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Thread: Am I overreacting ?

  1. #1
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    Am I overreacting ?

    From my previous post. I spoke about a guy I was dating for a couple months. We¬íre not official just dating. We had issues because he was distant and bad at communicating. We met up to have a conversation and he prOmised he would do better. He did for a little and went back to his old ways. We would hangout and I wouldn¬ít hear from him for two, three days until I reach out. his excuse is that he just not use to speaking to anyone everyday which is fine but I would like to hear, see him more. and every time we had a disagreement we would not speak for a week or two. But I¬ím the only one reaching out after each fight. At our last conversation he kept giving me two word answers I felt unwanted so I told him I cared about him but it didn¬ít seem like he felt the same way for that reason Well Stop communicating and move on. He did not reply. My friends tell me I was wrong for breaking up via text. But I barely see him and when I do see him I get nervous and can¬ít bring myself to do it because Seeing him makes it harder. Was I expecting too much? Every time we have a disagreement he wouldn¬ít reply but when I double text he acts like nothing has happened and go back to being friends. Is it a sign that he didnít want the break up?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think your communication style is very different from his. He doesnt appear to like to talk or text. I think you should move on. No reason to think this will get better with time.

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    Is he bad at communicating or simply unmotivated to put in the effort to keep in touch with you? Or yes maybe your styles are different.

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    When we first met we would text all the time. But he never wants to talk on the phone just text. We had one major fight about that two months into dating and his communication changed. He Became distant. When I ask he says because Iím always complaining.So I would say both.

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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Is he bad at communicating or simply unmotivated to put in the effort to keep in touch with you? Or yes maybe your styles are different.
    When we first met we would text all the time. But he never wants to talk on the phone just text. We had one major fight about that two months into dating and his communication changed. He Became distant. When I ask he says because Iím always complaining.So I would say both.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Seems like a lot of baggage for 8 weeks of dating, no? After a handful of dates, you observe and decide, not lecture and try to change or fix someone. Why do you keep running into him? This seems more like fwb, not dating.
    Originally Posted by Tishmoore691
    dating for a couple months. We met up to have a conversation and he prOmised he would do better. He did for a little and went back to his old ways. every time we had a disagreement we would not speak for a week or two. But I’m the only one reaching out after each fight.

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry to hear this. Seems like a lot of baggage for 8 weeks of dating, no? After a handful of dates, you observe and decide, not lecture and try to change or fix someone. Why do you keep running into him? This seems more like fwb, not dating.
    Unfortunately itís been 5 months but had communication issues after 2 months. I should of stopped seeing him but I didnít. Iíll see him once every two weeks. He lives almost an hour away. Yes it does seem like FWB

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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    I think your communication style is very different from his. He doesnt appear to like to talk or text. I think you should move on. No reason to think this will get better with time.
    I donít think so either

  10. #9
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Your friends are wrong to criticize how you ended things. You need to do what you need to do and there is no point in a face to face meeting with a person who is already checked out and hardly speaking with you, not to mention doesn't even treat you like a relationship. You owed him nothing really and had you not reached out, I'd bet money this would have ended a long time ago on its own. You were the one pulling and pushing and keeping it going while he was quite literally recalcitrant toward you. In the future, please leave sooner instead of trying to teach a guy to be who you want him to be.

    When you are dating, your time to observe. If the guy doesn't act like you like, walk away. If things change dramatically after a month or a few, even more reason to walk away because that's when you are starting to see his real face and if you don't like what you see, understand that things will only go downhill from there. Learn how to exit quickly and don't get stuck on how things were early on. Focus on what is going on here and now, in the present. The past is gone.

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    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I hope you've learned something from this, so you'll learn to navigate better while dating. Basically, never put more effort into a new relationship than you're getting, and then if you're not happy with the effort, move on. Never double text/double communicate. When you ask to get together and he's busy, the ball is now in his court to ask you for the next time. Don't ask again. I even do this with friendships as well, as my leisure time is limited, and I'll only retain friendships with women who show an equal effort to my own.

    You will soon see whether or not you're a priority, and if your dating styles match. If not, move on so you can find your match.

    Yes, it's best not to have important discussions over text. Save that for in person, or at least a phone call. In this case, it doesn't matter because you hung on to someone who isn't right for you for far too long. When a man is crazy about you, he will make it crystal clear.

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