father-in-law is in the hospital now permanently because of his Parkinsonís and dementia . Like you know itís real fun time.

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    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Well I can see how she would have fears of dying, getting ill etc. She won't accept it, that's why she keeps not taking her medication, or get help. She's in denial I guess. Refusing will make it go away.

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Well I can see how she would have fears of dying, getting ill etc. She won't accept it, that's why she keeps not taking her medication, or get help. She's in denial I guess. Refusing will make it go away.
    She must be in denial somewhat. But their story was they had kids for when they got old. So she only wants her son and her and her daughter helping her. Her daughter lives in the same complex and spends 4 nights a week with her over night but we live far away. And now that her husband has been in the hospital since August......

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    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Not sure if your MIL has always been difficult, or perhaps it is just due to old age. I tend to find that older people become more set in their ways and more stubborn about their long held beliefs, and lose their inhibition to express them. It is sometimes frustrating, but there is nothing we can do about it except accept that it is at least partly due to mental deterioration.

    My maternal grandma was the sweetest old lady who passed away in her 80s over 20 years ago. At the time my uncle was sort of a big shot in the Chinese military, with a personal driver and the like, so he was able to arrange the best care for his mother in her final years, including arranging for doctors to come to her for non-serious issues so she did not have to endure trips to the hospital, with the queues, hospital bugs, crowded wards etc... But as her mental faculties worsened, she began to complain that her son would not take her to a hospital to see "proper doctors who wear white coats", because in her mind, real doctors must wear white coats. lol It was quite amusing, and my uncle proceeded to buy some white medical coats and ask doctors to put them on as they came in the door.

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    She must be in denial somewhat. But their story was they had kids for when they got old. So she only wants her son and her and her daughter helping her. Her daughter lives in the same complex and spends 4 nights a week with her over night but we live far away. And now that her husband has been in the hospital since August......
    Have you discussed with you sister in law?
    It seems she is the one in direct care of your MIL.

    If you feel your SIL is not doing a good job of spiking your MILís meals and drinks with her much needed meds then why donít you arrange your MIL to come live with you?
    Will that reduce your grief and worry?

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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Have you discussed with you sister in law?
    It seems she is the one in direct care of your MIL.

    If you feel your SIL is not doing a good job of spiking your MILís meals and drinks with her much needed meds then why donít you arrange your MIL to come live with you?
    Will that reduce your grief and worry?
    My MIL canít live with us. My husband is military and she canít navigate our house . Our only bathroom is upstairs and she canít climb stairs anymore. Plus I have a home daycare in my house 12 hours a day. She could never see her husband in the hospital. And I canít stand the woman. She has given me 30 years of abuse.


    My SIL orders all kinds of help and my MIL just cancels everything. Since she has all her faculties thereís zero you can do.

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    My MIL canít live with us. My husband is military and she canít navigate our house . Our only bathroom is upstairs and she canít climb stairs anymore. Plus I have a home daycare in my house 12 hours a day. She could never see her husband in the hospital. And I canít stand the woman. She has given me 30 years of abuse.


    My SIL orders all kinds of help and my MIL just cancels everything. Since she has all her faculties thereís zero you can do.
    Your husband is military , that allows him to have a wife to run a child daycare from government housing but does not allow you to have a house that caters for an elderly person?

    Something is amiss right there!!
    You should request housing that allows both!
    Hopefully , since this is causing you both so much grief and worry that you can get your MIL to move in with you soon.
    Fingers crossed!!!

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Your husband is military , that allows him to have a wife to run a child daycare from government housing but does not allow you to have a house that caters for an elderly person?

    Something is amiss right there!!
    You should request housing that allows both!
    Hopefully , since this is causing you both so much grief and worry that you can get your MIL to move in with you soon.
    Fingers crossed!!!
    Did you miss the part where I hate her arse? And she hates me? If she lived with me I would be getting a divorce. Period.

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