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Thread: I met his co-workers, need advice

  1. #1
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    I met his co-workers, need advice

    Hi everyone! I need some advice in regard to the guy I am seeing and was hoping someone could help.

    So I have been seeing someone I met from a dating app for 2 months. On our first date I asked him what he was looking for on the app and he told me he didn't know. He said had recently got out of a 6 year relationship about 5 months ago. We went on many more dates, some outside and some at his place.

    He's very affectionate and shows affection to me outside in public as much as he does indoors. Last Friday I was waiting for him to finish work outside the train station, as that's our usual meeting spot during the weekday. It was very cold that day so he called me and told me that he wanted me to come to his office and wait a little while until he finished. He has asked me to wait for him outside his office once, but never inside.

    Once I got there he told me that he wanted to show me his desk and also get me a drink in the kitchen area. His co-workers saw me with him in the kitchen/lounge area and he introduced me to them. I sat and talked with one of his co-workers that he works very closely with on projects while he finished up his work for quite a while. Right before we left to go on our date, he then showed me his desk area.

    What was the point of having me wait at his office where his co-workers could see me? I could have easily waited at a Starbucks nearby. Any input would be helpful, thanks!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Pisces.

    I'll turn the question around and ask YOU why you think he brought you into his workplace/office?

    You could also remark to him that you found it odd after only 2 months dating.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It seems he was just bringing you out of the cold or collecting you like a lost pet. It's inappropriate of you to wait around for him before a date. It seems it wasn't a short 5 minutes for example as you said it was "quite awhile". How long did you wait for him?

    Next time something like this comes up, reschedule and meet at another time. You're a bit of a doormat.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok have the exclusive talk. Particularly if he continues to be nebulous. Why not meet in a decent place next time? Ask him to text if he is going to be late. Also does he come to your area or do you go to his?

    No, meeting coworkers does not mean anything, except that you should plan better dates and not wait around if he's chronically late like that. Try to communicate more clearly and make sure you're not waiting around for him all the time.

    Have you been to his home? It sounds like he may still be in contact with his ex so be very careful with this guy.
    Originally Posted by PiscesDream5
    I have been seeing someone I met from a dating app for 2 months. On our first date I asked him what he was looking for on the app and he told me he didn't know.
    What was the point of having me wait at his office where his co-workers could see me?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Fully agree with you Wiseman. Hanging around outside in the cold waiting for a man is not an attractive proposition.

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    Maybe he thinks you're a bit of a catch and wanted to impress his co-workers by introducing you to them. I wouldn't be making a habit of waiting around for a man outside a station, particularly not when it's cold and dark.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I wouldn't read into it this much if I were you. He didn't want you to shiver out in the cold so he did the polite thing by asking you to wait indoors where it was warm. It's more convenient than having to walk to Starbucks and wait there all by yourself.

    He's not embarrassed by you in front of his colleagues so consider it a compliment. Just remain discreet and all is ok. Not to worry!

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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    It seems he was just bringing you out of the cold or collecting you like a lost pet. It's inappropriate of you to wait around for him before a date. It seems it wasn't a short 5 minutes for example as you said it was "quite awhile". How long did you wait for him?

    Next time something like this comes up, reschedule and meet at another time. You're a bit of a doormat.
    To clarify what I meant was that I was only waiting by the train station for 5 minutes before he called me and told me that he had some last minute work to finish and he wanted me to come the office. He told me it would take 30 minutes to finish his work while I was there. It was close to 40 minutes that I spent inside of his office with him.

    Usually we always meet at the appointed time, he has never made me wait on him. I finish work at 5pm and we meet at 6pm when he finishes work.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PiscesDream5
    To clarify what I meant was that I was only waiting by the train station for 5 minutes before he called me and told me that he had some last minute work to finish and he wanted me to come the office. He told me it would take 30 minutes to finish his work while I was there. It was close to 40 minutes that I spent inside of his office with him.

    Usually we always meet at the appointed time, he has never made me wait on him. I finish work at 5pm and we meet at 6pm when he finishes work.
    Well, it's done though and that time has passed. You won't get back that 40 minutes waiting for him and if you enjoyed yourself, there's no harm in it. If you dislike that sort of thing I'd set it straight now rather than carrying on waiting for him in the office while he finishes up his work in the future. Dating should set the tone for things later on down the line. Remember that you're not agreeing to anything just to make someone like you. You're agreeing (or disagreeing) because you are letting the other person know what you're about and where you stand. It's part of the getting to know you process and seeing whether you as people or whether your lives (time etc) are compatible.

    As far as what it means meeting his coworkers, it could be as mindless and selfish as him just needing to get some work done (with little regard to you). I wouldn't read into it. I'd focus more on how you feel about it and whether you think it's something you are ok with going forward if it happens again.

  11. #10
    Member BurtReynolds's Avatar
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    I think that he was just wanting to show you off to his co-workers. I would take this as a good sign.

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