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Thread: Good first date, slow contact afterwards, advice?

  1. #31
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Tahoe. Listen to Wiseman, and the others.

    Your tangible anxiety will send her running for the hills. Guaranteed. And Camber is right. Do try to relax. Anxiety-ridden people are awfully off-putting. And I fear she has picked up on that over-anxiousness. . You will note the word "Maybe" in her reply.

    Another poster remarked "you are coming off as needy". And I guarantee that women do not like that vibe.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Great. Get something down on the books, then live your life for 12 awesome days until you reach that page of the book.

    Think you can go 12 days without become too anxious about things? It's a real, non-judgmental question. You'll need the muscle if you're going to date a mother.

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Great. Get something down on the books, then live your life for 12 awesome days until you reach that page of the book.

    Think you can go 12 days without become too anxious about things? It's a real, non-judgmental question. You'll need the muscle if you're going to date a mother.
    Im going to have too. I will just let her come to me at her own pace and not scare her off

  4. #34
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok good plan. For a single mother this is a feasible reason, plus she offered the following weekend. Text her here and there and closer to that time suggest a date.
    Originally Posted by 2005TAHOE
    She said "Maybe we can plan something for the following weekend bc I have my son this weekend."

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 2005TAHOE
    Im going to have to. I will just let her come to me at her own pace and not scare her off
    Are you a monster or a man?

    Why not come to her at your pace, while making sure the fuel of that pace isn't anxiety and hormones? I don't mean that flippantly, but this business of "letting" her "come to you"—what's up with that? This is not snake charming, but dating.

    She is a person. You are a person. You have, right now, literally no idea how you two get along as people. That is exciting. You find that out by just being your person, as she is her person. That is exciting too. It is allowed to go a million ways at this stage, including nowhere. Get cozy with that fact so it's not the monster that's scaring you, you know?

  7. #36
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I personally wouldn't try to lock something down seeing she pushed things back a good 10 days or so. It just seems pushy.

    You have a tentative date for the following weekend. Be confident with that.

    Get busy with your own life and if you don't hear from her in a couple days or so, consider calling her to talk and catch up in the meantime.
    Making a firm date for the weekend of November 23rd seems awkward. A lot happens in the space of 10 days.

    Have some faith, stay optimistic and manage your expectations. Remember, she doesn't owe you anything at this point in time.

  8. #37
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    You’re overthinking. She seems into you. Wait a day or two and ask her out again.

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