Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 42

Thread: Inviting female friend over in the middle of our date!

  1. #21
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Posts
    844
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Shylight
    He denies that there is anything romantic between the two of them - and while I have a hint of suspicion, I do 99% of the time believe hes being honest about the platonic nature of their friendship.

    He explained to me verbatim:

    "Reflecting back, I can see where you are coming from. I didn't intend for you to be in the position you ultimately found yourself in, and for that I apologize. I can't blame you for your decision. If that is how I made you feel then you are right in this. Interestingly enough, I told "Danny" last night after you left that I noticed she is inadvertently causing a negative impact on things, and that it wasn't her necessarily doing it because ultimately my actions are my own. That being said, I don't think you are wrong in what you described last night. I didn't notice it in the moment, but I don't doubt your words.

    I am sorry I put you in that position. Take Care"

    He explained he did not realize how he was making me feel in the moment
    I assume the "decision" he is referring to is that you don't want to see him again? And you are right, he may not be involved with her at all, but just putting her feelings above yours is not very nice at all. I just think it's very shady that he is hanging around with someone with such a big age difference. Did he try to fight for you at all?

  2. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,816
    How rude. I can't stand in any friendship if someone invites someone else along to a one on one plan without asking me first. Even if she needed help he needed to assess the situation and then talk with you about what was best to do. He was busy and unless it was a true medical emergency he should not have invited her over.

  3. #23
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Land of Wind & Ghosts
    Posts
    1,426
    He is a drug addict. This is what they do - drugs are above everything, including the girlfriend..... drugs are their God.

    Many people would consider drugs a dealbreaker.

  4. #24
    Bronze Member Shylight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    210
    Gender
    Female
    Thank you everyone.

    I honestly do not think I would be able to accept this kind of friendship in my boyfriends life. Apparently this dedication to girl has caused problems in his prior relationships as well. Not one of his ex girlfriends liked her, and now I see why, because he puts his friendship over their relationship.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,431
    Gender
    Female
    Well, your relationship was undefined and if anything good came out of this, he showed who he was and where you stood early on.
    This isn't about you.
    It's a reflection of him.
    Be thankful you found this out now and not 6 more months from now.
    Head high.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,816
    Originally Posted by Shylight
    Thank you everyone.

    I honestly do not think I would be able to accept this kind of friendship in my boyfriends life. Apparently this dedication to girl has caused problems in his prior relationships as well. Not one of his ex girlfriends liked her, and now I see why, because he puts his friendship over their relationship.
    I think you're being thoughtful about this particular friendship and I think the real issue here is far more specific - his actions in how disrespectfully he treated you when she called. I think you posted about issues with this guy before.

  8. #27
    Bronze Member Shylight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    210
    Gender
    Female
    Yes I did. Like an idiot I wanted to keep seeing him

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,505
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Shylight
    I immediately excused myself, and went home.
    Perfect response. Now, you just have to stay gone. This is not your problem any longer. Leave it for some other girl to rationalize away (poor fool).

    Originally Posted by Shylight
    Apparently this dedication to girl has caused problems in his prior relationships as well. Not one of his ex girlfriends liked her
    The fact that you know this means that this "friendship vs relationship" dynamic is probably how he gets his kicks.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    3,643
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Shylight
    Thank you everyone.

    I honestly do not think I would be able to accept this kind of friendship in my boyfriends life. Apparently this dedication to girl has caused problems in his prior relationships as well. Not one of his ex girlfriends liked her, and now I see why, because he puts his friendship over their relationship.
    Um, how far back in his relationship history has this friend a problem? She's been a legal adult for, at most, 11 months and 364 days. If he's had multiple ex-girlfriends in that short stretch—red flag. If he had girlfriends who had issues with his 16 and 17-year-old friend—skull-and-crossbones flag.

    Don't mean to harp on this, but I'm just getting the sense that there is a lot about this guy that has not been adding up to boyfriend material for you. Perhaps the other night was a blessing in that you now can't keep ignoring the evidence.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,431
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Shylight
    Yes I did. Like an idiot I wanted to keep seeing him
    That's ok. That makes you human.
    Often times is take our heart a little more time to catch up with our heads.

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •