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Thread: Mother-In-Law keeps not taking her meds

  1. #11
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Plus the military does not consider my MIL a dependent. My son with a disability is not even considered a dependent just I am.

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    The military only augments houses for legal dependents with verifiable medical conditions. Parents are not dependents. Especially not parents with their own insurance and support systems just too lazy to use them. My housing was not augmented in least for my home daycare .

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    The only choice you have is for her to suffer the consequences of her own choices, I hate to say. She will either get to the point where she is desperate enough to accept help from someone other than family or she will do enough damage to herself that she will have no choice but to stay in the hospital, and afterwards the doctor not allowing her to go home. What motivated my guy's grandma was the fact that she wanted to be healthy enough to be there for Grandpa, so as stubborn as she was, she knew that her husband could not physically take care of her due to his condition and that's what motivated her. Sad she doesn't have the same motivation.

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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    The only choice you have is for her to suffer the consequences of her own choices, I hate to say. She will either get to the point where she is desperate enough to accept help from someone other than family or she will do enough damage to herself that she will have no choice but to stay in the hospital, and afterwards the doctor not allowing her to go home. What motivated my guy's grandma was the fact that she wanted to be healthy enough to be there for Grandpa, so as stubborn as she was, she knew that her husband could not physically take care of her due to his condition and that's what motivated her. Sad she doesn't have the same motivation.
    Exactly.
    .... one day she will kill herself with this.

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    The military only augments houses for legal dependents with verifiable medical conditions. Parents are not dependents. Especially not parents with their own insurance and support systems just too lazy to use them. My housing was not augmented in least for my home daycare .
    Oh ok , I understand.

    So that means the military are unaware that you are running a profitable business from this property?
    Or if they are aware then they have turned a blind eye to it?
    If so , then surely they would turn a blind eye to either your son or mil staying there??

    If you are not happy with the military not acknowledging your son as a dependant you should question that?

    Yes I got the point that you hate your mil, but I am assuming your husband doesnít? Hence the anguish and grief you mention. Right?
    Parents do eventually become dependants , you will too one day.
    Who they become dependant on , well itís either family, private health insurance or government , or a combination of all.

    But if the current situation is causing you so much grief, what do you intend to do about it , aside from vent?
    Whatís your husbands perspective?

  7. #16
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Oh ok , I understand.

    So that means the military are unaware that you are running a profitable business from this property?
    Or if they are aware then they have turned a blind eye to it?
    If so , then surely they would turn a blind eye to either your son or mil staying there??

    If you are not happy with the military not acknowledging your son as a dependant you should question that?

    Yes I got the point that you hate your mil, but I am assuming your husband doesnít? Hence the anguish and grief you mention. Right?
    Parents do eventually become dependants , you will too one day.
    Who they become dependant on , well itís either family, private health insurance or government , or a combination of all.

    But if the current situation is causing you so much grief, what do you intend to do about it , aside from vent?
    Whatís your husbands perspective?
    No, the military is aware and I have a signed letter from the base commander to run my business. I can question the military all I want unless my son has a disability tax credit number they wonít consider him a dependent. I am hiring a disability advocate to do that as my provincial government considers him 90% disabled but the federal government at the time we applied did not. Now for political reasons we can try again. Right now as it stands if the post us they wonít move our son with us we have to pay to move him ourselves. He is allowed to live here as he was a dependent for 21 years now they just wonít pay his benefits or move him if we move.

    If we move which is likely in the next 2 years they wonít move or pay a cent for her either. Move her cross country at 88? Not wise.

    The thing is my MIL and SIL live in the SAME condo complex and her daughter spends 4 nights a week overnight with her. She doesnít need to live with us. She has more money than we do and more benefits as well. She has ZERO need to suffer but insists on it. My FIL is in a hospital THERE suffering with Parkinsonís and dementia he will never leave there so she needs to be close to him .

    I have my own dying parents who are in more dire dire need and put no pressure on us .

    My husband does not want to live with his mom. He loves her but living with her is out. My husband tried to commit suicide in his 30ís because of how he was treated by his parents all his life. Their emotional abuse bordered on cultish weirdess.

    Not to mention there are no doctors here for her. We have a dr shortage. No one has time to do a 2 day round trip because of her age to take her to appointments there.
    Last edited by ~Seraphim ~; 11-20-2019 at 07:21 AM.

  8. #17
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    So, nope the ole woman is not living here . That is totally out. Both her and her husband almost destroyed my husband and tried to emotionally abuse my son. Nope nope nope nope. I was abused much of my life by my dadís crazy family and his parents . I would live under a bridge in a box before living with her.

    I canít rely on my son when old because he is disabled. We will be on our own.
    Last edited by ~Seraphim ~; 11-20-2019 at 07:56 AM.

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