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Thread: incredibly in love with her, but don't like her family

  1. #11
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    we are dating for 2-3 months now. she is 19, i am 25. i am her first boyfriend, and she is my third.
    she is such an amazing and sensitive girl, full of love and empathy, adorable. i cannot stop hugging her and kissing her cheeks and lips. i want all the best for her, and equally she does for me.


    sounds like you don't respect her - you see her as a pouty little doll and not a grown woman. Maybe the family thinks you are a bit of a creeper....

  2. #12
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    Answering to all of you guys:
    There are many thing that bother me regarding her family.. one of them is that they are impulsive people, dont think much, flow, in-the-moment people. The other thing is that they are lazy. Not hard workers (not talking necessarily only on work-job), and very neglected figuras (fisicly) from what i have seen.
    It is very disappointing.

    What can i tell her then? I am looking for an excuse since telling her the above (or anything) about her family sound much more insaulting then saying something about herself.
    Maybe i can say that i feel she is not mature enough for me, and that the age gap is too much for me. Thats the only excuse i came out with, after thinking quite a lot... :(

  3. #13
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    How an earth can you possibly know all that about her family after you have only been dating 2/3 months .

    This is kinda the same theme as your thread last year , you want to dump the girl after 3 months . ...

    Maybe i can say that i feel she is not mature enough for me
    don't put this on her buddy ..don't you dare make that girl feel worthless ......how about you tell her you are not mature enough for a relationship .

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by AskIt
    Answering to all of you guys:
    There are many thing that bother me regarding her family.. one of them is that they are impulsive people, dont think much, flow, in-the-moment people. The other thing is that they are lazy. Not hard workers (not talking necessarily only on work-job), and very neglected figuras (fisicly) from what i have seen.
    It is very disappointing.

    What can i tell her then? I am looking for an excuse since telling her the above (or anything) about her family sound much more insaulting then saying something about herself.
    Maybe i can say that i feel she is not mature enough for me, and that the age gap is too much for me. Thats the only excuse i came out with, after thinking quite a lot... :(
    Is she hard working? Is she too impulsive? I have a friend who's been married over 30 years to a guy who came from a very troubled family/dysfunctional. But, he was the shining star (of many siblings). Yes they had their challenges and struggles as far as her relationship with these inlaws but they both agreed to relocate to another state away from their families (her parents then moved to that state) and they worked it out. I met them a number of times and had issues with them and felt for my friend but she chose love and her commitment to him over issues with his family. They got married in their early 20s, started dating in their teens. It absolutely does not have to be a dealbreaker.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I think you should go with your gut, Op. You are right in not wanting to subject yourself to a family that you just met and have negatively judged in such a short time after meeting.

    Both of you are probably better off letting one another go.

    Just tell her she's a lovely girl that is going to make someone very happy one day and that you respect her too much to let this go on any further when you are feeling that you are incompatible. That you don't want either of you getting any more attached... or just use the age gap if that is what you feel most comfortable with.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'd keep it simple and just explain that you feel differently (don't feel the same way). It's only been two to three months. She will be okay and so will you.

  8. #17
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    She sounds like she's very close to her family and if you don't like them, it will never work out between you two. Both of you will always argue about her family, your disliking them and she'll feel that you are taking her away from them.

    In a relationship or marriage, the family is involved because there are family gatherings, reunions, occasions, celebrations and you either have to be a good sport and get along or get out.

    I know I wouldn't like it if I didn't get along with my in-laws and if my husband didn't like my relatives. Family is everything. Family is extremely important. Blood is thicker than water.

    You should breakup with her now instead of prolonging this dating relationship with her. It's more hurtful to breakup later than sooner.

    You have no long term goals with her, no intentions of marrying her due to her family so why drag this out?

    You confront her by being honest. Tell her that you don't like her family nor will you ever. Then part ways permanently.

    Don't have her waste her youth on your anymore. It's time to cut her loose so both of you can move on with your lives.

  9. #18
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    i think thats what i am going to do. i will tell her that i feel that we are too different from each other, and that it is too much for me. maybe because of the age gap. i believe it is not offending, right?
    i won't mention her family at all.
    i really really hope she will understand and will not get hurt much, god she is so sweet and such a kind person

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Your opinion if her family is your issue, so you needn't mention it. Simply tell her it's not working out. You don't need to insult her or or family. Just end it.
    Originally Posted by AskIt
    What can i tell her then? I am looking for an excuse since telling her the above

  11. #20
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    In a relationship, you are dating your partner, not the family. What is required of the family is just to be on good terms with you and be reasonably nice people who treat you well. And don't meddle too much lol They are not required to be XYZ as suited to YOUR expectations. I find it very surprising that you don't like literally everyone in her family and you think they are ALL lazy and impulsive. How can that be that it's all of them? Also you can't like this girl that much if you're only trying to look at negative things about her whole family. You sound snobbish to be honest.

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