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Thread: Failure

  1. #1
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    Failure

    If someone (during a bad break up) said to you, "When I look at you I see all of my failures." how would you take that? Just looking for opinions because it is still bothering me. Thank you!

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    Member simple cure's Avatar
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    That's someone else's problem, sounds like, either way, it's all the things combined that made the break up what it was, for whatever reasons.
    In a nutshell I think that's what all break ups are, someone finally realized that they brought their ten peice luggage brim full of all of their crap, their mistakes in not growing up past certain events in their life, their desperation for a relationship to cover up their mistakes then realizing they're still the same person, making their same mistakes with other people.
    You and whoever was before or after are just lessons for them, but good for you- you get to find a relationship now that'll suit you, not with someone who wants you to help carry their luggage, but someone who is actually interested in YOU.

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    Are you still talking to this creep? Are you still trying to be his 'friend' to get him back? Does he still have a gf?

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    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    It depends on who's saying it. If it's from your ex, it sounds like a cynical, sarcastic comment. Also known as a backhanded compliment. Sort of like "you think you're so good and have it together" type expression.

    If the comment is from an outsider such as a friend, it sounds like the person saying it is envious of you, your life, what you have, no troubles and success. When comparing you to them, the person feels like an inadequate loser compared to your character and life in general.

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    Originally Posted by Geminifeed
    If someone (during a bad break up) said to you, "When I look at you I see all of my failures." how would you take that? Just looking for opinions because it is still bothering me. Thank you!
    I would see it as exposing what a nasty piece of work your ex is. There is no reason to say that to someone, in the context of a breakup, or at all.

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I'd say - goodbye, and leave.

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    This person sounds tremendously sad and remorseful, to me. Since you mentioned this is a bad break up, OP, I'm guessing that it's not in mutual agreement. I'm sorry you're going through this.

    I'd accept things as they are. There's nothing you can do or fix. Let it go. Don't drag out a break up even longer. Be respectful of each other and accept what is. What matters is that you continue living your best life and move forwards. Remember that all things pass.

  9. #8
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    Rose, he dumped her, then moved on to a women 12 years his junior, a couple of weeks later. He treated the OP terribly, yet she stuck around while he shared his relationship problems with her.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's been almost a year of ruminating and being stuck. It may be time to see a doctor/therapist and get to the root of things.

    My advice remains the same:[Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by Geminifeed
    If someone (during a bad break up) said to you, "When I look at you I see all of my failures."

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It's been almost a year of ruminating and being stuck. It may be time to see a doctor/therapist and get to the root of things.

    My advice remains the same:[Register to see the link]
    I agree.....

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