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Thread: Broken friendship

  1. #1

    Broken friendship

    Hi, I'm Male, sixteen and I recently had a bad fallout with a friend. For this story to make any sense I have to start from the very beginning. So I'm an only child and I live quite far away from anybody my age. I went to primary school and I was often semi-excluded because I didn't know anybody and I was smarter than everyone there. I kind of grew up to be narcissistic and competitive. For my first year of secondary school this continued although then I met this guy who I'll call X. For the first time I felt like somebody cared for me and I truly felt like over the next two years I grew a different personality. And i dont mean that my old personality developed but that a new one was actually created and that two people were living inside me. I cared about this person more than anything else in the world and I would have rather died than let them down. They were always there for me and I tried to be there for them as well . Then earlier this year around 3 months ago I had a dream where I was sleeping with X and it was amazing. I was really confused about this because I had always been straight and had never had such thoughts before. I also didn't want to develop a crush on my bff in case it would jeopardise everything I had become over the last 3 years. I tried to convince myself that a) I was simply mistaking sexual love for the strong friendship love I actually felt for him and b) I told myself he must be straight and came up with tons of reasons why he had to be. Then one day in town he asked me did I prefer the top or bottom half of a girl. I thought this was a strange question so just said " I dont know . You?" He then waited for a while before saying " I like penis" then he started laughing and said " way to make it awkward. It was a really weird conversation and thought that he must be joking so soon enough I forgot about it. Then the next week I was in town with him again with a few other friends and i started asking some general questions on sexuality such as whether there were more than 3 sexualities ( cause I thought I might be bicurious or something.) And then I said something about X pretending to be someone he is not. I said this because around me he made all these sex "jokes" but he didn't around other people. After that he stopped talking to me. I asked him why but he kept ignoring me. Eventually he told me that he had confined in me about being gay and that I had treated it as a joke. I tried to tell him that I hadn't known and I though my it was a joke but I dont think he believed me. He's been ignoring me for 2 months now and our mutual friends have all sided with him too. I really don't know what to do cause I dont want to live without him and have started to get really suicidal. I can't help but look depressed in school and I think that he thinks I'm just putting it on. I dont want to put him under pressure but I can't handle this any longer and he won't talk to me and will probably tell me to piss off if I try to talk to him. What should I do?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Message him and tell him you were really nervous because you had those feelings for him. That you didn't think any of it was funny, just very confusing and you were scared about it. If he is that sensitive about coming out, then he should understand how difficult it was for you to admit it too.

    Don't stress out so much about it. He will come around again. People get over it.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I had a falling out with a good friend who, it turned out, was professionally" jealous of me and tried to get me fired from my job. I stayed away from her for about a year. Today we are good friends again. We just put it all behind us and moved forward.

    I would apologize for my reaction and explain that I had been unsure of how to react. And that you completely understand because you feel the same way. And then let him come to you.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Message him and tell him you were really nervous because you had those feelings for him. That you didn't think any of it was funny, just very confusing and you were scared about it. If he is that sensitive about coming out, then he should understand how difficult it was for you to admit it too.

    Don't stress out so much about it. He will come around again. People get over it.
    What feelings?
    He doesn’t have any for him? Except as a friend?
    The OP wasn’t scared. So why would he tell him he was?

    The OP is straight! ???

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Leave him alone. Get help for the suicidal thoughts.


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