Am I overreacting ?

From my previous post. I spoke about a guy I was dating for a couple months. WeÂ’re not official just dating. We had issues because he was distant and bad at communicating. We met up to have a conversation and he prOmised he would do better. He did for a little and went back to his old ways. We would hangout and I wouldnÂ’t hear from him for two, three days until I reach out. his excuse is that he just not use to speaking to anyone everyday which is fine but I would like to hear, see him more. and every time we had a disagreement we would not speak for a week or two. But IÂ’m the only one reaching out after each fight. At our last conversation he kept giving me two word answers I felt unwanted so I told him I cared about him but it didnÂ’t seem like he felt the same way for that reason Well Stop communicating and move on. He did not reply. My friends tell me I was wrong for breaking up via text. But I barely see him and when I do see him I get nervous and canÂ’t bring myself to do it because Seeing him makes it harder. Was I expecting too much? Every time we have a disagreement he wouldnÂ’t reply but when I double text he acts like nothing has happened and go back to being friends. Is it a sign that he didn’t want the break up?

I think your communication style is very different from his. He doesnt appear to like to talk or text. I think you should move on. No reason to think this will get better with time.

Is he bad at communicating or simply unmotivated to put in the effort to keep in touch with you? Or yes maybe your styles are different.

When we first met we would text all the time. But he never wants to talk on the phone just text. We had one major fight about that two months into dating and his communication changed. He Became distant. When I ask he says because I’m always complaining.So I would say both.

Is he bad at communicating or simply unmotivated to put in the effort to keep in touch with you? Or yes maybe your styles are different.

When we first met we would text all the time. But he never wants to talk on the phone just text. We had one major fight about that two months into dating and his communication changed. He Became distant. When I ask he says because I’m always complaining.So I would say both.

Sorry to hear this. Seems like a lot of baggage for 8 weeks of dating, no? After a handful of dates, you observe and decide, not lecture and try to change or fix someone. Why do you keep running into him? This seems more like fwb, not dating.

dating for a couple months. We met up to have a conversation and he prOmised he would do better. He did for a little and went back to his old ways. every time we had a disagreement we would not speak for a week or two. But IÂ’m the only one reaching out after each fight.

Sorry to hear this. Seems like a lot of baggage for 8 weeks of dating, no? After a handful of dates, you observe and decide, not lecture and try to change or fix someone. Why do you keep running into him? This seems more like fwb, not dating.

Unfortunately it’s been 5 months but had communication issues after 2 months. I should of stopped seeing him but I didn’t. I’ll see him once every two weeks. He lives almost an hour away. Yes it does seem like FWB

I think your communication style is very different from his. He doesnt appear to like to talk or text. I think you should move on. No reason to think this will get better with time.

I don’t think so either

Your friends are wrong to criticize how you ended things. You need to do what you need to do and there is no point in a face to face meeting with a person who is already checked out and hardly speaking with you, not to mention doesn't even treat you like a relationship. You owed him nothing really and had you not reached out, I'd bet money this would have ended a long time ago on its own. You were the one pulling and pushing and keeping it going while he was quite literally recalcitrant toward you. In the future, please leave sooner instead of trying to teach a guy to be who you want him to be.

When you are dating, your time to observe. If the guy doesn't act like you like, walk away. If things change dramatically after a month or a few, even more reason to walk away because that's when you are starting to see his real face and if you don't like what you see, understand that things will only go downhill from there. Learn how to exit quickly and don't get stuck on how things were early on. Focus on what is going on here and now, in the present. The past is gone.

I hope you've learned something from this, so you'll learn to navigate better while dating. Basically, never put more effort into a new relationship than you're getting, and then if you're not happy with the effort, move on. Never double text/double communicate. When you ask to get together and he's busy, the ball is now in his court to ask you for the next time. Don't ask again. I even do this with friendships as well, as my leisure time is limited, and I'll only retain friendships with women who show an equal effort to my own.

You will soon see whether or not you're a priority, and if your dating styles match. If not, move on so you can find your match.

Yes, it's best not to have important discussions over text. Save that for in person, or at least a phone call. In this case, it doesn't matter because you hung on to someone who isn't right for you for far too long. When a man is crazy about you, he will make it crystal clear.

No it's a sign he wasn't that into you, or interested in pursuing a relaitonship. He's just one of those guys that is just as happy being alone. This has nothing to do with you, or anything...just isn't the guy for you. Remember next time, if a guy doesn't fulfill your expectations, end it and find someone who does. Complaining to them about it does noting and as you can see he showed that.

I felt unwanted so I told him I cared about him but it didnÂ’t seem like he felt the same way...

Now is the time to be a little hard on yourself and realistic about the situation. You didn't break up with him. There was nothing to 'break up'. Be kind to yourself and let go. As the others have already mentioned, don't keep putting in energy and effort into someone or a friendship/relationship when it's not being reciprocated in the same way. You're spending a lot of energy, time and life on someone who isn't giving back to you.

I'd ask myself what's going on with me that I need or want someone like this in my life. I may be feeling so low and down that I'm not thinking straight or I've continued on a destructive path for so long that I've gotten used to the way my mind thinks and the bad habits I've developed picking the wrong company. Don't be afraid of snapping out of bad habits and changing the way you think. This person is not ok for you. All your gut instincts are telling you how unnatural and wrong this is from your behaviour, your emotions, his behaviour and your nervousness and your disagreements.

I'm surprised you tolerated this for so long. He clearly was not into you, or is incredibly manipulative. Your friends gave bad advice.

Move on.

This is not a relationship....this is you desperately chasing a guy and trying to force him into a relationship.

If you have to constantly keep reminding a guy that you exist, then it's time to let it go.

There comes a time when we just have to concede that the other person is no longer interested. He doesn't want the type of relationship you do, OP.

He might have been much more enthusiastic at one time, but he's lost interest along the way. Fighting about it is pointless when one party (him, in this case) just doesn't care. How you finally called it off isn't entirely relevant, so don't be too hard on yourself about that. He was already gone and apparently hoping you would take the hint.

I have an ex who told me "Look, if I wanted to see you I'd come see you". It's as simple as that.

No sense chasing your tail anymore.

You can speculate about his preferred communication style, and whether it's right or wrong, or whether you were right or wrong to end it by text for as long as you like. It's not really relevant.

The important thing is that you wanted someone with whom you could have some kind of contact every day, and he just wasn't up for that. You don't need to know why. All you need to know is that there are PLENTY of guys who'd want the same, and now you're free to go and find one!

Good luck!

When you free yourself of this, you can date local interested men. He is most likely seeing someone locally and therefore can't be bothered with communicating with you in between. Think about it. Chance at local sex or texting/arguing?

I’ll see him once every two weeks. He lives almost an hour away. Yes it does seem like FWB