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Thread: Monkey branching and likelihood of reconciliation vs rebound

  1. #31
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why not search for ways to finalize your divorce? 🙈🙉🙊🐵Are you wondering if going back to your "abusive ex" as you call him is what monkey branching means?
    Originally Posted by teeEFc
    I was searching a lot online for monkey branching

  2. #32
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Why not search for ways to finalize your divorce? Are you wondering if going back to your "abusive ex" as you call him is what money branching means?
    Just gonna quote the above.

    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Wait...

    Didnít you marry someone pretty quickly after ending this relationship?

    Didnít you resume contact with him while you are still married?

    Didnít you block him because he called you while you were Ďsickí

    Serious question everyone and Iím not being sarcastic, how is she abused?

    Maybe Iím reading it wrong it just seems like sheís the perpetrator?
    And myself cause Iím still not seeing how this is going 4 pages of poetics about relationships, are we just relaying our life stories or is anyone recognizing this is a married woman... like... am I in the twilight zone right now?

  3. #33
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by teeEFc
    I produced this thread because I'm hurting....I'd love to hear it's still possible as someone in pain
    A lot of people seem to forget this tiny detail, but I hear you Tee*

    Carus*

  4. #34
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Tee.

    Briefly, "if it hurts it isn't love."

    Never mind the monkey branching it is very rare for exes to return. What's so great about an individual who bails out that you would want him or her back?

    As another poster pointed out, yes there is a certain type of individual who may return for another bout in the ring, simply because s/he is short of supply at that moment, and you serve as an in-betweener for them. Would you want that? I think not.

    Have courage. It's like going up a cliff, don't look down or back.

  5.  

  6. #35
    Bronze Member teeEFc's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Just gonna quote the above.



    And myself cause Iím still not seeing how this is going 4 pages of poetics about relationships, are we just relaying our life stories or is anyone recognizing this is a married woman... like... am I in the twilight zone right now?
    Sorry! Thanks for reminding me:

    Essentially, in both scenarios - my ex broke up with me and said we could only be friends and maybe years later we could be something more. I told him I had to start dating, but I help onto hope that he'd try to say those magic words to make us exclusive. He never did - so I had to move on for my mental health and sanity.

    The second scenario - I'm separated (we both signed paperwork). I no longer have any contact with my ex. We will hopefully finalize our divorce in Jan/Feb. I thought I could just file the final divorce papers on our own (in Canada, you can do that) without the need for a lawyer for the final stages. I really want to avoid legal fees - but I just don't think it's possible (As Wiseman said).

    When I reached out to my former ex, I had already been separated and living on my own. We need to wait one year before everything can go down with that little piece of paper. The marriage is still over and there's no going back. My ex spouse also agreed.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, you are hurting yourself by not getting therapy, chitchatting with this "abusive ex" who has a gf and not seeking out legal advice to protect yourself in the divorce. Have you decided to stay married? Sadly you seem to be your own worse enemy.
    Originally Posted by teeEFc
    T I produced this thread because I'm hurting and was looking to see if others could confirm what I feared - monkey branching exes won't return.

  8. #37
    Bronze Member teeEFc's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Unfortunately, you are hurting yourself by not getting therapy, chitchatting with this "abusive ex" who has a gf and not seeking out legal advice to protect yourself in the divorce. Have you decided to stay married? Sadly you seem to be your own worse enemy.
    No more chit chat with the ex.
    I am still on track for a divorce in Jan/Feb.
    I'm starting to feel more comfortable being on my own.
    I am doing therapy right now. I think there's a lot to delve into and that's where the awesome folks on here have life experiences to add to my theoretical therapy experiences.

  9. #38
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by teeEFc
    But, generally speaking - do you believe if someone lined up someone else - might they come back?
    Well, play that out. Pretend your ex came back. How long would you enjoy that feeling before it occurs to you that this is the same person who has already showed you his capacity to line up someone else before dumping you.

    So now how secure and happy would you feel every morning as he heads out the door to interact with a world full of other people he could potentially dump you for--again?

    Is that really how you would want to live?

  10. #39
    Bronze Member teeEFc's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Well, play that out. Pretend your ex came back. How long would you enjoy that feeling before it occurs to you that this is the same person who has already showed you his capacity to line up someone else before dumping you.

    So now how secure and happy would you feel every morning as he heads out the door to interact with a world full of other people he could potentially dump you for--again?

    Is that really how you would want to live?
    No. No it's not.
    I like how you asked me to put myself in the situation of acquiring someone back who lined up someone else.

    I know it may seem like folks like yourself are saying the same things over and over again in different ways, but it's incredibly helpful to those of us who are confused, hurt and wanting to understand how to move forward.
    What you've said is helping me move forward. I do read other people's threads and see wonderful comments like yours as inspiration to keep going. I hope people get to see your comments and can be assisted the way have been (and continue to be assisted).

    Even your signature quote is wonderful.

    Thanks so much @catfeeder!

  11. #40
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    Originally Posted by Cannelle
    ...usually, they come back because they're lonely or things didn't work out with the rebound or the person they did monkey branching with. So they come back and all the reasons why your relationship with them crashed are still there, unresolved. The worse part is that there is no real intention from either part to really fix the issues. Therefore the relationship crashes again. .
    I had one who branched off come back after 10 years.

    As you say, the old reasons are still there, there was no attempt by this partner to fix anything, and it was over in a few months.

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