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Thread: What is going through his mind?

  1. #1
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    What is going through his mind?

    My ex and i were together for 8yrs. We are in our early 40s. We were also engaged. Our relationship had hit really bad/stressful time. So he broke up w/me about 7months ago,and i moved back home. He now has a new woman,she is now pregnant! Anyway i just discovered via facebook that now they are engaged, and she announced it on my birthday! Did he just seriously propose to my replacement on my birthday? SMH!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. Stuff like this stings. It may be best to delete him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps. Who needs this type of stuff in your face, right?
    Originally Posted by vettech
    My ex and i were together for 8yrs. We are in our early 40s. We were also engaged. Our relationship had hit really bad/stressful time. So he broke up w/me about 7months ago,and i moved back home. He now has a new woman,she is now pregnant! Anyway i just discovered via facebook that now they are engaged, and she announced it on my birthday! Did he just seriously propose to my replacement on my birthday? SMH!
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 11-13-2019 at 02:25 PM.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Put him out of your mind. He shouldn't be on your facebook page or connected to you on social media. I hope this is a wake up call for you. Let go. Don't stay stuck trying to decode what he's thinking. It's not worth it. Work on yourself more and do all the things you wanted to do in the eight years you might not have been able to.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Delete this guy from your fb page right now. You need to get him gone from your mind.

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  6. #5
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    Remove him from your Facebook friends list and block him so no posts from "mutual friends" show up in your news feed.

    I mean, if you broke your leg you wouldn't deliberately take a sledgehammer to it, would you?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    You need to stop making what he does about you. The day he proposed to her was totally random. It was just an unlucky coincidence. Not an attempt to spite you. No-one schedules their life to avoid exes' birthdays and past anniversaries. Plus, finding out would hurt regardless the day.

    The thing is that you would have never found out about being your birthday, or any of that for that matter, had you not been cyber stalking them on Facebook. Do yourself a favour and block both of their profiles on Facebook, along with any other social media. Looking them up on Facebook is like shooting yourself on the foot. You need to stop finding out about his new life because, while it may feel it's about you, in reality these events are totally unrelated to you. He is not part of your life. His life has nothing to do with yours anymore.

    I am very sorry that this is happening to you. I fully understand the frustration you are feeling. However, this man is still all wrong for you, you two are still incompatible (you gave it a go for 8 whole years and it still fell apart) and in reality nothing he does matters. He is irrelevant. Whatever happened past the break up is IRRELEVANT, not a competition. It's all irrelevant. Stop peeking.
    You are sabotaging your healing and keeping you stuck.

    I know it all appears very quick but people in their forties are known to take such leaps. I fully understand how it may feel personal and a slap in the face. In reality it has nothing to do with you. Your brain is fooling you to believe this all is somehow connected to you but it's really really NOT. You two were incompatible hence the break up. What an ex does afterwards with other women, how soon, at what date yadda yadda doesn't matter.

  8. #7
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    I don't know the reasons why you broke up. I feel your pain, truly. I have no idea what going through his mind but I also think you should delete him, and your mutual friends, from you Facebook page. What good will it do you to find out what he's up to, expect cause you more heartache? As the saying goes: What you don't know, won't hurt you. Think about it.

    I can tell you from personal experience (divorced since January of this year; married for 29 years) that if I find out something that my ex is doing with other women, it just gets me very stressed out and upset. Not productive in healing. Don't do that to yourself, OK?

  9. #8
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    I hardly think he had you on his mind.

    Just be glad you are no longer dealing with the bad sex-8 years of it-and his kid and ex.

    Delete him.

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    Block and delete. what he does after you split up is nothing to do with you so why view his new life?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Question should be: "What's going on in your mind" that you would want to know what is going on in his mind and why you continue to follow him. If you want to more quickly get to the stage of indifference to him, luv then you must get the strength to block and delete him and change all thought of him as soon as he pops into your mind. There will be plenty of time to visit your memories for a glimpse of the good times you had with him once you are through your grief and disappointment that the relationship has ended and you are in the blissful stage of indifference.

    Resolve to let go.

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