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Thread: Ego depletion (or something like that...?)

  1. #1

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    Ego depletion (or something like that...?)

    TL;DR I might have gotten the title wrong, but nevertheless - I came to realize that when I am doing what I like, I don't mind thinking about my chores I have to do afterwards - I actually look forward to them, thinking that I'll be done with them, and then the next day I get to continue doing what I like.
    After I stopped enjoying myself, it lasts about 15-20 minutes - then I am not so eager to start on the chores, even though I still know that I'll be fine the next day.

    To give an example - I have two small children at home, and during the day, at work, I look forward to seeing them in the afternoon.
    I like my job - I get to be creative, and solve problems.
    Then I leave the office - still fine.

    It takes about 30 minutes to travel home, and at some point in the middle I start missing work.
    I am still looking forward to seeing them, but now I want to continue on what I left in half at work.
    At home, around 6-7PM, before they go to bed, I really want the day to be over, so that I can do what I like instead.

    Weekends are the worst.
    But funniliy, if I can smuggle in, like, 30 minutes a few times during the two weekend days, I am much better - I can enjoy being with them, and don't strive to do something on my own that much.

    I don't like it this way, that I need a kick every few hours.
    It's like as if I had a very short buffer for happiness, and when that's used up, it's really a struggle to last through the day/weekend.

    Is this something other people also struggle with?
    What can one do to train themselves?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you living with their father? Where is he? Can he participate more in their care? Can you get a house keeper? What about a nanny or baby sitter? It sounds like poor time/household management. Nothing to do with ego.
    Originally Posted by samat
    I have two small children at home, and during the day, at work, I look forward to seeing them in the afternoon.
    I like my job - I get to be creative, and solve problems.

    It takes about 30 minutes to travel home, and at some point in the middle I start missing work.
    I am still looking forward to seeing them
    At home, around 6-7PM, before they go to bed, I really want the day to be over, so that I can do what I like instead.

    Weekends are the worst.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 11-15-2019 at 11:37 AM.

  3. #3
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    Try doing one thing different each day. Good for the brain and the soul. Like taking a different route to work. Stopping somewhere to get a coffee before home or before work. Go out to eat with the kids once a week somewhere. Do a family connect night once a week or once a month where you play board games or a puzzle together or something fun. Take a class once a week. Or go for a walk once a week.

    Monotony happens to the best of us. Of course we love our kids, but boys are like wild cavemen and are exhausting. And you are a wash, rinse, repeat cycle. You just have to have a future event to look forward to like a planned vacation or fun party.

    Chores are chores. You just have to do them, and just do them. ADHD does not help though.

    But do what I do, make them pick up or they can't have a playdate. And no need to clean every day but the kitchen. Just wait till guests may come over.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It sounds more like time management and visualizing a better you (not burning out). It's difficult if you don't have much of it (time). My husband has expressed a similar pattern because his time is so limited. You must absolutely make time for yourself. I'm a big supporter of this and encourage individual time to explore, decompress, float, wonder and feel. What you're going through would sound very familiar to a lot of parents with young kids. Make time for yourself, either before bed or early in the morning. Start visualizing a future you (short term even) and go out and do things.

    For example, if you want to explore the arts whether it's painting, performing arts, checking out new art work or appreciating photography, enjoy that in your alone time. If you're sports oriented or like physical activity, go to the gym or purchase new weights or a system that works for you. My husband just bought some new weights and he's in another room while I'm doing something else. Don't limit yourself. If you're working try to balance work with personal time for your own play, not just with your kids. Keep yourself entertained and happy/healthy mentally and physically if you can.

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