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Thread: I met his co-workers, need advice

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok have the exclusive talk. Particularly if he continues to be nebulous. Why not meet in a decent place next time? Ask him to text if he is going to be late. Also does he come to your area or do you go to his?

    No, meeting coworkers does not mean anything, except that you should plan better dates and not wait around if he's chronically late like that. Try to communicate more clearly and make sure you're not waiting around for him all the time.

    Have you been to his home? It sounds like he may still be in contact with his ex so be very careful with this guy.
    This is the first time I had to wait on him, usually we always meet at the appointmented time. I only waited for 5 minutes before he called and told me to come to his office, since he had a few more things he had to finish up.

    I have been to his house many times. I slept over the first time this past Sunday, even though he has always offered for me to stay over each time I was there.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Is what you're really wondering here about his feelings for you, his intentions, how "serious" he is about all this? I just can't help but feel like you're reading into this moment because you have some questions, and possibly some doubts, in your mind that are swirling as your feelings expand.

  3. #13
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    I can't really understand what your issue is here -that he was delayed? That he chose to have you wait at his office (was this a last minute work thing that came up where he couldn't tell you in advance he'd be running late?). I wouldn't read into it - at most he messed up the timing and came up with an alternate plan that seemed to make sense and kept you out of the cold. Do both of you have jobs that really end at that precise time, all the time -you never have to stay late if something comes up (almost all of my jobs didn't allow me to clock out at a specific time if my work wasn't done or if something came up, same with almost everyone I dated so flexibility was required at times).

  4. #14
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think he just wanted to get you in out of the cold, no ulterior motive comes to mind.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I can't really understand what your issue is here -that he was delayed? That he chose to have you wait at his office (was this a last minute work thing that came up where he couldn't tell you in advance he'd be running late?). I wouldn't read into it - at most he messed up the timing and came up with an alternate plan that seemed to make sense and kept you out of the cold. Do both of you have jobs that really end at that precise time, all the time -you never have to stay late if something comes up (almost all of my jobs didn't allow me to clock out at a specific time if my work wasn't done or if something came up, same with almost everyone I dated so flexibility was required at times).
    I don't have an issue with the fact that he was delayed. My question comes from the fact that originally he planned for us to stay in the lounge on another floor where none of his co-workers were to finish his work. Then he decided to have us stay in his office area where all of his co-workers are. I didn't understand what the point of that was. I guess i'm seeing it differently because if I was unsure of what I was looking for and was seeing someone I would not have them inside of my workplace for them to meet my co-workers. I was just trying to get varying opinions, it could mean nothing as some have stated.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PiscesDream5
    I guess i'm seeing it differently because if I was unsure of what I was looking for and was seeing someone I would not have them inside of my workplace for them to meet my co-workers.
    So this is the gist, yeah?

    You're 60 days in and your understanding of his intentions remains what he said on his first date. If you're curious how he feels, why not talk about it? That's pretty good sleepover convo. Doesn't have to feel like negotiating a global arms treaty, but it might be less nervy that turning moments like this into a hieroglyphics that may provide an alternate to "don't know what I'm looking for."

    Do you like this guy? Do you get the sense that he likes you? Do you have a sense of what you'd like, after some time getting to know him?

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    So this is the gist, yeah?

    You're 60 days in and your understanding of his intentions remains what he said on his first date. If you're curious how he feels, why not talk about it? That's pretty good sleepover convo. Doesn't have to feel like negotiating a global arms treaty, but it might be less nervy that turning moments like this into a hieroglyphics that may provide an alternate to "don't know what I'm looking for."

    Do you like this guy? Do you get the sense that he likes you? Do you have a sense of what you'd like, after some time getting to know him?
    I like him, he seems like he likes me. He messages me everyday and he literally acts like a boyfriend whenever we're together. There have been times though where he looks like something is on his mind or he wants to say something and I asked him what he was thinking/feeling. He always tells me that it's nothing. I'm not rushing to put a label on things, but it was a bit confusing.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PiscesDream5
    I like him, he seems like he likes me. He messages me everyday and he literally acts like a boyfriend whenever we're together. There have been times though where he looks like something is on his mind or he wants to say something and I asked him what he was thinking/feeling. He always tells me that it's nothing. I'm not rushing to put a label on things, but it was a bit confusing.
    I wouldn't read into it, save for evidence that you are becoming confused.

    Earmark it as a reminder that a conversation might be worth having, at least if you continue to find yourself wondering about how he is "acting" without being sure what he is thinking or feeling. I get the sense that what you are confused about is that a guy who "doesn't know what he is looking for" is now "acting like a boyfriend." Probably best, for you, to see about bridging those two islands at some point.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by PiscesDream5
    I like him, he seems like he likes me. He messages me everyday and he literally acts like a boyfriend whenever we're together. There have been times though where he looks like something is on his mind or he wants to say something and I asked him what he was thinking/feeling. He always tells me that it's nothing. I'm not rushing to put a label on things, but it was a bit confusing.
    It's fine not to want a "label" just for the sake of a label - but do you want what a label would reflect -that he is exclusive with you, sees potential for a future, is not looking to date anyone else and would like you to stop looking to date anyone else? If so then I would decide how long you would stay with him if he never wanted to be exclusive with you. Right now he is not -he acts like he likes you, he stays in touch by text, he "acts like" a boyfriend - but of course your post shows that you don't have that comfy secure feeling because at least if he expressed that he wants to be exclusive with you there wouldn't be guarantees but now not only are there no guarantees, he is free to date others without letting you know/breaking things off.

  11. #20
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    If you were ANYONE waiting for me, sibling, parents, tennis partner, i would ask you to come in from the cold. Don't read too much into it. Just know that he is not "hiding" you from anyone. It means that he is a decent guy and treated you as a decent human being. next time don't meet immediately after work, meet a little later for dinner or something so you both have time to finish up work and get ready for a date.

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