Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 40

Thread: I met his co-workers, need advice

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,851
    Gender
    Male
    Why don't you date on weekends? Does he live with someone?
    Originally Posted by PiscesDream5
    I finish work at 5pm and we meet at 6pm when he finishes work.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    London, UK
    Age
    48
    Posts
    3,127
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by PiscesDream5
    I don't have an issue with the fact that he was delayed. My question comes from the fact that originally he planned for us to stay in the lounge on another floor where none of his co-workers were to finish his work. Then he decided to have us stay in his office area where all of his co-workers are. I didn't understand what the point of that was. I guess i'm seeing it differently because if I was unsure of what I was looking for and was seeing someone I would not have them inside of my workplace for them to meet my co-workers. I was just trying to get varying opinions, it could mean nothing as some have stated.
    Something came up and he had to work a little longer on something before going on a date, then all good, as long as it is something that doesn't happen regularly, which you say it's not. It's cold outside, come wait inside. Considerate, sounds okay to me. Then your mind goes crazy..> Why did he, why did he, why why why... leave you there for all his co-workers to see. Perhaps as some have said to show of this cute girl he is dating?

    But here is the important part. You decided to stay there, uncomfortable and then come online to question his motives. Sure, you could have gone to wait in Starbucks, but did he have to suggest that? Or, do you have the nouse to maybe feel uncomfortable with his workmates around and excuse yourself and go to starbucks anyway?


    I like him, he seems like he likes me. He messages me everyday and he literally acts like a boyfriend whenever we're together. There have been times though where he looks like something is on his mind or he wants to say something and I asked him what he was thinking/feeling. He always tells me that it's nothing. I'm not rushing to put a label on things, but it was a bit confusing.
    Guys think about stuff, and the majority of it is not about his feelings for you, or about you at all. He could be thinking about the sandwich he had yesterday and planning when he could have it again. He could be thinking about his sports team having won or lost. That it's his best mate's birthday in a month and he's looking forward to the party, or perhaps he really has to fart and is trying to figure out how he can excuse himself to do that.

    When a girl then asks, what are you thinking about, it really is nothing. Most men know when a girl is asking something along those lines, she is wondering if he is thinking about her.

    Chill out. Try not to think so much. Have fun. He sounds like he is worth dating.

  3. #23
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Why don't you date on weekends? Does he live with someone?
    We meet on the weekends too. He sometimes has to work from home during the weekend and he also is doing online classes.

  4. #24
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    20
    I appreciate all of your advice! As I stated before I am not bothered at all by the fact that I had to be around his co-workers and wait for him.

    The reason it seemed confusing to me is the fact that he has lied to me once when we had just started seeing each other. We had gone out on two dates and he told me that he was going away on a business trip to Chicago for a week and told me what day he would be back. He messaged me all throughout his trip and told me again the exact day he would be back because he wanted to see me the next day.

    I found out through his Instagram that he was back in NYC a day before he claimed he would be back and yet he was messaging me telling me that he was still in Chicago. I never told him how I found out, but I kept asking him if he was sure he wasn't home when I saw him the next day. Eventually he told me that yes he was back, but the only reason he didn't want to tell me is because he went to an event with a female friend of his. We had only gone on 2 dates so I don't know why he felt the need to lie. I was already dealing with trust issues before that happened.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,806
    No need to get all fancy with "trust issues" - he told you who he is, he lies. And it was a stupid lie - of course you were bound to find out. So that is why you're putting all this stuff under a microscope. Because right away his first impression is he lied about where he was multiple times. Sounds exhausting now to have to wonder/monitor "Ok now is he telling me the truth?" You decided to keep seeing him so it's on you -is it worth the stress hormones/potential stomachache/headache/sleepless nights to date this guy? No he wasn't cheating at all by going on a date -all he had to say was that he was back from his trip and were you available on a particular day. Didn't have to be the very next day of course.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,851
    Gender
    Male
    Are you exclusive now? He doesn't seem worth the headache no less waiting around for whether outside in the cold, at coffee shop, his office, etc or at all. It sounds like someone else is in the picture.
    Originally Posted by PiscesDream5
    he has lied to me once when we had just started seeing each other. Eventually he told me that yes he was back, but the only reason he didn't want to tell me is because he went to an event with a female friend of his. We had only gone on 2 dates so I don't know why he felt the need to lie.

  8. #27
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Are you exclusive now? He doesn't seem worth the headache no less waiting around for whether outside in the cold, at coffee shop, his office, etc or at all. It sounds like someone else is in the picture.
    We never had the DTR talk, so I assume we're not. I think his dating profile is still up, it was about a month ago when I saw that he updated his pictures while we were dating. He has asked me about whether I saw any cute guys while I was out, and one time he put his sweater on my lap when I was sitting on the train and I asked him why he did that as none of my private parts were showing. He said "I don't want anyone looking at what is mine". When I asked him what he meant he went quiet and then said it was nothing.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,851
    Gender
    Male
    He sounds quite creepy. Hopefully, since you are not exclusive you are dating better quality men than this weirdo.
    Originally Posted by PiscesDream5
    I think his dating profile is still up, it was about a month ago when I saw that he updated his pictures while we were dating.
    one time he put his sweater on my lap when I was sitting on the train and I asked him why he did that as none of my private parts were showing. He said "I don't want anyone looking at what is mine". When I asked him what he meant he went quiet and then said it was nothing.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    3,636
    Gender
    Male
    Are you into all this?

    No judgement, as I've enjoyed my share of nebulous romance—though I've found I enjoy it when I'm genuinely seeking nebulous and genuinely not expecting it to develop into anything concrete.

    I'm getting a different impression about all this. He tells you on his first date that he's fresh off the relationship boat, has no idea what he wants—not exactly music to the ears of someone with "trust issues." He tells a dumb lie—another scratch of the record. He updates his dating app profile, nudges you about your dating life—fine, I guess, if you're into that kind of hot sauce. But all that really contradicts the image of him "acting" like a boyfriend. I'd say it's more him unapologetically being someone who is not interested in being anyone's boyfriend. As for the sweater business: does that register as charming and intentional to you, or just kind of weird? Do you want a man—casual, committed, whatever—to think of you as a possession?

    Guess all I'm saying is that if you're looking for a boyfriend out of this I'm not sure you're getting boyfriend material. Charming roll in the hay? Check. Sizzling placeholder? Check. You can go with it, wait it out, enjoy the ride. You can have a little talk. You can do whatever you'd like, of course. I'd just be honest with yourself about what you're feeling, what you're wanting, and what you're actually getting here, so that you're not turning certain things (Instagram, dating profiles, sweaters, officemates) into hieroglyphics that tell one story while another is unspooling in reality.

  11. #30
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    He sounds quite creepy. Hopefully, since you are not exclusive you are dating better quality men than this weirdo.
    I have been dating around in the meantime, so far I met alot of duds. But I'm still continuing to date others nonetheless!

Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •