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Thread: She asked "what am I to you?" Pretty sure I answered wrong

  1. #11
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Originally Posted by drivenfuture
    lol...actually...we kissed before she said that lol. so hence thats why I thought she was talking about labeling as boyfriend and girlfriend...but perhaps she just wants to know I'm serious.
    But then again, this is also after I drove an hour to see her, brought her to a park, and according to her, was the 1st man to meet her parents.
    soooo.....I'm not sure why she wouldn't think I was serious.
    Well, I dated a guy for 8 months, stayed with him at his house 3 days a week every week, traveled with him twice a month and met his entire family and many of his friends. When I asked him the "what's our status" question, he told me he "liked" me. Yep, "liked".

    So maybe she wants verbal clarification.

    That being said, I agree it's a little soon for a "definition" or that hated word, a "label".

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    It's only been 5 dates so you're practically still strangers.

    I'd tell the truth. Tell her you don't know what she is to you yet and you need time to think about it as your relationship with her grows.

    She wasn't referring to labeling the relationship. Ask her what she meant. Communication between couples is tantamount. Never get your wires crossed. Always be very clear and make sure she is clear, too whether with her questioning or expectations of you.

    I think she was asking you if you think she could be girlfriend material or just a date after 5 dates. You should tell her that it's premature at this point to have strong feelings about her in one way or the other because both of you need time to figure each other out during this dating stage.

    Tell her exactly what you wrote. Tell her you only started dating her recently and have a wait and see attitude.

    If she's overly dramatic about this, you should know what you're in for and she may be the complicated type. She needs to use common sense and give your dating phase and relationship a chance before pouncing you with such questions.

    She sounds impatient. Just be honest with your feelings and very clear. Do it politely and respectfully though. Don't become angry nor frustrated. Just tell the truth gently. If she's mature, she'll allow your dating phase or relationship to reach fruition and if not, she'll create issues when there shouldn't be any.

    Also, don't relentlessly text back 'n forth otherwise it will lead to burnout very quickly. Give each other respectful and very considerate space and time.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Yeah sorry. It's got nothing to do with religion. I've met Mormons perfectly willing and emotionally mature enough to handle a peck without the assurance of being her zodiac boo.

    Dating isn't an obstacle course.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Are you from different cultures? There seems to be a severe lack of communication. Why answer a question with a question like a game or in an obtuse manner? She may have been fishing for the exclusive talk since you keep trying to move things forward physically and she keeps pushing back on that.
    Originally Posted by drivenfuture
    I asked if that was what she was talking about...she laughed and didn't answer...She texted me later in the night telling me to think about it, saying I hadn't answered.


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