Geminifeed Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 If someone (during a bad break up) said to you, "When I look at you I see all of my failures." how would you take that? Just looking for opinions because it is still bothering me. Thank you! Link to comment
simple cure Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 That's someone else's problem, sounds like, either way, it's all the things combined that made the break up what it was, for whatever reasons. In a nutshell I think that's what all break ups are, someone finally realized that they brought their ten peice luggage brim full of all of their crap, their mistakes in not growing up past certain events in their life, their desperation for a relationship to cover up their mistakes then realizing they're still the same person, making their same mistakes with other people. You and whoever was before or after are just lessons for them, but good for you- you get to find a relationship now that'll suit you, not with someone who wants you to help carry their luggage, but someone who is actually interested in YOU. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 Are you still talking to this creep? Are you still trying to be his 'friend' to get him back? Does he still have a gf? Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 It depends on who's saying it. If it's from your ex, it sounds like a cynical, sarcastic comment. Also known as a backhanded compliment. Sort of like "you think you're so good and have it together" type expression. If the comment is from an outsider such as a friend, it sounds like the person saying it is envious of you, your life, what you have, no troubles and success. When comparing you to them, the person feels like an inadequate loser compared to your character and life in general. Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 If someone (during a bad break up) said to you, "When I look at you I see all of my failures." how would you take that? Just looking for opinions because it is still bothering me. Thank you! I would see it as exposing what a nasty piece of work your ex is. There is no reason to say that to someone, in the context of a breakup, or at all. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 I'd say - goodbye, and leave. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 This person sounds tremendously sad and remorseful, to me. Since you mentioned this is a bad break up, OP, I'm guessing that it's not in mutual agreement. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'd accept things as they are. There's nothing you can do or fix. Let it go. Don't drag out a break up even longer. Be respectful of each other and accept what is. What matters is that you continue living your best life and move forwards. Remember that all things pass. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 Rose, he dumped her, then moved on to a women 12 years his junior, a couple of weeks later. He treated the OP terribly, yet she stuck around while he shared his relationship problems with her. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 It's been almost a year of ruminating and being stuck. It may be time to see a doctor/therapist and get to the root of things. My advice remains the same:https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=560717&p=7145003&viewfull=1#post7145003If someone (during a bad break up) said to you, "When I look at you I see all of my failures." Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 It's been almost a year of ruminating and being stuck. It may be time to see a doctor/therapist and get to the root of things. My advice remains the same:https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=560717&p=7145003&viewfull=1#post7145003 I agree..... Link to comment
DancingFool Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 I'd see that as an a hole loser trying to project his issues onto me while trying to make himself feel better and superior. Toxic, nasty, abusive, creepy. As others said, my reaction would be goodbye, good riddance, block, delete, never ever have any contact with that kind of a creepy low life again. Sane people do not say things like that, OP. Never ever ever. Link to comment
Geminifeed Posted November 13, 2019 Author Share Posted November 13, 2019 Thank you everyone. I am starting therapy soon, it's just hard to get over some of the things that he said to me and sometimes it helps to hear different perspectives from a third party. I definitely took it as it being my fault for making him feel like a failure. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 Have you gone no contact? Link to comment
Geminifeed Posted November 13, 2019 Author Share Posted November 13, 2019 I haven't reached out to him. He still comments on my social media and posts things directed at me so I stopped using Facebook and viewing his social media. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Black hm. Stop allowing him to control you. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Why are you hanging on like this? Block and delete him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps.He still comments on my social media and posts things directed at me. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Sounds like a load of huey from someone trying to throw blame for his own shortcomings. Don't buy it. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 I definitely took it as it being my fault for making him feel like a failure. Nah. Let that stuff go. Take care of yourself and enjoy the finer things. If you don't get along, you don't get along. Be honest with yourself and accept new influences and change, make better changes that give you room to grow in positive ways. Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 I’m sorry you are going Link to comment
Geminifeed Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 Thanks everybody. I'm doing better but it's hard when you still love/miss someone and are also dealing with the guilt from the relationship ending. Link to comment
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