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Thread: How can I learn to go to work when I desperately don't want to?

  1. #21
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dias
    Maybe "tough love" work for some but not for everyone. Besides, harsh words don't change reality only actions do. Too much drama over nothing. She will continue going to work like everyone else in this world and she will learn to like it over time. It's the inception now, it is always difficult at first.

    OP, congrats on getting a new good job :) Learn how to become very good at your job. The biggest real satisfaction you can get in this life is the satisfaction of becoming really really good at something.

    PS: See Camber, this is how you motivate people. If you want to motivate/help someone better trigger his/her inner motivation. Tough love doesn't do anything.
    Thanks so much for the life lesson... I'm sure I've motivated and helped more than my fair share of people along the way. SO, tough love is bad, but your PA comments are OK in your little world?

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I dunno, I got a lot of tough love. I am a productive member of society.

    That's why I said it tough love works for someone but not for all. I am a productive member of society and I am not fan of tough love (it's pretty obvious lol).

    As reinvent said, the OP hasn't learned yet the benefits of delayed gratification. Give her a year or two.

  3. #23
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I dunno, I got a lot of tough love. I am a productive member of society.
    What? No safe spaces and participation trophies? How did you manage to survive!!!

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    Thanks so much for the life lesson... I'm sure I've motivated and helped more than my fair share of people along the way. SO, tough love is bad, but your PA comments are OK in your little world?
    You stated your opinion, I stated mine. Never said you are wrong.

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  6. #25
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    What? No safe spaces and participation trophies? How did you manage to survive!!!
    We had teachers that threw chalkboard brushes at our head.

  7. #26
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    We had teachers that threw chalkboard brushes at our head.
    I'll bet you paid attention after that!!! Works better than having a "discussion" about why students should behave!!!

  8. #27
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Check out the previous thread. I'm confused because they sound opposite.

    OP, can you please clarify?
    Ok I guess it's not a joke.
    Sounds like she was talking about her one week on a job.
    That's she's had everything, including her education in full, taken care of for her up until this point in her life.
    She doesn't have anything to gauge hard working or not yet, so probably means going to school.

    OP, what's the job you have started? If it's well paying and prestigious, you are starting off a lot easier than the vast majority of folks.

  9. #28
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    Ok I guess it's not a joke.
    Sounds like she was talking about her one week on a job.
    That's she's had everything, including her education in full, taken care of for her up until this point in her life.
    She doesn't have anything to gauge hard working or not yet, so probably means going to school.

    OP, what's the job you have started? If it's well paying and prestigious, you are starting off a lot easier than the vast majority of folks.
    Right ?

    I started working for $3.25 an hour. So people will have to forgive me if I donít cry.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Malvinka.

    Why do you think your parents keep saying this:

    "The worst part is that my parents keep repeating that work is a terrible thing that turns people into slaves that go to work, then go home, eat, go to bed and then again go to work on the next day." For sure there were certain employments where that might well have been the case. But that was their life, not yours.

    I can only surmise that their work, whatever it was, consisted of total drudgery, and that they, mistakenly, want or wanted to "shield" you from what they perceive as drudgery, but did you a poor favour by projecting in that fashion.

  11. #30
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    The biggest problem I see here is a bad attitude. I mean of course we all have our own opinions but I think your opinion that doing nothing is great is quite detrimental. I work with people with disabilities and mental health issues and at times my work can be challenging of course. Sometimes I do think I'm sick of it and want to do something else/not do anything. But the thing is that I don't feel that doing nothing is good and I don't enjoy it.

    Back in 2014 I was made redundant and spent a couple of months looking for a new job. I was going crazy staying at home and was really bored and restless. I'm very surprised that you actually enjoy doing basically nothing and not having any purpose in life, not having a routine, something to get up for. I think the fact that you think like that is not common at all and is very surprising.

    Most people want to do something with their time, even if it's just to have something to occupy themselves with and connect with their community. Some of the people I support at work have intellectual or physical disabilities and they already receive a pension from the government to live on, plus a lot of funding for life support. One lives with his parents. So technically he doesn't have to work or do anything at all. But for seven years now he volunteers in an OP shop twice a week, and also on a Wednesday has a paid job delivering catalogues. He enjoys his work and getting to know people and feels fulfilled from it.

    I understand that working is scary and nerve wrecking. It might also be not enjoyable if you don't like the actual work you do. I'm not surprised that you're feeling anxious about work but I'm just surprised that you like doing nothing. I understand being a homebody but even most people who are a homebody have jobs, study, volunteer, do at least something with their time.

    To be honest I think that even your friends might get bored with you eventually if you don't do anything because you won't have anything to talk about. They'll have jobs and things going on in their life and you won't. Plus you need money to live and catch up with friends. And at your age living off your parents when you have no disabilities or illness is a pretty bad look. If you want to find a relationship it won't be a good look either. We don't live in a time where women are just housewives anymore. Men still want their wife to do something with herself.

    You really have to change your attitude and if you have a more positive attitude about working, you might feel better. If you don't like this job then study something to get a different qualification or get another job.

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