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Thread: How can I learn to go to work when I desperately don't want to?

  1. #1

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    How can I learn to go to work when I desperately don't want to?

    Hello, I'm a 24 year old girl and until now I've only worked occasionally from home, but overall I didn't make much money, mostly my parents supported me financially. However, this year, after a quite serious conversation with my parents, they accused me of being 24 years old who is high time to quit lying in bed, sleeping late and doing nothing all day. They said that I was already an adult and I must begin making a living. I understand them and deep inside, I realize that they are right because almost all people my age already work. Therefore, I started a job that is even well paid and prestigious.

    BUT that's where my psychological breakdown and hell began! Something turned over in me, and as calm and happy as I was at home, the moment I went to work, I received a mix of emotions such as: fear, anxiety, sadness, depression, misery... When I ask myself why I feel this way I immediately find the answer - I miss my previous calm, free and lazy life, where I used to wake up at noon, rest as much as I want, do whatever I want... And now I feel like my freedom is all gone. The worst part is that my parents keep repeating that work is a terrible thing that turns people into slaves that go to work, then go home, eat, go to bed and then again go to work on the next day. A life that lacks all kinds of entertainment and happiness. But I don't want to think that negatively. Yes, work takes up much of our daily lives, but there is still time for fun and happiness, right?

    It's been 1 week since I started my first job and I'm horrified if I'll ever get used to this lifestyle. Before you recommend me to start my own business, I'll say that I'm not a business oriented person, so this alternative is eliminated. Also, I don't have a hobby that I could turn into a job. I don't know, I just feel like I've lost the best part of my life and I'm already an absolutely unhappy slave whose freedom is completely gone.

    However, unfortunately, I realize that I have no other alternative but to work since otherwise, I will have to become a homeless person, which is the worst. But I just don't want to work at all ... you might consider me lazy, but I don't know ... Honestly, I just really miss my previous life, in which I had complete freedom to sleep late, cook at home and eat tasty food, do nothing all day long, or go out with friends ... even though I almost didn't have my own money, and mostly asked my parents to give me some ... What is the advantage of working if that really kills all your calmness and happiness in life? Please, from the bottom of my heart, give me your invaluable pieces of advice on how to adjust to working and everything other you decide, because I really need them desperately!

  2. #2
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Welcome to the real world. I'm sure we would ALL like to have the ability to do whatever we wanted to do all day, but the alternative to working is being homeless. Your parents did you no favors by enabling you to live that lifestyle, and making work sound like such a terrible thing.

    Slap some cold water on your face, and snap out of it! You can do whatever you want to do all day in 40 years, when you retire.

  3. #3
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    The advantage to working is having an income to pay for all of the things you need in life, with hopefully enough left over to pay for whatever you consider fun.

    The advantage to working is having self esteem from knowing everything you own and everything you do is the result of the work you put in.

    The advantage to working is satisfaction from a job well done, praise you may get from others, and a sense of accomplishment.

    Or, you could sponge off your parents forever and when they're gone you'll have no way to support yourself so you'll either be homeless or be begging relatives to give you cash to pay for the basics like food and shelter.

    In this thread you posted a few days ago [Register to see the link] you implied you've been working for a while (you reference "jobs") but you don't think you deserve to buy yourself nice things.

    Which of these narratives is accurate? They sound completely opposite so I can't tell where you're at.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    By the sounds of it your parents failed to lay the ground work when you were growing up. Delayed gratification means you work first, receive your reward for having done so. You learn to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment for doing the work and then being rewarded after the fact.

    Quote from Dr. Phil *Doing too much for your children is a form of child abuse.

    Strong words? Yes. But it's a parents most important job to teach their children to fend for themselves and it's a sign of a job well done when your child seeks a healthy independence and has the desire to leave. Parents start teaching their children this when they are toddlers, not at 24.

    Much like baby birds leave the nest. You know how, right? Because the momma birds boot them out of the nest and ready or not, they have to fly.

    Your parents waited waaaay to long to suddenly attempt to teach you these fundamentals:
    Do your homework - go out and play. Eat your dinner - get desert. Go to work - get a paycheck (and survive)

    Parents that fail to teach their children delayed gratification end up being very much like you. Sort of paralyzed and not sure where to start and unmotivated to do so.

    So where do you go from here? You pull your big girl pants up, grow up and start learning some maturity skills on your own. You become your own parent.

    Besides, jobs aren't hobbies. It's called `going to work' for a reason.

    Maybe a life coach or therapy might be in order for you. What other choice do you have?

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  6. #5
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I want to lay on my butt all day too but I like eating and living somewhere . Hence I have been working since I was 16 full time and went to school full time. Now at 4 days from 53 my azz still gets up at 5:30 AM to work.

    Welcome to life.

  7. #6
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Also at 24 if I was laying around my parentís house doing nothing I would have been thrown in the park.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Work is NOT a terrible thing that turns people into slaves. This is just a distorted view of it. In reality it is a useful vehicle of gaining independence and managing your life according to your own wishes rather than your parents. It can also be a place where you get to meet some cool people and collaborate towards common goals, which can make you feel accomplished and satisfied. Work is what you make it.

    As much as laziness might have been appealing, the situation was keeping you back and wasw never never going to last as your parents would be gone some day. So, you did need to start working. Work is just a new habit that you need to form. At first it may require going through a learning curve but once you get used to it, you will at last be a free woman. Good luck.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Is this a joke post? I honestly can not tell if this is satire or not.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    Is this a joke post? I honestly can not tell if this is satire or not.
    Check out the previous thread. I'm confused because they sound opposite.

    OP, can you please clarify?

  11. #10
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    And it's important to do something you enjoy. I look forward to going to work every morning even after 38 years! The trick is to do what you enjoy, and earn enough money to support your hobbies!

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